Small Town Misfit

Clovis, NM
About 4 a.m. Dec. 4 an officer responded to a home in the 100 block of Hinkle Street for a man with a knife.

A woman said her boyfriend had gone crazy and threatened everyone in the house because he said American women have no respect for men from Mexico.

She said he grabbed her by the hair and held the knife to her chest.

The man, whom officers noted was intoxicated, was arrested for battery on a household member, aggravated assault and kidnapping.

Found in the Clovis News Journal

Campbell, CA
2:18 a.m. Dec. 8 A driver waiting in line at Jack in the Box said a person in a vehicle who tried to cut in front of him got out of the vehicle and threatened him with a knife, then kicked his vehicle, jumped on the hood and punched the windshield.

Found in the San Jose Mercury News

Orange County, CA
A man told police he was in the drive-thru of McDonald’s on Beach Boulevard on a bicycle around 2 a.m. Thursday when two men in a pickup truck in front of him tried to run him over.

The truck went into reverse and the man said he had to jump off the bike to avoid being hit. Then, he said, the two got out of the truck, threw his mangled bicycle over a wall into the parking lot of Comfort Suites and hit a parked car, stole his bag and drove away.

Found in the Orange County Register

Framingham, MA
A Framingham man continued his unruly behavior at the police station after he was arrested for a disturbance Sunday, police said.

Sandro Romero, 31, stripped off his clothes and mooned a police officer during booking, suggesting that the officer wanted to perform a sexual act on him, police spokesman Lt. Paul Shastany said.

Romero was so combative an officer had to hold the arrested man’s head in place just so another officer could take his mug shot.

Found in the Metrowest Daily News

Orange County, CA
A patron of Bulldogs Hookah Lounge, near Beach Boulevard and Ellis Avenue, reported at 12:12 a.m. Sunday that another patron had assaulted him.

An officer arrived and the caller confessed the other man hadn’t actually punched him in the face, but had flicked him in the nose. He said he was “embarrassed in front of his girlfriend and that was unacceptable.”

Found in the Orange County Register

Tipp City, OH
An Elas Court resident reported seeing two males rolling around in a yard in the neighborhood and believed both were drunk and fighting.
According to reports one of the males was “flipping out” and had cut his chin after fighting with himself.
A squad was called in for the injuries.
Officers stated they believed the out-of-town man was under the influence of some kind of narcotic. He was handcuffed in the ambulance and taken to UVMC.

Found in the Tipp City Independent Voice

Atlanta, GA
On Ashby Terrace, a 54-year-old man said he was watching football when his live-in girlfriend got mad because he was watching TV. According to the man, she said: “You better turn off that television or else I’ll mess you up.” He said she had been drinking large amounts of alcoholic beverages all day.

He said the girlfriend went into the kitchen, returned with a can of green beans and threw it at his head. The green-bean can hit his face, causing a cut, he said. Then, he said, she started “going crazy.” He said she pulled a large mirror from the bedroom dresser, and it fell on her own leg. The mirror broke, causing a deep cut on the girlfriend’s thigh. The girlfriend, age 45, was arrested for aggravated assault.

Found in Creative Loafing

Columbia, SC
Officers were called to investigate a civil disturbance on Oct. 19. When they arrived on King Street a 42-year-old woman said that a man, whom she knew only by his nickname, hit her in the face with a frying pan, apparently taking a cue from Daffy Duck. The woman admitted to police that she had taken seven shots of rum and smoked crack earlier that day.

Found in the Free Times

Atlanta, GA
A 58-year-old man walked into the police precinct in Underground Atlanta. He said another man told him he smelled bad and poured a cup of Downy fabric softener on him. Apparently, both men were at a homeless shelter on Pryor Street.

Found in Creative Loafing

Chattanooga, TN
Police said a Forest Highland Circle man called and said his private part had just been amputated “by an unknown person.”

Responding officers said they found Erik Matthew Berkes walking a few blocks from his home.

They said he was bleeding from his genital area. He was conscious, but not able to respond.

He was taken by ambulance to Erlanger Medical Center.

At his residence, police found the door wide open. The “crime scene” was found to be the bathroom. Officers found bloody towels and rags in the bathtub.

Police said four of the victim’s five roommates were asleep “and unaware of what had happened.”

The other roommate had gone to work earlier.

Police were going to try to interview the victim to try to get more information.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Annapolis, MD
A man tried to set two women’s clothes on fire Monday night on West Street, police said.

At 9:09 p.m., officers responded to the intersection of West Street and Madison Place for a report of an assault. The women told the police an unknown male had approached them while they were walking down West Street and began yelling at them. He then attempted to set their clothes on fire with a cigarette lighter.

The suspect fled the scene before police arrived and officers were unable to find him. Neither of the women were injured during the incident.

Found in Hometown Annapolis

Westlake, OH
Police responded to a report of an accident on Rose Road on the afternoon of Sept. 17, but what they found was much more complicated.

Apparently a woman driving a pickup attempted to hit her neighbor, who was on a riding lawn mower.

She hit the man and also crashed into a tree in the yard.

The neighbor was unhurt but the driver of the truck suffered minor injuries from the impact with the tree.

The two had apparently been fighting earlier in the day. The woman claimed that her neighbor’s dog had bitten her granddaughter. No bite marks were found.

The woman was arrested for felonious assault and released the next day on $15,000 bail.

Found in the Cleveland Sun