Here’s Johnny!
Chico, CA
1:59 a.m. Suspicious subject reported on the 1300 block of East Lassen Avenue. “Subject walking along the street carrying a double-headed ax and yelling.”
Found in the Orion Online
Small Town Misfit
A selection of police blots from small-town papers
May 26th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
“There can be ONLY ONE!!!”
May 26th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Hey, chico, I only want to trim your hedges
May 27th, 2006 at 5:37 am
Carrying a double bladed axe down the street and yelling? At 2 am? Nothing suspicious here.
May 27th, 2006 at 9:19 am
“Let’s take him to see the Wizard. Maybe he can give him a heart! “
May 27th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
Hey, sly..JINX, you owe me a beer
May 28th, 2006 at 9:52 am
You got it nightmare, meet me at the Road Kill Kafe, we’ll have the special, too.
May 28th, 2006 at 10:01 am
Paul Bunion looking for his Blue OX Babe ….. BAAAABE ….
May 28th, 2006 at 3:08 pm
What was he yelling, Here kitty kitty kitty? Must have had a bad day at work.
May 29th, 2006 at 8:17 am
Reminds me of a story about my Grandfather, famous for his short temper and low tolerance for just about anyone other than himself, out on the farm. One day a traveling salesman came up to the farmhouse looking for my grandfather. My grandmother told the salesman, “He’s out in the tool shed, but I have to warn you, he doesn’t particularly care for strangers interrupting his work.” The salesman insisted on speaking to him, and she tried to gently convince him it wouldn’t be in his best interest to bother him. Just then, Grandpa, unaware there was a salesman looking for him, came out of the tool shed, examining the sharp edge of the axe he had just sharpened, then started toward the house to finish chopping some wood. The salesman took one look at him, ran to his car and took off like a shot. Word got around that Grandpa had chased a salesman off his place with an axe, and he didn’t have many salesmen or peddlers coming around after that.
May 29th, 2006 at 10:32 am
I wonder, Ber, would that work equally as well with Jehovah’s Witnesses?
May 29th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
Good story Ber..LMAO. We live out in the country on a farm, that kind of sounds like an old neighbor we used to have!
May 29th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
My Grandpa was the person whose bite was just as bad as his bark.
June 1st, 2006 at 12:36 pm
You wanna know how to get rid of them there Witnesses? When you see ‘em coming, pick up a bloody knife and answer the door. Then shout out, “Honey, we got some more sacrifices fer Satan!” It worked the last time I tried it. Ain’t seen any since!