Small Town Misfit

Westlake, OH
Police were called to a wedding reception at 11 p.m. Saturday on reports of an overly intoxicated guest.

Police arrived to find a 24-year-old Parma woman, who apparently assaulted another guest by punching her.

The woman was arrested and proceeded to kick, pinch and spit at officer while being booked.

Found in the Sun News

Middleburg Heights, OH
Police observed a driver traveling about 20 mph with his car’s hazard lights on. The tire on the car was flat and smoking.

The man was pulled over. As he got out of the car, he started to walk toward the officer’s cruiser. Police told the man to go back to his car and he stumbled backward into traffic.

The man told police he was just trying to get home.

The man’s breath smelled of alcohol and he had bloodshot and glassy eyes.

The Brook Park man eventually got home but not before making a stop in jail.

Found in the News Sun

Cincinnati, OH
The unusual noise coming out of a portable toilet in Sycamore Township’s Bechtold Park caught the bike cop’s ear
When the officer popped open the door, here’s what he saw, according to the arrest report:
Gil Duff.

Sitting on the john.

Pants pulled up.

Snoring away.

An open beer can beside him.

The officer arrested Duff, 45, of Deer Park, on charges of criminal trespass and disorderly conduct while intoxicated.

The report said this the third time Duff’s been seen “passed out and intoxicated” in a public place.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Kalispell, MT
12:09 a.m. A man who was lying face down on the train tracks at the Whitefish Train Depot was taken to North Valley Hospital.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Durango, CO
4:15 p.m. An officer was needed at Mercy Regional Medical Center to handle an agitated and intoxicated husband while his wife was in labor. The man was gone when officers arrived.

Found in the Durango Herald

Columbia, SC
A 37-year-old woman said she was visiting friends on Greene Street on March 29 when she knocked on a 48-year-old man’s door to ask for a cigarette. When the man opened the door he kicked the 37-year-old woman in the chest and closed his door. The man opened his door again and came at the woman with a knife, but another man was nearby and he hit the man with a chair before he could hurt the woman again. When officers showed up they could tell right away that the 48-year-old man was drunk. He was arrested and jailed on charges of drunkenness and simple assault.

Found in the Free Times

Batavia, OH
A bridesmaid on her way to her sister’s wedding got sidetracked Sunday to the Clermont County jail after she was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs while her two young children were in the backseat, jail officials said.

Jennifer Wheeler, 28, is held this morning at the jail without bond until she appears at 10 a.m. before Clermont County Municipal Court Judge Gregory Chapman, court records show.

She arrived at the jail about 4:20 p.m. Sunday in a yellow bridesmaid dress, jail officials said this morning.

Ohio State Highway Patrol Trooper Bob Rose charged her with driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol on Bauer Road in Batavia, child endangering and drug possession, records show. She also is accused of operating a motor vehicle without a driver’s license and operating a vehicle without reasonable control.

Then, she was charged with drug possession and bringing illegal items onto jail grounds after guards found Xanax pills on her, officials said.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Waynesboro, GA
According to a report filed at the Waynesboro Police Department, 38-year-old Angela Etterle was pulled over on East Seventh Street when an officer saw her weaving.

She was asked to take the breathalyzer several times but refused. The questioning ended when she told the female officer, “I’d rather bl** you than blow into that machine.”

Etterle was arrested for DUI (second offense) and driving with a suspended or revoked license.

Found in the True Citizen

Parma, OH
A Parma Heights woman was arrested for trying to assault a police officer by running him over with her car.

Christine Tryon, 48, was charged with felonious assault, felony fleeing, resisting arrest, reckless operation and drunken driving. She hit two police cruisers when she was approached by officers about 1 a.m. March 21 at Goodtime Charlie’s, 5771 Pearl Road.

A bar employee called police because the woman was unruly while inside the tavern. When police got to the scene, they found Tryon in her car with the music turned up very loud. She refused to get out of the car and ran it into two police cruisers. She then left the parking lot and tried to run over an officer who was telling her to stop, according a report.

Police chased after the woman who eventually crashed her car in Parma Heights. She struggled with police while being arrested and again at the city jail where she had to be restrained.

Found in the Parma Sun Post

Chattanooga, TN
A clerk at the Kangaroo Express on Dallas Road said a white male drove up in an older mid-size pickup truck with a loud exhaust. The man - described as about 35 years old, 6′3″ and 180 pounds - came in the store.

He picked up three cases of Bud Lite beer and walked to the door without paying.

Before departing, he told the clerk, “I’m going to have a good time tonight.”

Found in the Chattanoogan

Grass Valley, CA
11:08 a.m. - A caller from a business on the 24100 block of Dark Horse Drive reported all the beer had been stolen.

Found in the Union

Charleston, SC
An underage drinker booked for public drunkenness said, “I didn’t know Charleston city cops were such douch [sic] bags.” When told he should take his arrest seriously, the kid replied, “I’ve got a 3.8 GPA. They won’t do shit to me.”

Found in the Charleston City Paper