Small Town Misfit

Charlotte, NC
A 32-year-old man and one of his lady friends got into an argument that didn’t end well, at least for him. The man said the woman assaulted him by biting and punching him. The man ended up with scratches all over his body and teeth marks on his fingers, left chest area and forehead.

Found in Creative Loafing

San Jose, CA
Is it me, or does this police blotter read like a script for the Twilight Zone?

• An intoxicated 21-year-old man “who decided to break some trees” was arrested.
• A person was driving recklessly in the parking lot at the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints.
• A resident found bones on the side of her driveway.
• A person in a suspicious vehicle with two others hid his face from a person who observed them.
• A person was sleeping in a truck with something resembling a rifle displayed in the rear window.
• A person at Little River Park told police a dog secured to a tree was pulling so hard it was about to break and that a young child in the same area was throwing dirt at passing cars.
• Six handguns were stolen from a residence by someone who entered through a rear window.
• A parent reported being concerned that a neighbor was taking pictures of his children while they were playing in the yard.
• A man on crutches with black cat in his backpack was reported to be yelling at people passing by the library.

Found in the San Jose Mercury News

Garfield Heights, OH
Four women were caught shoplifting at Kmart May 14.

While the officer was securing them, one drove off in a car with two small children in the backseat in child safety seats. The police didn’t pursue her because of the two small children and the fact that the she had arrived with one of the detained women.

The problem is one of the children belonged to the other woman and the two had only met the day before. She didn’t even know where the other woman lived.

The police put out an “Amber Alert” after searching for her at several addresses. At each location, they informed the owners that if the child turns up to call the police immediately. That night the woman dropped off the child at a house on East 114th Street. The owner said he didn’t see who dropped off the little girl but spoke with a man in contact with the woman. The officers took the child back to the station and she will be taken to the Department of Child and Family Services.

The next day the woman called the police and said she didn’t steal anything and that the other woman had put her child into her car. She said she left because the police said they would contact 696-KIDS because she was shoplifting with her child.

The officer explained she had two warrants out for her arrest and other charges may be filed after the prosecutor reviews her case. At that point, the woman’s sister got on the phone and said the woman would turn herself in the next day.

The woman did turn herself in and was charged with theft, obstructing justice, falsification and kidnapping.

Found in the Garfield-Maple Sun

Columbia, SC
An officer was patrolling around Piedmont Avenue on April 25 when he heard someone holler “you are going to school” and then someone say something back to the yeller. The cop walked over to the house where he heard the commotion coming from and found a father and his 17-year-old son arguing. The father told the officer that he is tired of his son sitting around not going to school. The son asserted that he “isn’t doing a damn thing” and if his father puts a hand on him he’s “going to jump him.” The officer told the son to go to his room but instead the teenager started cursing out his father. The officer told him not to do that again. But the boy swore at his father again as he was walking into his room. So the officer arrested him and took him to jail for disorderly conduct.

Found in the Free Times

Atlanta, GA
At City Hall East, an officer saw a man wheeling a Home Depot shopping cart filled with stuff. “He was coming down a ramp that leads to secured parking for police vehicles,” the officer noted. The man’s shopping cart contained two police radios that belong in squad cars, copper wiring used to wire police cars and an air hose. The officer asked: “Why are you here and where did you get this stuff?” The man said he’d gotten the items from a Dumpster.

The officer wrote, “The items came from the fenced area that is behind the city shop. There is no large dumpster there. The police radios and wire had been taken out of police cars that were being worked on.” The man, age 54, was arrested. His shopping cart was returned to the Home Depot across the street from City Hall East.

Found in Creative Loafing

Westlake, OH
Police were called to a wedding reception at 11 p.m. Saturday on reports of an overly intoxicated guest.

Police arrived to find a 24-year-old Parma woman, who apparently assaulted another guest by punching her.

The woman was arrested and proceeded to kick, pinch and spit at officer while being booked.

Found in the Sun News

Fairview Park, OH
An officer watching traffic on Interstate 480 westbound on April 15 could barely believe his eyes as a car approached him traveling 83 miles per hour in the median berm.

