Small Town Misfit

Warwick, RI
Warwick police said a Tidewater Drive man was motoring on West Shore Road around 12:45 p.m. Sunday when a bite of a candy bar became lodged in his throat and choked him long enough for him to momentarily black out. The driver lost control of his vehicle and slammed into a utility pole, snapping it off. The crash dislodged the piece of candy from the man’s throat but the vehicle went up onto a lawn and hit a house, tearing down the wires to the house and the neighborhood.

The house had only minor damage but according to National Grid about 2,500 customers were without power for 40 minutes and another 59 in the immediate vicinity didn’t have their electricity restored for about four hours. The woman passenger and the driver had trivial injuries but Warwick Rescue convinced the man to got to the hospital for a closer examination of his throat.

Found on Warwick Online

Thanks Barbara!

Parma, OH
A Parma Heights woman was arrested for trying to assault a police officer by running him over with her car.

Christine Tryon, 48, was charged with felonious assault, felony fleeing, resisting arrest, reckless operation and drunken driving. She hit two police cruisers when she was approached by officers about 1 a.m. March 21 at Goodtime Charlie’s, 5771 Pearl Road.

A bar employee called police because the woman was unruly while inside the tavern. When police got to the scene, they found Tryon in her car with the music turned up very loud. She refused to get out of the car and ran it into two police cruisers. She then left the parking lot and tried to run over an officer who was telling her to stop, according a report.

Police chased after the woman who eventually crashed her car in Parma Heights. She struggled with police while being arrested and again at the city jail where she had to be restrained.

Found in the Parma Sun Post

Rio Grande, NM
7:51 p.m. — A State Road 571 caller said her son wrecked a car into her other son’s house, then went inside and tried to fight him. Deputies took a report for driving under the influence.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Waynesboro, GA
Burke County residents reported property damage from the hooves and snouts of wayward livestock.

Last Thursday, an Eagle Pass Road resident told officers her neighbor’s pigs kept getting loose and coming into her yard. During the latest escape, they destroyed her garden and rooted up her flowers.

The day prior, a Maple Lane man had trouble with his neighbor’s goat. According to the deputy’s report, the man recorded video footage of the goat climbing on top of his vehicle and walking around.

The deputy noted that the man’s car had indeed been scratched and was also littered with goat hair.

Found in the True Citizen

Jefferson, GA
A Gillsville man caught with a handgun at the Jackson County Courthouse tried to talk his way out of trouble, explaining he is a member of the “Freedom World” and doesn’t have to follow laws that would stop people from carrying a handgun into a courthouse.

He was charged him with carrying a deadly weapon at a public gathering after he brought the handgun in a briefcase to the courthouse.

He told authorities he was at the courthouse to see a judge about probation, but authorities couldn’t find any proof that he was on probation.

Deputies also impounded his pickup truck, which did not have a government-issued license plate but a tag purportedly explaining why he is exempt from state law. It displays his name in bold red letters, as well as an address and telephone number in smaller type, and cites specific state laws as proof of his rights to travel and to private property.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Rio Grande, NM
10:29 p.m. — A caller said a woman was driving a car with a man in the back seat who was using a slingshot to hit cars with rocks. The duo was pulled over on a traffic stop before police responded to the call.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Erie County, NY
A patrol stopped a vehicle on Seneca Street after noticing it had no inspection sticker. When asked for his license and registration, the driver said, “My license is suspended, but I didn’t want my wife to drive because I think the front wheel is going to fall off.”

Found in the Bee News

Erie County, NY
An East Aurora man was pulled over after Depew police noticed him driving too slowly on Transit Road. An officer saw the driver pull out of a parking lot, and the driver continued to slow down, driving 20 mph down to 10 mph, so he didn’t pass the patrol car. The driver admitted to having “a few drinks” and told police he graduated from high school but didn’t know the English language.

Found in the Bee News Blotter

Columbia, SC
Stop means stop! Police pulled over two men for not stopping at stop signs Feb. 12. A 25-year-old man was blue lighted on Broad River Road. As officers approached to get his license and registration they noticed that he had a mouthful of pot he was trying to eat to prevent them from seeing it. The cops shot him with a Taser stun gun when he did not comply with their requests to step out of his car and spit out the marijuana. The other man, 18, was pulled over near Oxford Commons. He had a pill bottle full of pot in his glove compartment. An officer saw it when the man went to retrieve his registration. And while the officer was moving around the car to get a better look, the 18-year-old grabbed the bottle and tried to hide it between his legs. When that didn’t work he threw the bottle out of the window. Both men were arrested and jailed, mostly for being really, really dumb.

Found in the Free Times

Lake Oswego, OR
On McVey near South Shore, a motorist called police to complain that the sun was shining in his eyes while approaching the intersection.

Found in the Lake Oswego Review

Boston College, MA
11:23 p.m. - Two students were observed carrying a car bumper. Investigation determined they had taken if from an accident scene. They brought the bumper back.

Found in the BCHeights

Madison, WI
A rural Fox Lake woman early Sunday was able to give a detailed description of a suspected drunken driver and the suspect ’s vehicle to a Dodge County sheriff ’s dispatcher.

That ’s because the woman was calling from that vehicle — a tan 2002 pickup truck — and she was driving it, Dodge County Sheriff Todd Nehls said.

The woman ’s boyfriend in the passenger seat suggested she call 911 to report her own drunken driving, so she did, Nehls said. The boyfriend was not driving, she said, because he was too drunk.

The call came in at 12:29 a.m. Sunday on the county 911 line as a hang-up call from a cell phone, Nehls said.

Dispatchers used a reverse 911 directory and called the phone, which was answered by a woman who identified herself as Patricia Dykstra, 51. She said her boyfriend made her call, because “somebody seems to think I can ‘t drive home straight. ”

When the dispatcher asked her why, she said, “He seems to think I ‘m too intoxicated to drive. ”

During a relatively pleasant conversation with the dispatcher — a recording of which Nehls released Monday — Dykstra gave her name, location and vehicle description before saying she should probably hang up because “I don ‘t like being on the phone while driving. ”

Asked by the dispatcher if she had too much to drink, she said “I don ‘t think so, ma ‘am. ”

She said she was almost home and gave the intersection. Throughout the 3 -minute call, however, the dispatcher did not suggest the woman pull over. Nehls said the dispatcher assumed the woman had already stopped, although her last advice to Dykstra was, “So Pat, drive carefully, OK? ”

Deputies went to her home, where Dykstra met them on the porch, Nehls said. She had consumed a six-pack of beer, she said, and her boyfriend a 12-pack. She was ticketed for drunken driving, her first offense.

Found in the Wisconsin State Journal
Tipped by Metropolis Zero