Shoplift with Your Knees, Not Your Back
Rio Grande, NM
3:20 p.m. – A man detained for shoplifting a DVD player was complaining of back pain, Wal-Mart reported.
Found in the Rio Grande Sun
Small Town Misfit
A selection of police blots from small-town papers
March 28th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Oh, God. He’ll end up with the DVD player and a liability suit windfall.
March 28th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
He probably hurt his back when his polyester pants slipped on the seat of his motorized shopping cart,causing him to fall off the seat and lose the DVD player he had hidden under his stretched-out NASCAR muscle shirt. To add to his injury, he fell directly in the path of a shopping cart full of cases of Sam’s soda.frozen corn dogs,and canned chili pushed by a 300 lb woman with a bleached mullet, wearing a maroon sweat suit, yelling into a cell phone and swatting her two snotty nosed toddlers with her purse the size of a small third world country. Which, by coincidence, is where the DVD player was assembled.
March 28th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
Love the description Berlincoln….LMAO…..SO TRUE I CAN JUST PICTURE IT!
March 28th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
ROFL……..That is quite a visual…..
March 28th, 2006 at 2:55 pm
Thanks, Berlincoln, for reminding me why I avoid wal-mart in the first place…
March 28th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
Berlincoln, that was inspired.
March 28th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
So, Ber…have you spent much time at Wal-Mart?
Let me re-phrase that….have you spent any time at Wal-Mart that were positive?
(nah - me neither)
March 28th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
Let it be known that I hate Walmart. Not every Walmart, I’m sure, is as bad as in my city. My husband doesn’t mind shopping there. He can turn a blind eye and deaf ear to the sights and sounds of bottom-feeders that congregate there. I don’t know how many times I had to just walk out while we were shopping to avoid a meltdown and start screaming at the woman with a cart load of crying kids blocking the aisle with her cart full of junk food–and her two-axe-handles-wide ass. Or the jerks who think nothing of cutting in front of someone because their friends are holding a spot for them in front of you in the checkout line. Or people screaming and slapping their kids for crying, when you KNOW those kids should be home–or somewhere better–taking a nap. Give me Target anytime. Oh, and another thing: Walmart prices aren’t that great. It’s just that you can get everything you need in one place.
March 28th, 2006 at 5:11 pm
Oh, and I’m no elitist snob. I come from a VERY large family (12 children), but my mother had the sense,class, and dignity to rarely,if ever, take us shopping with her. I’m sure some of these people have no other choice but to take their kids with them when they shop, but there’s no excuse for treating them likd sh*t in public. I’d have CPS waiting outside Walmart with a bus, if I had my way.
March 28th, 2006 at 5:25 pm
Yes! Yes! I loved your diatribe, and I agree with you completely, Ber — you’re truly a woman after my own heart. You know that the “Wal” in WalMart stands for Wide-assed loser, right?
March 28th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
I’m going to have to find more walmart blots.
By the way, coming soon: a police blotter submission form.
March 28th, 2006 at 6:25 pm
Travis, I bet you have one helluva great time reading us regulars! I can see you now….”Um, let me see. Which one of these will get xxxxx going?” Almost like the man behind the curtain in Oz!!!
March 28th, 2006 at 6:30 pm
LOL Leah! Blood sisters, for sure!!
March 28th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
I’m sorry, I have to add this. At least the women screaming at their kids are watching them (I prefer to shop when mine are all at school). Mu mother worked at a Walmart, you would not believe how many people drop their kids off in the toy dept and shop. CPS needs to moonlight as a toy dept employee—they would get a lot of deserted toddlers!
March 28th, 2006 at 7:56 pm
amen, Nightmare!
March 28th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
I do have to say though, if there was ever a place to kill time while on mind altering substances, wal-mart provides some of the most classic entertainment around. at least it has that goin for it.
March 28th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
it is our sunday morning service, Walmart….uuuuhhhhhhhhhh
March 28th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
I also hate WalMart for all of the above reasons listed and a few of my own that I will not go into……Hell when I used to shop there I would start cussing and my blood pressure would rise to stroke zone when I pulled into the parking lot, what little bit I did save just was’nt worth it.
March 29th, 2006 at 1:34 am
gdfunkrr, I think i get more entertainment out of the comments than the blots!
Oddly enough, I found myself making a midnight run to Walmart tonight to buy some desperately needed plumbing parts. Wow, I dislike that place.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:50 am
You must have missed your cut on that stolen load of plumbing supplies, eh Travis?
March 29th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
Sad to say jenfr01, you are problably right. If a man can sue mcdonalds for spilling a cup of hot coffee (that you know is hot) on yourself and blame mcdonalds for not putting a warning label on the cup and win. This guy has it made. The dvd player didnt have a warning label saying bend at your knees before lifting. I’m suing!
March 29th, 2006 at 4:09 pm
I hardly ever take my son who is 4yrs old shopping with me, because i know how anoying it can be trying to shop while someone’s child is screaming his orr her head off. I like Wal-Mart but always find myself fustrated at the fact i have trouble finding a parking spot. I like to get my shopping done quickly, fet in and get out! that’s just me of course>>
March 29th, 2006 at 7:08 pm
oooo Don’t EVEN get me started on the lack of parking at Walmart! There’s always some a-hole holding up traffic waiting to get a parking space that probably won’t empty for 15 minutes because the owner of the car is unloading her cart full of junk food and cheap toilet paper AND yelling on her cell phone…and her kids taunting her by not getting inside.
March 29th, 2006 at 7:09 pm
ooops look like I got MYSELF started there. Sorry.
March 30th, 2006 at 8:32 am
Another thing about Wal mart the STUPID lines to check out!!! They never have enough people. Plus all the above mentioned makes a day of shopping at walmart the worst possible experience I know.
March 30th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
ooooo…and those so called “Self Check Out” lines. There should be a sign saying ” Your IQ must be *this* high to use this service”. There’s always someone in line with a full cart, and is staring stupidly at the screen when it asks for them to enter the first three letters of the item that doesn’t have a bar code. Then they have to go through 3 or more credit cards to find one with enough $$ on it to cover the purchase. Then they decide they don’t want to buy that $39 piece of crap dvd player, and have to have a clerk come over and override the purchase. By then, I’m sorely tempted to leave the store and slash the tires on the nearest rusty cargo van.
June 29th, 2007 at 8:18 pm
shopping cart cover…
Hi. Very nice blog. I\’ve been reading your other entries all day long..lol….
May 22nd, 2008 at 8:36 am
What an amateur. Can’t even steal a DVD-player? LMAO!