The officer quickly jumped over the median wall, thinking that the car would strike him, but the car managed to avoid him and sped off.

Police chased the car for several miles as it swerved around the road, using medians, berms and even off-roading onto the grass at times.

The pursuing officer pulled alongside the vehicle at one point, and the driver simply waved at him to go away.

The dirver finally lost control of the car in North Ridgeville, where officers boxed him in.

The driver nearly struck a North Ridgeville officer while trying to escape.

He was arrested for felony assault on a police officer in North Ridgeville and will also face felony fleeing charges.

Found in the Sun News

Batavia, OH
A bridesmaid on her way to her sister’s wedding got sidetracked Sunday to the Clermont County jail after she was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs while her two young children were in the backseat, jail officials said.

Jennifer Wheeler, 28, is held this morning at the jail without bond until she appears at 10 a.m. before Clermont County Municipal Court Judge Gregory Chapman, court records show.

She arrived at the jail about 4:20 p.m. Sunday in a yellow bridesmaid dress, jail officials said this morning.

Ohio State Highway Patrol Trooper Bob Rose charged her with driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol on Bauer Road in Batavia, child endangering and drug possession, records show. She also is accused of operating a motor vehicle without a driver’s license and operating a vehicle without reasonable control.

Then, she was charged with drug possession and bringing illegal items onto jail grounds after guards found Xanax pills on her, officials said.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Richland, PA
David Cawley, 18, of Iroquois Avenue in McCandless waived a hearing March 28 on a charge of simple assault. Northern Regional police said that on March 19, Cawley, who was naked, jumped head-first into the open window of an officer’s patrol car in the 5600 block of Community Center Drive. Police said he injured the officer and two paramedics when taken into custody.

Found in the Pittsburgh Tribune Review

Parma, OH
A Parma Heights woman was arrested for trying to assault a police officer by running him over with her car.

Christine Tryon, 48, was charged with felonious assault, felony fleeing, resisting arrest, reckless operation and drunken driving. She hit two police cruisers when she was approached by officers about 1 a.m. March 21 at Goodtime Charlie’s, 5771 Pearl Road.

A bar employee called police because the woman was unruly while inside the tavern. When police got to the scene, they found Tryon in her car with the music turned up very loud. She refused to get out of the car and ran it into two police cruisers. She then left the parking lot and tried to run over an officer who was telling her to stop, according a report.

Police chased after the woman who eventually crashed her car in Parma Heights. She struggled with police while being arrested and again at the city jail where she had to be restrained.

Found in the Parma Sun Post

Jefferson, GA
A Gillsville man caught with a handgun at the Jackson County Courthouse tried to talk his way out of trouble, explaining he is a member of the “Freedom World” and doesn’t have to follow laws that would stop people from carrying a handgun into a courthouse.

He was charged him with carrying a deadly weapon at a public gathering after he brought the handgun in a briefcase to the courthouse.

He told authorities he was at the courthouse to see a judge about probation, but authorities couldn’t find any proof that he was on probation.

Deputies also impounded his pickup truck, which did not have a government-issued license plate but a tag purportedly explaining why he is exempt from state law. It displays his name in bold red letters, as well as an address and telephone number in smaller type, and cites specific state laws as proof of his rights to travel and to private property.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Waynesboro, GA
A Sardis woman and her son were arrested after the family lashed out at deputies with a colorful array of curse words at the Cotton Gin Food Market.

When deputies initially tried to speak to Kody Burke, 18, who was observed avoiding a road block, he said “they can’t (expletive) touch me.”

His juvenile brother then angrily approached deputies, yelling “Y’all ain’t gonna (expletive) with my brother. What the (expletive) did he do?”

Their mother, Krystal Jackson, 36, joined in, saying, “(Expletive) this (expletive).” When deputies warned her of her language, she continued, “Y’all ain’t gonna do a (expletive) thing to my son. He can do any (expletive) thing he wants to.”

When deputies proceeded to take Jackson into custody, Burke screamed, “Y’all better not do anything to my mother-(expletive) momma.”

Both mother and son were charged with disorderly conduct.

Found in the True Citizen