Small Town Misfit

Colerain Township, OH

Tired of snowman abuse, Matt Williquette decided to go hi-tech.

Williquette, 26, has a 12-foot inflatable snowman in his Crest Road front yard that has been vandalized three times in the last two weeks.

Tired of having Frosty punctured, Williquette bought a digital video recorder and stuck it in a nearby tree.

He captured video of two men using a screwdriver to punch yet another hole in Frosty. Police used the video to capture one of them today.

Hamilton County Sheriff’s deputies arrested Robert Snell, of the 2800 block Overdale Drive, Colerain Township, at 11:30 this morning.

Snell was charged with criminal damaging, a second-degree misdemeanor.

“I’m very relieved,” said Williquette, a packaging designer for Procter & Gamble. “People can finally sleep better around here.”

Williquette placed the 12-foot Frosty in his yard as part of his Christmas decorations. He also has in his yard a 6-foot inflatable snow globe, about 30 large candy canes and 4-foot inflatable snowman.

He has no idea why the vandals limited themselves to the largest inflatable decoration.

“The question I have is, ‘Why me?’ And why Frosty?” Williquette asked.
“I had more (decorations) to put out there but with Frosty going down I wasn’t going to chance it.”
Williquette placed white masking tape over the first two punctures to get Frosty inflated again.

Sick of seeing a deflated Frosty, Williquette used a video camera and bought new computer software to set a trap. The camera operated essentially the same as a motion detector, recording when something moved.

“Me sitting in front of the window every night wasn’t going to get it,” Williquette said.

After he heard a commotion last night and saw Frosty deflated, Williquette called police.

“The investigation continues to snowball; any future developments will be reported,” the sheriff’s office reported.

Snell’s name came to police from a tipster who’d seen the video.

The second man in the video hasn’t been identified.

With a bit of luck, Frosty will return to duty tonight.

“I just got to find some black duct tape to patch up his little charcoal area in his stomach and he’ll be back up and running.” Williquette said.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer
Thanks Luann!

Waynesboro, GA
A man whose scent made officers light-headed was arrested last Tuesday after he demanded they give him more beer.

Carl Davis, 48, of 4286 Quaker Road, Keysville, was arrested for public drunkenness after it was reported that he had been harassing customers at the Jet Food Store on North Liberty Street.

According to a report filed at the Waynesboro Police Department, Davis was advised to leave the premises several times but continued to disturb businesses and tried to stop moving traffic.

After Davis flagged down the same police officer, he was detained and asked to provide basic information about himself. He gave officers three phone numbers that were not his nor associated with him, and officers noted his speech was slurred, his eyes were glazed and bloodshot and he was dirty and reeked of alcohol. The report said officers became light-headed after he had been in their presence.

After Davis asked police for another beer, he was transported to the Burke County Jail. A $375 property bond was posted.

Found in the True Citizen

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Rio Grande, NM
12:28 p.m. — A suspicious bald man was sitting on the bank of a ditch, a caller said. The caller said the man had been sitting there for a couple of hours. The man advised police, “he sits there and ponders life.”

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Erie County, NY
A patrol drove past a vehicle with heavy damage and a light out on Clinton Street. When the officer activated his lights, the vehicle pulled onto the lawn in front of a Clinton Street residence.

The driver of the suspect vehicle put his car in reverse and struck the patrol car. He told the officer he was trying to pull into his driveway. He said he drank four Coors Light beers for his birthday.

When performing field sobriety tests, the suspect asked if he could remove his glass eye to retry the one-leg stand. The officer allowed him to remove his artificial eye, but he failed the test again and was placed under arrest.

Found in the Bee News

Erie County, NY
Police responded to a report of a motor vehicle accident on Tampa Drive. The driver did not appear to understand the police officer’s questions. When asked what had happened, the driver said, “She pulled out in front of me.” But the driver had struck a parked car. The driver refused field sobriety and breath tests.

Found in the Bee News

Parma, OH
A well-meaning West Ridgewood Drive woman learned a lesson the hard way when she invited a naked teen into her home for a meal.

The woman, 56, told police she was watching TV about 7 p.m. Sunday when she heard a noise in her front yard. She went outside to find a naked male, breaking potted plants.

She asked him why he had no clothes, and if he was cold or hungry. He said he was, so she invited him in to give him food and shelter, a report said.

Once inside, though, the suspect walked over to her 24-inch TV, picked it up and threw it to the ground, breaking it.

The woman then called police. The suspect had run away from Parmadale, the report said.

A vandal damaged a car on Virginia Avenue last week by spray-painting it with purple paint.

The graffiti depicted pictures of male anatomy.

Found in the Parma Sun Post

Santa Barbara, CA
Sunday, Oct. 22, 3:19 a.m. - IVFP deputies received a request for service from the owner of Deja Vu Cafe on Embarcadero del Norte because an 18-year-old woman refused to leave the eatery.

When officers arrived at the scene, they found the subject crying at the counter. A deputy attempted to find out why the woman was upset, but during questioning, the disheveled subject kept exposing her bra to the officers and would not answer their questions.

During the incident, a man claiming to be the subject’s cousin stood outside waiting to take the woman home. However, the drunk diner said she did not want to go with the man because she did not know where she was.

The officers removed the woman from the restaurant, arrested her for public intoxication and transported her to the IVFP office for booking. As she sat in the office, the woman started ranting about various, unrelated topics, and told officers she wanted to have a conversation about the government.

The woman continued her rambling, telling officers they should treat her with respect because she was going to be on MTV.

After a while, the woman gave up trying to engage the officers, so she began talking to herself. She repeatedly asserted that the officers would “be the death of her” because they put on her handcuffs too tightly.

Despite the officer’s torturous restraining mechanisms, the subject managed to survive the booking. The woman was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where she was housed, pending sobriety.

found in the Daily Nexus Online

Logan, UT
An individual believes that her neighbor has taken her cat and is going to eat it. She would like an officer to come down and check all of her neighbor’s freezers.

Found in the Utah Statesman

Boerne, TX

Found in the Boerne Star

Greenacres, FL
Police were called to a business in the 6500 block of Forest Hill Boulevard about a naked, drunken man trying to enter a business and attack an employee. An employee said that the man and a woman were in the backseat of a black Oldsmobile that was driven by another man and they ordered food. The employee said the man and woman were having sex.

The employee told the driver to pull to the front of the business because of a mistake in the order. The employee stepped out of the business and handed a bag to the woman. The woman then said that he touched her breast. The naked man exited the car and attacked the employee. The employee tried to run into the business, but the man followed him and punched him in the eye. The man was lying on the ground with his body half inside and half outside, causing the door of the business to be open.

The man stood up, went into the business and stumbled several times as he walked toward the bathroom. The officer made contact with the man who smelled like alcohol and had slurred speech. The man was arrested.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

Atlanta, GA
A woman called police about a man trespassing on the patio of her condo on Chaumont Square. An officer arrived and talked to the man, who said he’s the foreman for the grounds on the golf course at the condo complex. He said he noticed that the woman’s back patio was open, so he went there to get a bucket. He said he took a bucket so he could fill it with water and put out a fire on his lawn vehicle. He said if he didn’t put out the fire, the vehicle would have exploded because it contained 15 gallons of hydraulic fuel and 15 gallons of gas. He did manage to put the fire out.

After hearing the man’s explanation, the police officer asked the woman if she still wanted to press charges. “Yes,” the woman answered. So the man was arrested for trespassing and taken to jail.

Found in Creative Loafing Atlanta

Rio Grande, NM
1:15 p.m. —A man wearing a golf shirt and walking with a child approached Lowe’s Home Improvement customers and declared he was Jesus. The child with “Jesus” had a bloody nose. Police made contact with the man, called his wife and determined it was okay for him to be with the child and that declaring oneself Jesus was not a criminal activity.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun