Small Town Misfit

Tracy, CA
9:23 a.m.: A caller reported someone drove into the caller’s house, caved in a wall, then drove off from the 2600 block of Balboa Avenue. The car may have had a broken axle, the caller said.

Found in the Tracy Press

Tracy, CA
3:44 a.m.: A caller from a town home on the 300 block of Mt. Oso Avenue reported that a man lit the caller’s roommate’s car on fire. A tow truck took away a Ford Explorer.

Found in the Tracy Press

Goleta Valley, CA
A woman who left $12,000 in cash unattended in her car filed a report of grand theft after the money went missing a few weeks ago. The woman, 37, told authorities the money was last seen in an envelope under her car seat at a Fairview Avenue carwash. The woman admitted leaving the money unattended, and out of view, while the car was being cleaned.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Appleton, WI
A caller reported being concerned about an elderly man living in the 2400 block of Joyce Street after she saw him come out of a house a few times naked and sit on a deer statue in the backyard. Police talked to the man, who denied it. They said he appeared mentally ill and contacted his family. They planned to make a doctor’s appointment for him.

Found in the Post-Crescent

Portsmouth, NH
9:04 p.m. — A South Street caller told police he heard a female scream but would not be available for follow-up calls because he was “getting in the bath tub with his wife.”

Found in Seacoast Online

Goleta Valley, CA
A 54-year old man contacted authorities after $500 worth of gum and soda went missing from his car. The victim told deputies his car was parked on Placer Drive when the merchandise, purchased for his Santa Barbara store, was stolen.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Goleta Valley, CA
Returning home to find his Isla Vista house burglarized, the resident looked outside to find a young man passed out on the front lawn. Checking the downed man’s pockets for identification, the victim came across his own stolen iPod. Apparently, the intoxicated burglar passed out before making it off the property.

The thief, once awakened, began vomiting profusely. Coming to his aid, the victim brought a wastebasket to the ill suspect until, finally, the suspect was able to walk home. It wasn’t until the following day that the victim realized the sick thief had also left with stolen cash in his pocket.

The victim turned over information collected from the suspect’s identification in hopes of locating the suspect and the $91. In a change of heart, having realized the thankless burglar left with stolen property, the victim told authorities he now wished to press charges against the thief.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Columbia, SC
On June 2, officers received a tip about someone selling drugs and beer out of a Pendleton Street home. So an undercover cop watched the location and saw a man go to the side of the residence and buy two beers. Another officer inquired with the beer buyer and he said he purchased it, from a 60-year-old man, because he didn’t feel like walking to a store. That officer then confronted the 60-year-old, who admitted that he had sold the beers — for $1 each (a pretty awesome deal, with sodas available at 50 cents per). The man was given a citation for selling suds without a required beer license.

Found in the Free Times

Atlanta, GA
A garbage fire was burning on Marco Drive. A firefighter said his team responded to the scene and put out the garbage fire, which had spread to the street. The firefighter said once they extinguished the flames, a man walked up and reignited the debris right in front of them. A police officer detained the 57-year-old man. He said he started the fire because he wanted to. He went to jail.

Found in Creative Loafing

Charlotte, NC
A 20-year-old man said a woman he briefly dated has been harassing him. He said over the course of eight days the woman has called him 500 times. He has stopped answering her calls, but she continues to pursue him, letting the calls ring out every time. He said they only dated two weeks, and now he can’t shake her ass.

Found in Creative Loafing

Charlotte, NC
A 27-year-old woman said a man she gave her phone number to has been calling and threatening her for the past several days. She said the man calls saying things like, “I know where you live and I’m going to f*** you up.” He started making the threatening calls the day after she gave him her number. She has no idea why he’s harassing her.

Found in Creative Loafing

Atlanta, GA
A woman said she rented her house on Farrington Avenue to a 19-year-old man from Conyers. She said he stopped paying the rent, so she sent him a letter about the payments. A few days later, she said, she checked on the house, and discovered the phrase “NTL Bitch Bart” spray-painted on the windows and walls. All of the tenant’s belongings were gone. The woman showed police some writing he did in glitter paint, on the bedroom door, before the living arrangements went bad. “To me, the writing looked very similar,” the officer wrote.

Found in Creative Loafing