Small Town Misfit

Atlanta, GA
An officer responded to a fight call on Joseph P. Lowery Boulevard. A 24-year-old woman said she was punched by a man she calls her “grandfather,” but he is just a family friend. The woman said she just took a pregnancy test and discovered it was positive. Then she said her water broke when she fell to the floor. Medics said this was improbable because she “just found out she was pregnant and she may have urinated on herself,” an officer wrote. The woman described her “grandfather” as a man with a long goatee and gray cornrows. He left before police arrived.

Found in Creative Loafing

Amherst, NY
A South Union Road resident heard a noise outside and dialed 911. She hung up when she realized it was the newspaper delivery.

Found in the Amherst Beeландшафт

Rio Grande, NM
6:45 a.m. — A Private Drive 1625 caller said he just wanted to let someone know that the TV and everyone are spreading the wrong word. Officers were advised.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Rio Grande, NM
4:43 p.m. A Ruff Cuts Pet Salon employee said a new customer was complaining about her grooming. Dispatchers advised the caller that 911 is for emergencies only.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Kalispell, MT
11:11 a.m. Deputies responded when someone from the Mountain Villa apartments called in to report that their neighbors were fighting and they could hear a woman screaming “stop!” When deputies arrived they found a man and his wife sitting in front of a large flat screen television – with surround sound blasting – playing the video game Super Mario Cart. The couple was yelling and having fun with their awesome Wii game.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Charlotte, NC
A 39-year-old woman said someone broke into her home while she was there and stole her dog. Twenty minutes later, the thief returned and gave the dog back.

Found in Creative Loafing

Atlanta, GA
At Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, an airport screener said a passenger hit her hand with a bottle of lotion. There were no visible signs of injury, an officer noted. “Several other TSA supervisors were on scene and loudly demanding that the passenger be charged and arrested,” the officer noted, adding that the airport screener was “loud and uncooperative.”

The passenger is a 46-year-old woman from Greenwood Village, Colo. She said she was told the bottle of lotion was going to be thrown into the trash, so she asked that the lotion be given to the homeless instead. Then, she said, the airport screener became loud and adamant that the lotion was going into the trash. She said she did hit the airport screener’s hand, but not to harm her. There was no evidence of intent by the passenger, the officer noted. A security videotape didn’t clearly show the incident, an airport supervisor said. No charges filed.

Found in Creative Loafing

Olmstead Falls, OH
A Columbia Gas employee called police to report a suspicious bag lying on a tree lawn on Columbia Road.

The man believed the bag contained marijuana.

An officer responded to the area and retrieved the bag.

The bag contained potpourri.

Found in the News Sun

Rio Grande, NM
1:09 a.m. — A Trujillo Loop caller said a 16- or 17-year-old male ran from him for no reason near Johnny’s Auto Parts. The man called a second time to report the teenager was behind Lovin Oven looking for his shoe, and the caller told him that should be all he is looking for.

The caller said he would keep an eye on the teen because he didn’t trust him. Police didn’t make any arrests since no one committed a crime.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Jeffco, CO
A Jefferson County Sheriff’s deputy was sent to the Golden Panda Restaurant, 7470 S. Pierce St. at 3:30 March 14 on a report of a disturbance. A woman at the restaurant told the deputy she had gone to the bathroom and when she returned her table had been cleared off and her cell phone was missing.

While the deputy was talking to the woman, she started emptying her pockets and lifted her shirt, revealing a white sports bra with a cell phone held between her breasts. When the deputy tried to ask her about the phone the woman grabbed her children, screamed, “You’ll hear from my lawyer,” went outside and drove off in a gold van with the front hubcap missing. The deputy followed the woman outside, but could not get a license number from the van.

The deputy spoke to the restaurant owners who said they both saw the woman place the phone in her bra while standing in the bar area. The deputy told the owners to call the sheriff’s office if the woman returned.

Found in the Jeffco Sheriff’s Blotter

Kalispell, MT
10:34 p.m. A woman from Washington called in because she had received three troubling phone calls from her brother in Coram. On the first call he claimed he had shot himself. He called back and said he was drunk and he shot himself. He called again and said he was just drunk and he hadn’t been shot. Deputies checked on him and he seemed to be OK.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Concord, NH
At 5:19 p.m., a guest at an Elm Street hotel reported she was concerned about the children in the room above her because they had stopped making noise. In an apparently unrelated incident, she also reported heavy set male walking in the hallway. Then she asked for a phone number for the CIA because the FBI had been rude to her.

Found on Talking Tree