Small Town Misfit

Goleta Valley, CA
Returning home to find his Isla Vista house burglarized, the resident looked outside to find a young man passed out on the front lawn. Checking the downed man’s pockets for identification, the victim came across his own stolen iPod. Apparently, the intoxicated burglar passed out before making it off the property.

The thief, once awakened, began vomiting profusely. Coming to his aid, the victim brought a wastebasket to the ill suspect until, finally, the suspect was able to walk home. It wasn’t until the following day that the victim realized the sick thief had also left with stolen cash in his pocket.

The victim turned over information collected from the suspect’s identification in hopes of locating the suspect and the $91. In a change of heart, having realized the thankless burglar left with stolen property, the victim told authorities he now wished to press charges against the thief.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Waynesboro, GA
Burglars caused nearly $20,000 in damage at the Head Start center on Blakeney Street.

According to a report filed at the Waynesboro Police Department, the burglars broke into the old gymnasium, which was being used for storage, and stripped the copper wiring and metal from three air conditioning units that had been put there for safekeeping.

Police say they also stole a Cub Cadet tractor and two water fountains that belong to the Burke County Board of Education.

And…

The Headstart center has been hit again.

After $20,000 in damages from thieves earlier this month, the Blakeney Street center has been vandalized.

According to the police report, seven windows were broken with rocks and gunshots.

The damages are estimated at $700.

Found in the True Citizen

San Jose, CA
Is it me, or does this police blotter read like a script for the Twilight Zone?

• An intoxicated 21-year-old man “who decided to break some trees” was arrested.
• A person was driving recklessly in the parking lot at the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints.
• A resident found bones on the side of her driveway.
• A person in a suspicious vehicle with two others hid his face from a person who observed them.
• A person was sleeping in a truck with something resembling a rifle displayed in the rear window.
• A person at Little River Park told police a dog secured to a tree was pulling so hard it was about to break and that a young child in the same area was throwing dirt at passing cars.
• Six handguns were stolen from a residence by someone who entered through a rear window.
• A parent reported being concerned that a neighbor was taking pictures of his children while they were playing in the yard.
• A man on crutches with black cat in his backpack was reported to be yelling at people passing by the library.

Found in the San Jose Mercury News

Atlanta, GA
A woman said she left her house on Defoors Ferry Road and a few hours later, she got a call about her home alarm going off. She returned home and discovered that her house had been robbed — again. She said this is the fifth time someone has broken into her home. She also said, every time the suspect(s) enter her home, “they always leave a fruit that is half-eaten in plain view for her to discover,” the officer wrote. “I discovered a half-eaten banana next to the listed crow bar, which was used to enter the front door.” Items reported stolen are: a flat-screen TV, a CD player and a lamp.

Found in Creative Loafing

Brazoria, TX
A day after police found a 41?2-foot long water moccasin in the car of William Eric Johnson, authorities discovered a live, 6-foot alligator lounging in his back seat.

“It was like Crocodile Dundee, Brazoria style,” Brazoria Police Chief Neal Longbotham said.

Johnson, 30, had “several addresses,” including one in Tennessee but was possibly living at a trailer park in the 500 block of West San Bernard Street in Brazoria, Longbotham said. Johnson was charged with burglary of a habitation early Sunday after he was found with items missing from a trailer in the same park, Department of Public Safety Trooper Steven Stanfield said.

Johnson also was cited by a game warden for illegally possessing an alligator.

Johnson is accused of entering the trailer home of his employer’s son and stealing a Wii video game controller and a hair trimmer, among other items.

Longbotham said Johnson asked a neighbor to help him load some of the items into the Buick.

“A TV was too big for him to carry by himself, so he knocked on a door and asked for help getting it into his car,” Longbotham said. “The neighbor saw the man and the alligator and wanted no part of that.”

Johnson apparently drove toward Angleton on Highway 35 with the alligator loose in the back seat, police said. He caught Stanfield’s attention upon making a U-Turn near the intersection of highways 35 and 288.

“He made a second U-Turn and almost hit a car at a stop sign on the feeder road,” Stanfield said. “I pulled him over and, lo and behold, he had a 6-foot alligator in the back seat.

