Willy Set Me Up
Gresham, OR
Police arrested Robert Dale Wood, 43, of Portland, on charges of first-degree attempted theft, first-degree forgery and identity theft at a bank in the 400 block of Northwest Burnside Road at 4:20 p.m. Thursday, March 23, according to a police report.
The man tried to pass a forged check for $922.37, but a teller noticed that it was written on an account closed due to fraudulent activity the week before and called the police. Officers contacted the man, who said “Willy,†a man he met in jail, gave him the check. The suspect knew the check was fake but didn’t think he’d get caught. He also told police that he was in jail for a similar crime, but that he was really trying to straighten out his life and couldn’t believe he’d screwed up again.
Found in the Gresham Outlook
April 20th, 2006 at 11:58 pm
Oh, for god’s sake!!! This guy is pitiful — he’s worse than pitiful; he’s pathetic!!! This is just… it’s… he’s… words elude me… >:-|
April 21st, 2006 at 1:06 am
… not the sharpest tool in the shed Leah?
April 21st, 2006 at 1:15 am
Head Start gave him a real goooooood beginning in life. You cant believe that some people really are that stupid. Then something like this comes along that just down right verifys it! Just feel glad that THAT is not YOUR RELATIVE. He is a few bricks short. Hopefully he will learn to NOT drop his soap in the shower for a few years. lol.
11:30 Pacific time, gotta get some sleep, Tomorrow people.
goodnight,** ((poof))**
April 21st, 2006 at 1:22 am
Me thinks his elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top (no) ……. the lights are on but no one is home (no) ……. he’s about a half a peanut butter sandwich shy of a plateful (nah) ……… his loaded dice are set on snake eyes (no) ………… his brain cell is dying of loneliness (still not right) ………… (I know!) His train of thought lost its freight. (Yeah, THAT’S the ticket!!)
Maybe this guys motto should be, “If stupidity got me into this, why can’t it get me out?”
April 21st, 2006 at 5:20 am
Probably one of thse people who has spent so much time in jail it seems like home. It is not unheard of for such people to commit a petty crime in the fall in hopes of a six month sentence and a warm place to sleep with three meals a day. That doesn’t explain why he’d pull this in the spring though, maybe it takes six months from arraignment to sentence there? And sly, I think his “train” of thought might just be a handcar.
April 21st, 2006 at 6:18 am
how about his gene pool was more like a puddle! one card shy of a full deck? the fridge door is open but the light is not on?
April 21st, 2006 at 6:43 am
Yeah, everything you all just said…LOL
April 21st, 2006 at 8:00 am
Amazing how remorseful you can be when you’re BUSTED!
April 21st, 2006 at 8:12 am
“Well, at least he took the first step in the 12 step program and admitted that he is stupid. Hopefully, he can now get some help from various government assistance programs that are available and become a real valuable member of our contributing society.” - Teddy Kennedy
April 21st, 2006 at 8:13 am
RIGHT, Teddy. Are you sure you weren’t under water for a little bit longer than you thought?
April 21st, 2006 at 8:57 am
Oh, I like the gene pool one, nan. LOL
April 21st, 2006 at 9:56 am
Yeah, what you all said — good ones, guys…
…around here, we’d say “he ain’t got all his oars in the water.”
April 21st, 2006 at 11:06 am
…This guy has the classic case of stuck on stupid and waiting on dumb!!!What a total loser!!!
April 21st, 2006 at 6:16 pm
lol, thanks sly
April 22nd, 2006 at 6:06 pm
One fish short of full string? Riding the short bus? A Walmart Greeter reject?
April 24th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
not the brightest crayon in the box?
a few fries short of a happy meal?
couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel?