Small Town Misfit

Chadron, NE
1:14 p.m. Caller from the 200 block of Morehead St. advised he bought a bear claw from the above location and it had a capsule inside of it. Caller stated he took it back to the store and they acted like it was no big deal. Caller requesting to talk to an officer.

Found in the Chadron Record

Appleton, WI
Theft: A cable company employee reported a cable theft in the 200 block of Manitowoc Street. When contacted the resident admitted to tapping into the upstairs tenant’s cable line. He told police that he had five kids who liked cable and said, “What am I supposed to do?” Police issued him a summons.

Found in the Appleton Post-Crescent

Atlanta, GA
Two men were hanging out at the Stop N’ Shop on Alison Court, police said. One officer described the men as “two individuals who practically live at the Stop N’ Shop on a daily basis, and I have spoken with them numerous times over the last three years.”

The officer noticed a large bulge in one man’s right pocket. The officer asked: “What do you have in your pocket?” The man, age 26, said he only had a phone charger in his pocket. “While he was moving items around in his pocket, I noticed a white cellophane wrapper,” the officer noted. The officer asked again: “Is there anything in your pocket I need to know about?” The man said, “I got a bag of weed in my pocket.” The officer said: “Give me the marijuana bag.” The man said, “Can I take the weed and pour it out in the grass?” The officer ordered him to give up the marijuana. The man said “OK,” reached down to his shoe and tried to take off running.

The officers stopped the man, who started swinging. He hit one officer in the chest with his elbow. Eventually, the man was handcuffed. Police searched him and came up with a cell phone, $2,190.50 in cash … but no marijuana. The officer asked: “Why did you fight and try to run if you didn’t have any marijuana?” The man said he’d been taking Ecstasy, and it made him “crazy.” He said he was too high on drugs, and thought the marijuana was in his pocket. The man was arrested for obstructing an investigation. He went to jail.

Found in Creative Loafing

Medina, OH
A neighbor walking with her children at 4:30 p.m. Aug. 14 on Oak Street discovered a large rubber object sticking out of a potted plant in front of a house. The X-rated object was picked up by police and destroyed.

Found in the Medina Sun

Orange County, CA
A motorist reported that the passenger of another vehicle threw something into her car that exploded and contained some sort of “toxic substance.” Officers contacted the motorist and determined that nothing had been thrown and the “toxic substance” was coming from an old bottle of milk that had exploded inside her car, 10:05 p.m.

Found in the Orange County Register

Atlanta, GA
At Grady Memorial Hospital, an employee said a woman called the psychiatric ward about 10 to 15 times and said her cousin was wrongfully admitted to the ward, that the employee was going to die, and that she had a scope trained outside Grady. Nothing further.

Found in Creative Loafing

Brunswick, OH
Police are on the lookout for a 39-year-old Sleepy Hollow Road woman who grabbed a large watermelon from a bin near in the produce department of the Giant Eagle Supermarket Thursday afternoon and smashed it on the floor near the store’s front entrance.

Witnesses, including the store’s grocery manager, told police the woman appeared to be intoxicated when she entered the store trying to purchase alcohol. After she attempted to pay using several credit cards that were declined, the store was unable to make the transaction which prompted the woman to lose her temper, causing a scene as she left the store.

The manager followed the woman to her vehicle after the watermelon incident and was able to provide police with a license plate number. Police were initially unable to contact the suspect, however they are still attempting to do so.

Giant Eagle doesn’t plan to prosecute but wants restitution for the damaged watermelon. The woman is also no longer welcome in the store.

Found in the Brunswick Sun Times

Brunswick, OH
A naked man who jumped off a third-floor balcony of a Skyview Drive apartment was taken into custody Saturday night after challenging police to a foot race through the Forest Hills and Hickory Hills subdivisions.

Police say neighbors complained of a male and female yelling inside one of the apartments around 11:47 p.m., which prompted them to investigate. When they arrived, a woman answered the door to the apartment saying she was the only one inside the residence. As police were looking around, they spotted a man wearing no clothes run out the back door onto a balcony where he proceeded to jump off, landing on the concrete below.

The man was located minutes later near the intersection of Judita Drive and Skyview Drive, where officers began chasing him on foot. The man was arrested a short time later near Magnolia Drive.

Upon investigation, police discovered the man had an active warrant for his arrest issued by the Parma Police Department. He was taken to the station, where he was cited for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

The man was later turned over to Parma police.

Found in the Brunswick Sun Times

Lakewood, OH
A caller heard what sounded like a fight at 1:30 a.m. Sunday, August 12 in a Clifton Boulevard building. Police said there was no fight; however, a woman apparently did yell in pain after hurting herself. It seems that she was putting out Christmas decorations and tripped over one of the boxes.

Found in the Lakewood Sun Post

Chattanooga, TN
Police said a burglary trail at the Cypress Street Courts did not lead far – just next door.

Warrants were filed against Delisia Timmons in the theft of items from her next-door neighbor, Karessa Sanders.

Ms. Sanders said she got a call that her apartment door was open. She said she found that a screen had been damaged and a window was open.

She found that her washing machine, TV, air conditioning unit, a grill, dishes and some food were gone.

Ms. Sanders said neighbors told her she could find the stolen items next door. She said they advised that they saw Ms. Timmons and two others carrying out the washing machine.

Officers said the washing machine was in plain view in Ms. Timmons’ residence and the stolen grill was out front.

Warrants were taken against Ms. Timmons for aggravated burglary, theft over $500 and vandalism.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Atlanta, GA
At an adult-fantasy store on Cheshire Bridge Road, a clerk said he argued with an unsatisfied customer about a vibrator. He said the female customer wanted to return the vibrator; however, the store has a “no return” policy. He said she got mad and argued with him, and then she left and called him and started arguing again. About 10 minutes later, the clerk heard a loud crash outside the store — his scooter was totaled. (The scooter is worth $2,100.) He said the female customer’s companion called him, laughing, and asked, “How he liked that.” Also, the female customer had signed up for a video membership at the adult-fantasy store, using her Georgia driver’s license. A computer check revealed her address on Todd Road, which is about 10 minutes away from the store, the officer noted. The female customer is 32 years old with brown hair.

Found in Creative Loafing

Orange County, CA
Lifeguards requested police assistance Monday afternoon after receiving complaints of indecent exposure regarding a man wearing a “yellow tie-side G-string” bikini bathing suit bottom near Tower No. 4 on the beach. The suit bottom was described as barely covering “the vital areas.”
Police advised the man “about all the families that frequent the pier area” and he “agreed it was probably not the best area for him to be displaying his body” and left.

Found in the Orange County Register