The Spellchecker
Rio Grande, NM
2:31 p.m. – A Chimayó man said he wanted to file a report on an incident that happened the week before in which he was humped by two males along the side of the road. Dispatchers later corrected that report. The man said he was jumped, not humped.
Found in the Rio Grande Sun
February 27th, 2006 at 11:05 am
Oh, I don’t know, sounds better as humped.
February 27th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Is there a mountain in the area perhaps? Called Brokeback?
February 27th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Maybe the full report was that he was jumped then humped.
February 27th, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Someone was listening to too much Black eyed peas
February 27th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
“Let’s get this right, sir; you said you were humped by two men along side the road?”
“That’s right, they snuck up behind me, and I didn’t know what was happening until one of them poked me with something hard.”
“Did you see what the–ah–object was that they were using?”
“No, I sure didn’t. All I remember was that one guy poked me,then the other cold cocked me. They had me laid out flat.”
“Did you suffer any injuries? Do you need medical care?”
“No; I don’t remember much after they had me on the ground,and I thought if I didn’t put up a fight they wouldn’t hurt me too bad. Afterwards they kicked me in the rear and took my wallet.”
” Are you sure you’re not hurt? You may have some internal injuries.”
“Nah, this has happened a couple times before. Only thing hurt was my pride. ”
“This has happened before? Why haven’t you reported this previously?”
“Well I guess I should have known better, you know how it is on pay day and the wife sends you out to the Gas-n-Git down the road to pick up some lottery tickets late at night. I guess you just have to take your chances when you go into that neighborhood.”
“But sir! You were brutally assaulted! You should have gone to the emergency room or rape and abuse center!”
February 27th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
“What do you mean rape?’
“Are you saying you weren’t sexually assaulted?”
“If I was, do you think I’d tell YOU?”
February 27th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
Technically, el hombre de chimayo was humped. The Spanish “j” sounds like an “h”, and a Spanish “h” is silent… so he was humped, but not ‘umped. To date, however, there is no known Spanish equivalent for “Brokeback”.
February 28th, 2006 at 8:04 am
LOL
February 28th, 2006 at 10:14 pm
had he been humped rather than jumped, his complaint would have been that they failed to offer him a cigarette with which to enjoy the post-coital “glow.” Therefore, by extension, he MUST have been “J”umped. I oughta know, for I “live on Brokeback Mountain,”; if you catch my drift…
March 1st, 2006 at 7:34 am
Oldewave, you would have enjoyed the moment where, at a recent night out at a Karaoke lounge, two un-sober girls got up and danced while their boyfriends sang (undoubtedly it was “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy). At one point the girls tripped up and fell on top of each other on the floor, and one of the singers, not missing a beat, announced “Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Brokeback Hill.”
June 30th, 2007 at 4:52 am
spanish karaoke…
Hi. Very nice blog. I\’ve been reading your other entries all day long..lol….