Call Your Grandmother
Columbia, SC
A 75-year-old woman complained May 25 that another woman has been calling and leaving obscene messages on her telephone. One of the messages said that “her son wanted to have sex with her,” and then, according to a police officer who listened to it, the message got “very x-rated.” The cop helped the woman hook up a recorder to record additional messages, should the woman call back.
Found in the Free Times

June 26th, 2006 at 11:57 pm
What, she’s not flattered that she can still inspire lust in a younger man? I can’t help but wonder if the cop wants the recordings for his personal collection, or perhaps for resale? Yes, I know that’s sick, twisted, and wrong. But then again so am I.
June 27th, 2006 at 4:44 am
The caller was 95 years old, her son 70, and she was trying to get the “victim” to take the bait and get that slacker son out of her house. Probably been living at home with mommy since the 60’s, brain fried from too much acid and listening to Jefferson Airplane. (Just happen to know one loser about that age, still “suffering” from the effects of injuries incurred in Viet Nam–injuries to his back from caused by falling down drunk in the latrine. His mom died before she could find anyone to take him off her hands.)
June 27th, 2006 at 8:00 am
I’m confused. Who’s son? Wanting to have sex with whom? There are only about 6 different ways to spin this…and none of them leave very erotic images in my head.
June 27th, 2006 at 8:04 am
Somehow Columbia, SC doesn’t seem like a small town. Anyway, the recording will provide many hours of future entertainment. If you want to catch the caller, however, wouldn’t caller ID be a better approach?
June 27th, 2006 at 8:08 am
Hi. This is Mildred. I can’t come to the phone right now. If you want to leave an endearing message for a sweet old lady, press 1. If you would like to leave an erotic sex message which reminds me of my late husband Morty, press 2. Beep.
June 27th, 2006 at 11:17 am
Whenever I got an obscene phone call (in the days before caller ID), I’d make them go away by playing along. They’d say that they wanted to “[blank] me, and [blank] my [blank]“, or whatever, and I’d say “Cool… come on over! And bring your favorite toy with you… Hello? Hello? Hell-o-o?” Worked every time.
June 27th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
That’s because everytime I would try, you moved your boat. Do you have any idea how many strange looks I got standing on the docks with my “toy” box hollering out your name?
June 27th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
too funny! can I watch?
June 27th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
They told that there was a guy, swinging some sort of hose, on the dock looking for me… that was you, sly? Sorry I missed you — I had to strand my boat on a sandbar, about a quarter mile down the channel, so I could untangle a crab-pot from my prop. Maybe next time… and nan, you get first watch, k? After that, everyone takes turns.
June 28th, 2006 at 11:36 am
Did the cops get a court order to allow for her to record the calls?
If not, inadmissible evidence. Dumb cops …..
June 28th, 2006 at 11:53 am
That was no hose, leah…………