Small Town Misfit

Durango, CO
4:49 p.m. A woman reported a possible kangaroo sighting on the side of the highway in the 38000 block of U.S. Highway 550, near Needles. Animal Control responded and determined the animal to be a deer.

Found in the Durango Herald

Durango, CO
9:59 p.m. A drunken woman went into a martial-arts class at the Smiley Building, 1309 East Third Ave., and tried to start a fight. She left the building on foot.

Found in the Durango Herald

Durango, CO
2:51 p.m., A man was setting off dynamite on the 15th hole of Dalton Ranch golf course to kill gophers. Deputies were unable to make contact with the reporting party.

Found in the Durango Herald

Erie County, PA
Deputies investigated a man who was shot in the leg on Girdle Road. The subject was attempting to shoot a deer that was hit by his vehicle when the bullet ricocheted off the ground at hit the male in the thigh. The subject was taken to the hospital where he received treatment.

Found in Bee News

Goleta Valley, CA
A family returned from a holiday vacation to find their home in complete disarray. While away the week after Christmas, somebody broke into the residence using it as a party pad, causing over $3,300 in damages.

A thorough inventory of items destroyed and stolen during the break-in included cash, a wallet, a scooter, a wine opener, perfume and numerous bottles of alcohol. Damages included a burned dining room chair, a damaged hot tub, a damaged pool cover and a broken fence. In addition to the listed damages, the home and swimming pool required a professional cleaning.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Charleston, SC
Two patrons at a downtown sushi joint found themselves in a verbal dispute with a bar employee over their tab. The bartender allegedly hopped over the bar and began assaulting one of the men, who received bruises on his arms and a large cut on his face.

Found in The Charleston City Paper

Cleveland, OH
A man, 24, was cited for discharging a firearm within city limits after he accidentally shot himself in the testicles with a gun that he tried to tuck into his pants.

The incident happened Nov. 7 on Mayfield Road in South Euclid.

He was taken to University Hospitals. He had a permit to carry a concealed weapon.

Found in the Sun News

Columbia, SC
A 23-year-old woman recently was cussing up a storm at a S.C. Department of Social Services office on Two Notch Road. A DSS caseworker supervisor told her several times to stop swearing, but the woman continued to curse until she finally was asked to leave. The woman then asked if she could borrow a pen to write a (profanity laced) note to her caseworker.

The 23-year-old was still cursing when she threw a pen between two employees who were nice enough to give it to her. At that point an officer put the woman in “escort position.” Finally she said she would leave, but not before complaining that the officer had hurt her arm. As she was leaving the charming young lady told everyone there that she would call her father and then flipped them all off.

Found in the Free Times

Athens, GA
A naked man with his body slathered with petroleum jelly was arrested Tuesday evening after a woman complained he was lurking outside her apartment at Dougherty Commons.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Goleta Valley, CA
Despite an uncooperative suspect and victim, a deputy determined the passenger in the taxicab was too intoxicated to care for his own safety.

The taxi driver, clearly unwilling to drive his verbally and physically aggressive passenger home, remained evasive throughout the investigation. However, he said he was prompted to call authorities at 1:20 a.m. when the passenger apparently “ripped the taxi’s Global Positioning Device from the windshield.”

Arrested for public intoxication in the parking lot of a Calle Real fast food hamburger chain, the 22-year-old UCSB student was transported to jail.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Columbia, SC
On Dec. 23, a 57-year-old man was standing at a crosswalk near Townes Center Place, yelling at traffic. The man crossed the road and punched the rear end of a car, which just happened to be a police officer’s personal vehicle. The officer got out of his car and identified himself to the man, who began apologizing and shaking. The man repeatedly told the cop how sorry he was and, continuing to shake, presented his identification to the officer. A woman who was with the subject stood by and at one point “rudely interrupted, saying: “Who are you!” to the officer. But, apparently because the man had apologized so many times and it was just before Christmas, the officer decided not to arrest him.

Found in the Free Times

Boulder, CO
First claiming paralysis, a 31-year-old male transient suddenly found the restorative powers of being arrested in the early hours of March 7, according to Boulder Police reports. An attending physician at Boulder Community Hospital, 1100 Balsam Ave., told police that the man refused to leave the emergency room after being examined for possible paralysis and a back injury.

Finding neither, the physician told officers, he believed the suspect was attempting to get a prescription for narcotic painkillers. Despite the intervention of a security guard, the doctor said the man continued to yell at hospital staff members about his broken back and threatened to kill the physician. When officers arrived and began to escort the man from the emergency room, the suspect began to thrash about with his arms and legs, further calling into question the amount of paralysis he was suffering, according to reports.

In fact, after being handcuffed, the man rammed his head into a police car, yelling “police brutality,” the arresting officer wrote. The man was booked and held at Boulder County Jail on suspicion of trespassing, obstructing a police officer and resisting arrest.
Found in the Boulder Police Blotter