Small Town Misfit

Mukilteo, WA
A party reported that his mother punched him and hit him with a belt, including the buckle. He later told the officer that he had lied and his mother had only tapped him on the head because he was playing with a hot iron.

Found in the Mukilteo Beacon

Atlanta, GA
On Ashby Terrace, a 54-year-old man said he was watching football when his live-in girlfriend got mad because he was watching TV. According to the man, she said: “You better turn off that television or else I’ll mess you up.” He said she had been drinking large amounts of alcoholic beverages all day.

He said the girlfriend went into the kitchen, returned with a can of green beans and threw it at his head. The green-bean can hit his face, causing a cut, he said. Then, he said, she started “going crazy.” He said she pulled a large mirror from the bedroom dresser, and it fell on her own leg. The mirror broke, causing a deep cut on the girlfriend’s thigh. The girlfriend, age 45, was arrested for aggravated assault.

Found in Creative Loafing

Columbia, SC
Officers were called to investigate a civil disturbance on Oct. 19. When they arrived on King Street a 42-year-old woman said that a man, whom she knew only by his nickname, hit her in the face with a frying pan, apparently taking a cue from Daffy Duck. The woman admitted to police that she had taken seven shots of rum and smoked crack earlier that day.

Found in the Free Times

Atlanta, GA
A man said his girlfriend came over to his apartment on Harwell Road, where his family was sitting on the front porch. He said she asked family members for some change so she could fill her gas can and burn down the apartment. They refused to give her money, so she left … and then returned with a one-gallon can about half-filled and threatened to burn down the house, the man said. The woman admitted that she returned with a gas can — she said she was upset about getting slapped in the face. She said the man slapped her and pushed her into a door frame. He denied this. The officer noted that the woman, age 33, smelled of alcohol. Both the man and woman were charged with simple battery and taken to jail.

Found in Creative Loafing

Chico, CA
2:40 p.m. Information to citizen reported on the 1100 block of West Ninth Street. “Ongoing problems with one of the roommates having several odd friends over. Reporting party had one of the friends enter her locked room while she was asleep. Subject crawled into bed with her.”

and…

2:52 a.m. Suspicious circumstance reported on the 800 block of Flume Street. “Reporting party’s ex-boyfriend walked into reporting party’s home uninvited and turned on the A/C. Reporting party got upset and subject got on bike and fled.”

and…

2:44 a.m. Suspicious circumstance reported on the 2000 block of Amanda Way. “Short bald guy with glasses. Subject was trying to get into the apartment. He kept telling the reporting party he was looking for someone but kept changing the names of whom he was looking for.”

Found in the Orion

Tracy, CA
9:57 p.m.: A woman on the 1900 block of East Street called police after she arrived home to find her husband naked on the couch with another woman’s underwear.

Found in the Tracy Press

Parma, OH
A Browns fan was smacked in the face with a pan full of clams and hot water after he insulted a Steelers fan Sunday during the football game.

Police were called about 3:45 p.m. to a Stumph Road apartment complex where the victim lives. He said he told his friend that the Steelers team and their quarterback were no good. The two men argued and the Pittsburgh fan took the pan off the stove and swung it at the Cleveland supporter. He left the scene before police got there, but faces a felonious assault charge.

Found in the Parma Sun Post

Atlanta, GA
On Archer Avenue, an 80-year-old woman said her grandson came by her apartment and asked her for money. She said no. Then, she said, her grandson twisted her arm, grabbed her change purse and took $200. She said she doesn’t know where her grandson lives. He is 42 years old and weighs about 250 pounds.

Found in Creative Loafing

Atlanta, GA
On Glenwood Place, a 44-year-old woman said her dog urinated in the house that morning. She said her brother asked her to clean it up, then he left. She said her father grabbed a pan and hit her elbow, causing a deep cut. She said she and her father both grabbed objects throughout the house and struck each other. She had scratches on her neck.

The father, age 78, said he was in his room when his daughter started banging on the door. He said when he answered the door, she threw a glass dish at him. He said to defend himself, he grabbed objects and struck his daughter. The father had scratches on his chest, arm and forehead. He also had an egg-shaped bump on his forehead, an officer noted. Both father and daughter were charged with aggravated assault and battery and went to Grady Memorial Hospital.

Found in Creative Loafing

Brunswick, OH
A naked man who jumped off a third-floor balcony of a Skyview Drive apartment was taken into custody Saturday night after challenging police to a foot race through the Forest Hills and Hickory Hills subdivisions.

Police say neighbors complained of a male and female yelling inside one of the apartments around 11:47 p.m., which prompted them to investigate. When they arrived, a woman answered the door to the apartment saying she was the only one inside the residence. As police were looking around, they spotted a man wearing no clothes run out the back door onto a balcony where he proceeded to jump off, landing on the concrete below.

The man was located minutes later near the intersection of Judita Drive and Skyview Drive, where officers began chasing him on foot. The man was arrested a short time later near Magnolia Drive.

Upon investigation, police discovered the man had an active warrant for his arrest issued by the Parma Police Department. He was taken to the station, where he was cited for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

The man was later turned over to Parma police.

Found in the Brunswick Sun Times

Campbell, CA
Bascom Avenue, 7:49 p.m. Thursday A woman told police her husband intentionally fell on her while he was trying to fix the curtains.

Found in the San Jose Mercury News

Lakewood, OH
Police were called to a Larchwood home July 12 because two sisters, ages 17 and 20, were arguing over a pair of shorts.

The argument then escalated into a shoving match and the girls’ father tried to step in to stop the fight.

The younger daughter told police she didn’t like living at home, but police told the girl she had to follow the rules set by her parents until she is 18.

Found in the News Sun