Small Town Misfit

Columbia, SC
Stop means stop! Police pulled over two men for not stopping at stop signs Feb. 12. A 25-year-old man was blue lighted on Broad River Road. As officers approached to get his license and registration they noticed that he had a mouthful of pot he was trying to eat to prevent them from seeing it. The cops shot him with a Taser stun gun when he did not comply with their requests to step out of his car and spit out the marijuana. The other man, 18, was pulled over near Oxford Commons. He had a pill bottle full of pot in his glove compartment. An officer saw it when the man went to retrieve his registration. And while the officer was moving around the car to get a better look, the 18-year-old grabbed the bottle and tried to hide it between his legs. When that didn’t work he threw the bottle out of the window. Both men were arrested and jailed, mostly for being really, really dumb.

Found in the Free Times

Tracy, CA
10:57 p.m.: A man on the 1200 block of West 11th Street reported that he found black trash bags filled with marijuana while he was sifting through a trash bin, and he wanted to know if Crime Stoppers would give him a reward.

and…

8:57 a.m.: A caller from Hawkins Elementary School, 475 Darlene Lane, said that prescription bottles had been found in a trash bin.

Found in the Tracy Press

Tracy, CA
8:32 a.m.: A woman on the 1100 block of Duncan Drive called to report that in the fall of 1988, she hit her then-11-year-old daughter in the back of the head with a metal object. She didn’t report it then, and she said her daughter suffered no bleeding or medical problems, but felt her daughter never mentally healed and wanted to report it now to “help her heal.”

Found in the Tracy Press

Chattanooga, TN
Katrina Kyner of Camden Street came home to find that a small garden shovel from her yard had been used to pry open her front door.

Drawers in a dresser were ransacked along with a small purse. She is missing a coin collection and a bottle of Crown Royal whisky.

Also taken was her deceased aunt’s identification papers.

Two dogs were at the house, and there is an alarm system. But the burglars were undeterred.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Lake Oswego, OR
On McVey near South Shore, a motorist called police to complain that the sun was shining in his eyes while approaching the intersection.

Found in the Lake Oswego Review

Boston College, MA
11:23 p.m. – Two students were observed carrying a car bumper. Investigation determined they had taken if from an accident scene. They brought the bumper back.

Found in the BCHeights

Athens, GA
A 72-year-old Oakwood Terrace woman looked out her window Thursday evening and saw a naked man hosing himself down outside her house, Athens-Clarke police said.

When the woman called out, the man told her that his friend had dared him to dive into her pond, and that he wanted to rinse off because the water was dirty, according to police.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Goleta Valley, CA
On February 5, a day referred to as Super Tuesday when 24 states hold their primary elections, deputies were called to investigate an act of vandalism. Scrawled across a wall in red spray paint, an Isla Vista apartment manager discovered, “Obama ’08.”
The manager estimates it will cost approximately $400 to remove the paint.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Kalispel, MT
A daycare owner on Shady Lane in Kalispell called in to report that her neighbor had parked their motor home by her driveway and was improperly dumping their waste. The woman was worried about health issues and her daycare.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Goleta Valley, CA
With the pair of Victoria’s Secret panties he was wearing poking out from under his red denim jeans, a shirtless man approached a Kaiser Avenue home, talking gibberish and refusing to leave. The concerned homeowner, who had never seen the young man before, called authorities for help.

Arriving on the scene around 11:30 a.m., deputies located the subject talking to other residents nearby. Behaving oddly and unable to stand still, the 19-year-old was apprehended for further questioning. Explaining how “after years of pain” he was finally “loving himself,” the “frantic” man continued his one-sided dialogue of peace, love and joy.

When asked about trespassing the man replied, “I wouldn’t leave their property until they told me from the bottom of their heart they wanted me to leave.”

Believed to be under the influence of a hallucinogenic, he was arrested and transported to jail for further drug evaluation.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Durango, CO
A man reported that his grandmother was harassing him via text messages, according to a report in the 3900 block of Colorado Highway 151, in southeast La Plata county.

Found in the Durango Herald

Waynesboro, GA
A Waynesboro woman contacted authorities after discovering her husband’s Shrine Club go-kart had been stolen.

According to the report, witnesses saw two unknown young black men remove the go-kart from the woman’s Woodview Lane home, place it on a trailer and then flee. The woman said she was told a third male driver waited in a white Tahoe with tinted windows with a trailer attached to it and a green camouflage fourwheeler on it.

Witnesses said they attempted to follow the men, who were between the ages of 17-21 and wearing hooded shirts, but the driver was speeding and driving recklessly.

The woman said the go-kart is gray with a roll bar and a black and red checkered seat. A removable placard reading “Alee Shrine Temple” is on the rear of the go-kart, the horn is broken and the gas tank is held on by bungee cords.

Found in the True Citizen