“He said he found it on the road and decided to get out and capture it,” Stanfield said. “It’s mouth wasn’t taped, it wasn’t bound. It was crawling around in the guy’s car. … He said he was taking him to a friend’s house.”

Be sure to check out the rest of the story in The Facts

Thanks Kathy!

Cincinnati, OH
A 19-year-old Green Township mother is being held this morning at the Hamilton County jail after Cincinnati police charged her with taking her newborn baby along while she broke into a candy store.

Christine Ruther and three others are accused of breaking into Minges Candy Store, 132 W. Court St., downtown, shortly before 1 a.m. and swiping about $400 in candy, police said.

The group was arrested a few blocks away at Fourth and Race streets when police caught up with them by following the trail of candy and candy wrappers.

Arrested with Ruther was her seven-week-old daughter.

Ruther was charged with child endangering and breaking and entering, court records show. She arrived at the jail about 5 a.m. and will go before a judge Friday morning, jail officials said.

An 18-year-old woman and two men, 18 and 22, also were charged with breaking and entering, police said.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Goleta Valley, CA
A couple in their 60s living in Isla Vista awoke on a Friday morning to find an unknown college student sleeping in their bed — with them.

According to one of the residents,the young woman, wearing only a T-shirt and panties, had climbed into their bed undetected over the course of the evening. When the co-ed awoke at 6:30 a.m., she was alarmed by her mistake.

With little trouble, deputies found her pants and shoes in the driveway and her cellular phone on the lawn. Noting abrasions on her forehead and nose, it seems the uninvited guest, 21, may have fallen and injured herself before entering the private Sabado Tarde residence through an unlocked sliding glass door. She said her last memories were “drinking shots” with friends on Del Playa Drive the previous evening.

The couple did not wish to prosecute the young woman for trespassing. After gathering her belongings, she was transported safely home.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Cincinnati, OH
A Kmart pharmacist in Forest Park got a shock when he returned to the pharmacy following a break Tuesday evening.
The pharmacist told police he saw a man he didn’t know taking powerful drugs from a locked metal cabinet that had been pried open.
Police arrested Justin Hobbs, 28, who is homeless, and charged him with breaking and entering and 11 counts of possession of drugs.
The pharmacist, who works at the 12171 Omniplex Drive store, told police he’d returned from a break at 9:35 p.m. to find Hobbs taking the drugs. He said Hobbs gained entry to the pharmacy through the customer service window at the counter.
Hobbs is accused of stealing powerful pain killers, like oxycodone.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Clifton Heights, OH
Residents of a Clifton Heights house got a surprise Monday when they got home – a stranger asleep on their couch.
Mark Brown, 47, who told police he is homeless, was arrested and charged with burglary.
Police said Brown broke into the home in the 2300 block of Sauer Avenue and then laid down on the couch in the front room to take a nap.

That’s what he was doing when the homeowners returned.

Hamilton County Municipal Court Judge Nadine Allen set Brown’s bond today at $5,000.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Chattanooga, TN
Katrina Kyner of Camden Street came home to find that a small garden shovel from her yard had been used to pry open her front door.

Drawers in a dresser were ransacked along with a small purse. She is missing a coin collection and a bottle of Crown Royal whisky.

Also taken was her deceased aunt’s identification papers.

Two dogs were at the house, and there is an alarm system. But the burglars were undeterred.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Tracy, CA
10:59 a.m.: Someone broke locks off a door and left behind “dirty magazines and feces on the doorstep” on the 500 block of West Eaton Avenue.

Found in the Tracy Press

Goleta Valley, CA
A family returned from a holiday vacation to find their home in complete disarray. While away the week after Christmas, somebody broke into the residence using it as a party pad, causing over $3,300 in damages.

A thorough inventory of items destroyed and stolen during the break-in included cash, a wallet, a scooter, a wine opener, perfume and numerous bottles of alcohol. Damages included a burned dining room chair, a damaged hot tub, a damaged pool cover and a broken fence. In addition to the listed damages, the home and swimming pool required a professional cleaning.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice