The Preacher’s Posterior
Grass Valley, CA
At 2:46 p.m., a caller from the 30900 block of Relief Hill Road reported a naked man in the middle of the roadway yelling religious remarks. A deputy found the man near the Pine Aire Campground, and the man’s girlfriend took him home.
Found in the Union
May 11th, 2006 at 10:04 am
“My staff and my rod will come for thee!!!”
“Let him who is without sin cast their eyes first on my bone!!!”
“I turn the other cheek as I walk in the Valley of Grass!!!”
“Fear not, for I am freezing, and present but a small threat!!!”
“Officer… why is your coat of many colors dripping like that?!? Behold the colors at thy feet!!! That’s like, so… f**cking… awesome!!!”
“…Anybody seen the bridge?”
May 11th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
leah, you really should be more careful when trolling for “supplies”
May 11th, 2006 at 1:10 pm
Maybe he was just drinking some cheap communion wine and his cup runneth over ?
May 11th, 2006 at 1:27 pm
Ahhh… There’s nothing like a naked jesus freak to make you appreciate the rustic charm of a campground.
May 11th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
“R-e-l-i-e-f Hill Road” Maybe he was in search of a new way to spell it. I am sure his psychiatrist spells it L-i-t-h-i-u-m or H-a-l-d-o-l or T-h-o-r-a-z-i-n-e.
May 11th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Those were excerpts from the new book I’m working on, nightmare, about armchair Christians. It’s entitled “Chairway To Heaven”. The last entry was an almost allusive reference to the Holy Fathers of Heavy Metal. My observations therein may be satirical, but the story behind the story, well…
May 11th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
Leah, you are brilliant!! LOL
May 11th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
he WAS in GRASS VALLEY, was he not?
May 11th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
leah, sounds cool, let us know when it comes out
May 11th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
Yep the nuts are falling out of the trees in grass valley again
May 12th, 2006 at 12:26 am
Well, if the nuts are falling out of the trees, then it MUST be “harvest” season in Grass Valley.
^5, leah. That was truly inspiring. I bow to the “Master” - (and never mind my hand reaching under your couch …. no, I don’t see your stash … I’m, um…..killing a spider, yyyyyeah, THAT’S the ticket!)
May 12th, 2006 at 5:42 am
Careful, sly, I hear there’s a loaded Winchester around there somewhere….
May 12th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
The spiders under my couch might be loaded by now, but Betsy the Winchester stays in plain sight - and in easy reach… you never know when sly hands’ll come a-crawlin’.
May 12th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
Good one leahmarie! you should be a proffesional writer. I see the fine people of Grass Valley are at it again, the folks from their neve cease to amaze me on how nutty people can be…
May 12th, 2006 at 5:13 pm
oops , never
May 12th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
for future referance stay away from the BROWN ACID!!!!
May 12th, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Oh, this is such great fun to come back to! Leah - you’re satirical quotes from the Good Book are wonderful and, oh so, appropo for this misfit. Can I get an “Amen-a”!
May 12th, 2006 at 11:25 pm
Welcome back, gdfunkrr! And thanks, y’all… I’m touched — at least that’s what my girlfriend keeps telling me…
May 12th, 2006 at 11:44 pm
“Amen!”