Small Town Misfit

Erie County, NY
A woman reports her children believe they saw a gorilla in the vicinity of Oakgrove Drive.

Found in the Bee News

Chadron, NE
8:27 p.m. Caller from the 400 block of North Mears advised there was a skunk on her front porch eating cat food. Caller requesting an officer.

Found in the Chadron Record

Chadron, NE
1:14 p.m. Caller from the 200 block of Morehead St. advised he bought a bear claw from the above location and it had a capsule inside of it. Caller stated he took it back to the store and they acted like it was no big deal. Caller requesting to talk to an officer.

Found in the Chadron Record

Huntington Beach, CA
A caller reported at 8:50 p.m. Saturday that two women were “throwing televisions” or computers and beating them with a “police officer stick” in the 6200 block of Warner Avenue.

One woman, who was wearing only an orange shirt and underwear, “kept pulling down her bottoms.” The other woman was wearing an orange shirt, a black “cape,” an orange boa and deer antlers on her head.

Police responded and found that the women were trying to smash their own television and that no crime had been committed.

Found in the Orange County Register

Tacoma, WA
A Tacoma, Washington man was recently charged with numerous hunting violations for a May 2006 illegal bear hunt near Ketchikan, troopers said. The man, along with six others, videotaped the hunt with the intention of editing it and selling copies. Here’s the problem: The tape shows them violating state game laws, including taking big game from a boat and taking black bear at an illegal bait site.

In fact, making the video itself is a crime, because the U.S. Forest Service requires permits for commercially produced videos filmed on Forest Service land. Wildlife troopers, Forest Service agents and Washington Game and Fish officers seized two black bears and several thousand DVDs packaged for sale, troopers said. They also found a stolen vehicle in the man’s garage and unedited tapes that showed more hunting violations.

Found in the Anchorage Press

Erie County, NY
A woman reportedly left her purse in her unlocked vehicle as she used a restroom in Ellicott Creek Park. After she returned to her vehicle and drove away, she realized her purse was missing. When she returned to the park later that evening she was chased away by skunks.

Found in the Bee News

Goleta Valley, CA
Amid an unruly crowd of bar patrons outside a Calle Real drinking establishment, a 21-year-old female was arrested for “willfully teasing” a deputy’s canine. The woman, who claims she was simply “blowing kisses” at the pooch, had been told twice to discontinue the affectionate distraction agitating the dog.

Through tears, during her arrest, the emotional university student yelled, “I was only blowing kisses at the dog.”

After transporting the subject to Santa Barbara County Jail, according to the report, the arresting deputy was informed by custody personnel that the woman’s offense was not “bookable within the Santa Barbara jail facility.” As a result, the subject was issued a citation and released from detention just before 3:30 a.m.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Chadron, NE
12:18 a.m. Caller from the 1100 block of Second St. in Crawford advised there was a male walking on Highway 20 near the above location with only a T-shirt on.

4:53 a.m. Caller from the 100 block of West Second St. requested officers at the above location because there were kids on the roof.

11:43 a.m. Caller from the 500 block of Main St. advised someone had smeared nacho cheese all over the windshield of her van.

5:36 p.m. Caller from the 200 block of Morehead advised that a juvenile at the above location was hitting a dog with a hose.

Found in the Chadron Record

Painesville, OH
A judge known for giving unusual sentences has ordered three men who pleaded guilty to soliciting sex to take turns dressing in a bright yellow chicken costume.

Painesville Municipal Judge Michael Cicconetti agreed to suspend a 30-day jail sentence if they wear the costume between 4 and 7 p.m. Friday outside the court while carrying a sign that reads “No Chicken Ranch in Painesville.”

The sign and costume refer to the “World Famous Chicken Ranch,” a prostitution house in Nevada where sex-for-money is legal.

Daniel Chapdelaine, 40, of Perry Township; Martin Soto, 44, of Ashtabula; and Fabian Rodriguez-Ramirez, 29, of Painesville, solicited sex from an undercover Painesville police officer earlier this summer.

Cicconetti has been known to use barnyard animals to dispense justice in the past.

He ordered a man who called a policeman a pig to stand next to a live pig in a pen and hold a sign that read “This Is Not a Police Officer.”

A couple who stole a baby Jesus statue from a manger were sentenced to dress as Mary and Joseph and walk with a donkey.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Rio Grande, NM
12:18 p.m. — An anonymous caller asked that police speak to subjects in a neighboring mobile home about their noisy peacocks. No report was taken.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Grass Valley, CA
At 2:03 p.m., a caller from the 16000 block of Duggans Road reported that a neighbor threatened to turn him in for having horses running loose on his property and threatened to drive her car into a horse and kill it if she saw one on the road. Before leaving, she threw rocks at the caller and swerved her car toward some horses.

And…

At 8:38 p.m., a caller from Robin Avenue reported that a man stood outside of his parked truck urinating and exposing himself to the public. Deputies advised the man to use a bathroom.

And…
At 8:58 p.m., a caller from a business on the 100 block of Neal Street reported that a man asked for a free sandwich and made a scene when he was denied.

And…

At 9:13 p.m., a caller from Nevada Street reported that a man driving a dark Honda sedan stopped his car in the middle of the street, got out and lit something on fire.

Found in the Union

Erie County, NY
A one-legged turkey was reportedly in the middle of Willow Ridge Drive. The complainant said the bird was unable to move to the side, but it chased the patrol car that responded.

Found in the Bee News