You Don’t Know Crack
Atlanta, GA
An officer responded to a dispute on Campbell Street. A 41-year-old man said he gave his gold 1997 Mercury Cougar to a man named “Jack” around 2 a.m. He said Jack wanted to go to the BP station and was supposed to return around 4 a.m.
According to the officer’s written report: “I asked, ‘What is Jack’s last name?’ He replied, ‘I don’t know.’ I asked ‘How long have you known him?’ He said, ‘I’ve been knowing him for a while.’ I said, ‘How long?’ He replied, ‘Two months.’”
The officer continued: “I said, ‘So let me get this straight, you gave your vehicle to a person you have known for two months, named Jack with no last name, so he could go [to] the store around 2 a.m. this morning?’ He said, ‘Yeah, that’s right.’ I said, ‘You are missing some parts of the story.’ He said, ‘That’s it, I’ve told you what happened.’”
A few seconds later, the man reportedly said, “I think Jack is his nickname.”
The officer continued: “I said, ‘So now you have given your vehicle to a person that you don’t even know his real name?’ He said, ‘Yeah.’ I said, ‘You are not telling me the whole truth about this incident.’”
Eventually, the man looked down and said, “I sold the car for crack.” Turns out, he doesn’t even own the gold Mercury Cougar … it belongs to a woman.
Found in Creative Loafing

January 30th, 2009 at 7:15 am
Further evidence that cocaine causes stupidity. I sincerely hope the woman presses charges.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:27 am
lmao~ poor woman… has a druggie boyfriend and no car~
January 30th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Hi, this is “Jack”! The car was a lemon… timing-belt broke before I got to the BP station… I’m dialing 911 right now!!! I’ll tell them I need to get the crack back from you, or else…
July 26th, 2009 at 11:53 am
This guy don’t know Jack….
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:28 am
great article thank you.