Small Town Misfit

Clifton Heights, OH
Residents of a Clifton Heights house got a surprise Monday when they got home – a stranger asleep on their couch.
Mark Brown, 47, who told police he is homeless, was arrested and charged with burglary.
Police said Brown broke into the home in the 2300 block of Sauer Avenue and then laid down on the couch in the front room to take a nap.

That’s what he was doing when the homeowners returned.

Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Nadine Allen set Brown’s bond today at $5,000.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Chicago, IL
Police said the suspect was yelling and throwing lawn furniture at other residents of a building on the 4100 block of North Sheridan when the officer asked him what he was doing. The offender lunged at the officer, who subdued the offender who later admitted being on prescription drugs. Asked why he tried to attack the police officer, the offender said “that’s the way I roll.”

Found in Everyblock Chicago

Erie County, NY
An officer was on Mill Road searching for two brothers with warrants out for their arrest. He spotted one of the suspect’s vehicles and attempted to pull it over, but the driver did not stop. The vehicle pulled into a driveway and one of the suspects exited. He told the officer his license was in his house. The officer told the suspect he had a warrant for his arrest and to put down his beer and put his hands behind his back. The suspect said, “Let me put my beer inside.” The suspect struggled with the officer, but was placed under arrest. Police located the second suspect hiding in a basement cabinet.

Found in Bee News

Durango, CO
9:59 p.m. A drunken woman went into a martial-arts class at the Smiley Building, 1309 East Third Ave., and tried to start a fight. She left the building on foot.

Found in the Durango Herald

Boulder, CO
First claiming paralysis, a 31-year-old male transient suddenly found the restorative powers of being arrested in the early hours of March 7, according to Boulder Police reports. An attending physician at Boulder Community Hospital, 1100 Balsam Ave., told police that the man refused to leave the emergency room after being examined for possible paralysis and a back injury.

Finding neither, the physician told officers, he believed the suspect was attempting to get a prescription for narcotic painkillers. Despite the intervention of a security guard, the doctor said the man continued to yell at hospital staff members about his broken back and threatened to kill the physician. When officers arrived and began to escort the man from the emergency room, the suspect began to thrash about with his arms and legs, further calling into question the amount of paralysis he was suffering, according to reports.

In fact, after being handcuffed, the man rammed his head into a police car, yelling “police brutality,” the arresting officer wrote. The man was booked and held at Boulder County Jail on suspicion of trespassing, obstructing a police officer and resisting arrest.
Found in the Boulder Police Blotter

Rio Grande, NM
2:10 a.m. — A Santa Clara Apartments caller requested an ambulance for someone experiencing an overdose of alcohol. The caller advised dispatchers to “just hurry the (expletive) up.” The line went dead before more information could be obtained, so dispatch called the number back, and the woman answered, “(expletive) you, hurry up.” An officer followed the ambulance to the Española Hospital because the woman had an active warrant and was “getting out of hand.” After doctors gave her a medical clearance, the woman was transported to the Española Jail for her warrant.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Atlanta, GA
An officer was patrolling Springdale Road. He said a man came up to his patrol car and said, “Boo!” The officer asked: “Do you have any illegal drugs on you?” “No,” the man said. The officer asked: “Can I search you?” “Yes,” the man said. So the officer searched him and found .4 grams of suspected marijuana in the man’s pocket. The man, age 24, went to jail.

Found in Creative Loafing

Panama City, FL
A woman traveling the wrong way on State 77 nearly ran over a Bay County Sheriff’s Office deputy.

The deputy had to take “evasive action” to avoid getting hit. After a pursuit that lasted about a mile and a half, the woman pulled over near Southport Elementary School.

As the deputy approached, she noted the distinct smell of alcohol emanating from the woman’s vehicle. The woman asked the deputy why she had pulled her over, and the deputy informed the woman that she been traveling south in the northbound lanes of State 77.

“Well, I’m not from around here,” the woman replied, according to police records. “I don’t know which way these roads go.”

The woman, who told deputies she lives in Chipley, was charged with driving under the influence and possession of alcohol by someone under 21.

Found in the News Herald

Columbia, SC
At the Richland County Sheriff’s Department headquarters on Two Notch Road there is a restaurant/store. On Nov. 5 a 55-year-old woman said she saw one of her employees at the store, a 26-year-old man, place two candy bars in his jacket pocket and walk out without paying for them. Deputies were called in (from about 20 feet away) and on their way to the store two of them saw the thief trying to get onto an elevator. They also saw the candy bars in his pocket. He was arrested.

Found in the Free Times

Tipp City, OH
After a caller witnessed several young people (one in a vehicle and six in a truck) verbally arguing while at a gas pump on Main Street, officers arrived and cited several individuals.
One of the individuals was issued further felony charges for allegedly attempting to bust the cruiser window with his head.

Found in the Tipp City Independent Voice

Goleta Valley, CA
“Get me out of here,” begged the USC student arrested in Isla Vista for public intoxication, “I’ll pay you 100 bucks, just get me out of here.”

Deputies apprehended the guy on Del Playa Drive after finding him stumbling alone after midnight. Lost and confused, the visitor thought he was on “27th Street,” he told deputies. He also thought he was born in “1817.”

and…

Asking complete strangers to help him find his way home, an intoxicated male was contacted by deputies at 1 a.m. as he wandered aimlessly near the intersection of El Embarcadero and Sabado Tarde in Isla Vista.

“I’m just trying to find my home,” argued the 19-year-old.
During his booking for public intoxication, the subject told deputies he was 8 feet tall.

and…

A 72-year-old man had to be carried to a patrol vehicle after his arrest for public intoxication. The Santa Maria resident, intoxicated and belligerent, was removed from an Amtrak train after lying down, blocking the aisle and refusing to move.

Due to his high level of intoxication, an ambulance was called to the scene to transport the man to the hospital for treatment. Deputies re-contacted the offensive man at the hospital, citing him for public intoxication. His response, according to the report, was to tell the deputies to go “piss on a rope.”

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Goleta Valley, CA
During his appearance at the Santa Barbara Superior Courthouse for an unrelated matter, a 34-year-old man was arrested for grand theft of personal property. During a court recess, the San Bernadino resident slipped out with the victim’s brief case in tow. Aside from paperwork, inside the case were also an antique Rolex watch and over $100 in cash.

Recalling the suspicious behavior of the talkative suspect, a courthouse officer confronted the man once the courtroom was back in session. Shortly after questioning, the man admitted guilt and returned the stolen briefcase. The money and timepiece, however, remain missing.
The subject was arrested and transported to jail.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice