Small Town Misfit

Lincoln, NE
Man reports anoiting sent him to the hospital

A Lincoln man didn’t want anyone arrested or ticketed, but asked police to document something that happened at a revival Friday night.

Officer Katherine Finnell said the man said a pastor hit him so hard during an anointing ceremony that he ended up going to the hospital because of back pain.

The man told police he felt he was struck harder by the pastor than any other parishoners, but didn’t want any action taken.

Finnell said the revival was at 10 p.m. at 1123 C St., Everett Elementary School

Found in the Lincoln Journal Star

Thanks TIKI!

Boerne, TX

Found in the Boerne Star

Capistrano Valley, CA
33700 block of Diana Drive: Citizen assist, 2:06 a.m. June 12: The caller said she left her sliding glass door open and there is now a cat hanging upside down from her chandelier.

Found in the Orange County Register

Athens, GA
A Smyrna teacher was arrested in downtown Athens Saturday morning after a police officer saw him urinate on the Clarke County Courthouse.

An officer spotted David A. Van Horn, 39, urinating in front of the courthouse and wrote him a ticket, according to a police report. Van Horn refused to sign it, and was handcuffed and charged with public intoxication, the report said. Van Horn also had been yelling at women who passed by, calling them fat, the report said. Van Horn’s occupation was listed as a teacher in the Cobb County school system on the arrest report.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

River Forest, IL

Found in the Wednesday Journal

Goleta, CA
Traveling at a high rate of speed on North Fairview Avenue in his Chevy Camaro, the 24-year-old driver tried rationalizing with deputies. “I’m sorry about that,” he said, “But I have a Camaro. It only has one speed: Fast.”

With the smell of alcohol wafting from his breath, deputies performed the routine tests. After blowing a .11 and l3% into the alcohol intoxilyzer breath machine, he was arrested for drunk driving just after 2:30 a.m. “I am wrong for driving,” the remorseful suspect slurred on his way to jail. “I will kick myself in the nuts when I get out.”

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Grand Forks, ND
Things got hot Tuesday for a Grand Forks woman wanted on a drug-related warrant when sheriff’s deputies came looking to arrest her. But Tamara Jean Rysavy eluded an initial search by officers by locking her mobile home door and crawling into her clothes dryer.

But there was one wrinkle in her plan. Before anyone could punch spin cycle, deputies found her hiding under a load of clothing in the dryer and bounced her out.

Figuratively speaking.

Found in the Grand Forks Herald

Durango, CO
12:38 p.m. A man at the 3100 block of West Fifth Avenue said someone had come into his house on Saturday and shaved his dog.

Found in the Durango Herald

Palm Beach, FL
A 500 lb. “quartz gem rock”, valued at $100,000, was removed from the front lawn of a residence in the 200 block of Sandal Lane. The rock, which took four men to place it on the lawn, has been in the family for many years.

Found in the Weekday Newspaper

Parma Heights, OH
Police say a local truck driver broke into a resident’s garage on Saturday, stole an extension cord and used the homeowner’s electricity without permission in order to refrigerate more than 76,000 pounds of cabbage in a parked semi-truck.

Residents on Maplecrest Drive complained to officers that the truck had been parked without permission overnight in a lot behind Party City on Pearl Road. When police arrived they found an extension cord running from a nearby garage to a generator next to the truck.

The homeowner was unaware that his extension cord and electricity were being used by the truck. The driver, who police later determined was driving with a suspended license, was subsequently arrested.

Officers then impounded the truck and seized the cabbage crop.

Prosecutors brought felony charges against the driver on Monday, including theft of utility service, breaking and entering, possession of criminal tools and resisting arrest.

The cabbage was returned Tuesday to its rightful owner without incident.

Found in the Sun News

Chetek, WI
2:45 p.m.-Chetek caller advised he fell off the toilet and is wedged between the toilet and bathtub. He is not hurt, but can’t get up.

Found in the Chetek Alert

Columbia, SC
76-year-old man called sheriff’s deputies to his Suber Street home Feb. 14 to complain that someone had unscrewed the top hinges of his screen door. He said his ex-wife made some kids he saw earlier in a nearby park do it. A cop noted that the door appeared to have been old and worn, and had probably been blown off its hinges by the wind.

Two days later, the man called deputies back to his house to complain that his ex was “sending waves through his house,” which was causing him to “mess up dialing the phone.” The man said his ex-wife has done this to him before, and no one had done anything about it. The cops left, but a short while later the man called them back yet again, this time saying his phone was broken. A cop dialed a number successfully and the man said, “It only done that because you are the police.” The cop noted in his report that he’s familiar with this man’s “mental condition.”

Found in the Free Times