Small Town Misfit

Brook Park, OH
Officers responding to a report of three people trying to break into a home on Sylvia Drive early Saturday morning found three drunken teenagers in the yard.

One of the teens was reportedly trying to shoot a blowgun dart into a car tire in the driveway.

The boys were charged with disorderly intoxication, criminal mischief and curfew violations.

Found in the News Sun

Parma Heights, OH
An intoxicated and disorderly 18-year-old Oakwood Road man told employees at a Pearl Road gas station Sunday that he “knew he was going to jail,” and he was “looking forward to it.”

Officers arrived on the scene moments later, and were more than happy to oblige.

Clerks had called police after the suspect went on an alcohol-induced tirade about high gas prices. While in custody, he spit on the windows inside a police cruiser. After he was booked, the suspect destroyed a jailhouse telephone.

The suspect was charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, underage liquor consumption and felony vandalism for breaking the phone.

Found in the Parma Sun Post

Westerville, OH
A high school lunch period was disrupted Monday by a greased, naked student who ran around screaming and flailing his arms until police twice used a stun gun on him, authorities said.

Taylor Killian, 18, had rubbed his body with grapeseed oil to keep from being caught, and got up after the first time he was shocked to continue running toward a group of frightened students huddled in a corner at Westerville North High School, Lt. Jeff Gaylor said.

“That prank went a little farther than he intended, I guess,” Gaylor said.

Officer Doug Staysniak was monitoring the lunch period when Killian, with long hair and a full beard, ran in the room toward students, who screamed and ran away. The officer is normally assigned to a middle school and did not recognize Killian as a student, Gaylor said.

Police said that an administrator ordered Killian to stop, but that the student made a sexual gesture and kept running.

Killian is in jail and charged with inducing panic, public indecency, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. A message seeking comment was left at Killian’s home.

School officials reported that Killian was a good student, Gaylor said. There was no indication of substance abuse or a medical problem.

Found in the WFIE News

Thanks Luann!

Rio Grande, NM
A male caller said his friend hit him in the head and now the caller has a black eye, a swollen face and can’t think straight. The caller told police he was at a house with no windows. Police located the residence and asked Animal Control to assist because of two vicious dogs at the residence. Police then stunned one of the dogs with a Taser and had Animal Control remove the electric probes. Police arrested one man for battery and the dog was fine.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Royal Palm Beach
A man was inside a store preaching to customers in the 9900 block of Belvedere Road. He was asked to leave the store but he refused. Security called police who asked the man to leave. He walked toward the door, then stopped walking and started preaching again. The officer told him he was going to be arrested if he didn’t follow the orders. The man said that he was assigned a mission from God to give spiritual guidance and was unable to leave. He was arrested.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

Juneau, AK
About 10,000 Juneau residents briefly lost power after a bald eagle lugging a deer head crashed into transmission lines.

“You have to live in Alaska to have this kind of outage scenario,” said Gayle Wood, an Alaska Electric Light & Power spokeswoman. “This is the story of the overly ambitious eagle who evidently found a deer head in the landfill.”

The bird, weighed down by the deer head, apparently failed to clear the transmission lines, she said. A repair crew found the eagle dead, the deer head nearby.

The power was out for less than 45 minutes Sunday.

Found in the Anchorage Daily News

Thanks Larry!

Mukilteo, WA
Officers were called to the 12700 block of 52nd Pl. W for a report of two “very bizarre people in the neighborhood.” They were reported to be wearing suits, one was hitting himself in the head and the other was carrying a red notebook. They were not located.

Found in the Mukilteo Beacon

Grass Valley, CA
At 3:03 p.m., a caller from a bank on the 10000 block of Alta Sierra Drive reported a man came into the bank a few months ago to close his account. The man had the same name as another customer who had more money in his account. The bank made a mistake and closed the other person’s account and the man took the money.

The caller had been trying to get the man to return the money. The man has been cooperative and has said he would return the money, but he has not. An officer contacted the bank manager and left a message for the man to contact the bank.

Found in the Union

Chattanooga, TN
Marquina Daniels of W. Main Street Courts said a woman she knows only as Brittany knocked on the door of her apartment, then attacked her when she opened the door. She said she was cut by Brittany’s fingernails.

She said the problem arose because she is dating “Boogaloo” – the father of Brittany’s baby.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Erie County, NY
An attendant at a gas station at Union and Wehrle told police he spotted a note while filling the tank which said the woman in the vehicle was being kidnapped and the driver was passing her off as his wife. More than four hours later, Pennsylvania State Police confirmed the note was a prank created by the couple, who were honeymooners.

Found in the Bee News

Goleta Valley, CA
With outdoor temperatures in the 30s, deputies became concerned after spotting a young co-ed dressed in only her bra and panties staggering down an Isla Vista street after dark. It was 1 a.m. when authorities stopped her for questioning.

Unable to explain what had happened to her clothing or where she lived, the UCSB student was arrested for public intoxication.

In a drunken stupor following her arrest, and without realizing she was already in the backseat of a patrol vehicle, the 21-year-old stammered, “… get me away from the cops.”

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Goleta Valley, CA
Claiming his eyes had been “bleached by the sun on a recent trip to Jordan,” a young man tried to convince an Isla Vista bartender the photo on his identification card was, indeed, him. In an attempt to prove his point, the subject flagged down a nearby patrolling deputy. It was apparent to the deputy as well that the photo on the card was not the same person as the cardholder. In fact, the deputy pointed out, the eye color recorded on the card did not match. After a lengthy debate, the subject, 19, admitted his guilt.

After his arrest for providing false information to an officer, the officer asked: “Why?”
In response, the regretful, underage subject resident replied simply, “I’m a fool.”

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice