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Robbed By the Bearded Lady

Goleta Valley, CA
A fraternity brother was asleep in his bedroom in Isla Vista when a woman with a significant amount of facial hair startled him awake at 4 a.m.

“Do you have a cigarette?” the woman asked.

Later that morning and fully awake, the victim contacted authorities about the suspicious visitor adding that three cans of beer and $20 were also missing from his desk.

The young man, a 22-year-old UCSB student, said he was “unsure” if he would recognize the woman again.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

10 Responses to “Robbed By the Bearded Lady”

  1. mike sawyer Says:

    He keeps beer in his desk?

  2. the Patrician Says:

    Well he is a college student after all. Maybe he hasn’t taken “Alcohol Storage 101″ yet.

    Anyway, a lot of European beers are designed to be consumed at room temperature for best taste and even if his missing brew was of the American variety once you down a few it hardly matters! :o)

    It sounds more like he was trying to “pretend” she wasn’t his date for last night’s binge!

  3. RitchWilliams Says:

    Um, guys, I think we’ve found a connection.

    http://www.smalltownmisfit.com/archives/1351

    Remember the lady in the pink underwear with the three empty beer cans? She was from Goleta Valley too. Us amatuer crime watchers don’t believe much in coincidence. I say book’er Dano!

  4. Woodman Says:

    I think I know where the beer really went.

  5. Haze Says:

    “a significant amount of facial hair”

    That was no woman you druken fool.

    “Do you have a cigarette?”

    That explains the sore a$$hole.

  6. GT Says:

    Well maybe it did have something to do with the broad in her underwear at the bus stop! She did have 3 empty cans by her–wonder if she had significant facial hair also?

  7. FORD Says:

    GT, she didnt have significant facial hair. but, she did have a handle-bar moustache!! HA HA HA HA HA!

  8. sly2017 Says:

    The unmentioned fact to this story is that the *lady* was facing away from him when he was “startled” awake……….. ;-)

  9. mike sawyer Says:

    eewwwww….

  10. RitchWilliams Says:

    You know, I’m not a ’21st Century’ man. So sometimes it takes my brain a while to come to a 21st century conclusion.

    That said, it took a while for me to come to THIS conclusion. Here’s the situation; a kid wakes up after a drunken frat party and there’s a ‘woman’ with significant facial hair looking for cigarettes and more beer. Seems the boy may be just trying to rationalize his first homosexual experience. “You know, the guy did look a lot like Billy down the hall.”

    And on a more serious note, if that were the case, do fraternatys have any kind of ‘rules’ regarding homosexuality? I don’t know. I was never in one, but how would they handle the situation? Is it possible that this guy was just trying to cover his butt. ;)

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