Small Town Misfit

Bozeman, MT
A person on Doane Road reported finding a suspicious substance in a tea pot. The substance appeared to be buildup from hard water.

Found in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle

Missoula, MT
Officers received a report of something that resembled a bomb on a picnic table near the tennis courts, said Lemcke. Upon investigation, they discovered a clock with water bottles duct-taped together to look like an explosive vest. It turned out to be part of a Halloween costume. “What is Halloween without a costume in bad taste, huh?” Lemcke said.

Found in the Montana Kaimin

Flathead County, MT
11:27 a.m. A worried man called the Sheriff’s Department because he received some obscene pictures on his cell phone. Later he found out his buddy had sent them so he was OK with it.

Found in the Beacon

Missoula, MT
A worried mother called police and requested they check on her daughter, who had sent her a text message the night before saying only that “something had happened,” and then failed to answer repeated phone calls, Director of Public Safety Jim Lemcke said. Officers and RAs responded to the girl’s room but she did not answer the door, which was unlocked but had a chain in place. They cut the chain to get in, and discovered the girl and a young man asleep in bed together. “So there was embarrassment all the way around,” said Lemcke, “but everyone was fine.” Officers told the girl to call her mother.

Found in the Montana Kaimin

Mukilteo, WA
A party called and requested an officer escort him to his mailbox in the apartment complex. The party said that he wanted the police there to keep the peace and avoid problems with the management. The party was advised that he could call 911 if a disturbance arose while he was getting his mail.

Found in the Mukilteo Beacon

Chattanooga, TN
Police answered a call of a disorder in a car on Dallas Road.

Charles Mooney and India Kendrick said they were not fighting. They were jamming to some rock music.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Rio Grande, NM
7:50 p.m. — A woman came to the Española Police station to ask a police officer something. She said she wanted to discuss her rights because she is from another country. She wanted to know if the police would stop her if she didn’t go to church, dispatch logs state. No report was taken.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Amhurst, NY
A Noel Drive resident complained that the neighbor’s sprinkler was on and was getting her driveway wet. She didn’t want to wait for police but wanted them to tell the neighbor to move the sprinkler. When police arrived neither party was home, the sprinkler was on but the water wasn’t hitting the driveway in question.

Found in the Amhurst Bee

Amherst, NY
A Glen Avenue resident told police that there were two people taking pictures on the property and that they might be naked. The suspects were fully clothed professional photographers and not on the property.

Found in the Amhurst Bee

Orange County, CA
A motorist reported that the passenger of another vehicle threw something into her car that exploded and contained some sort of “toxic substance.” Officers contacted the motorist and determined that nothing had been thrown and the “toxic substance” was coming from an old bottle of milk that had exploded inside her car, 10:05 p.m.

Found in the Orange County Register

Lakewood, OH
A caller heard what sounded like a fight at 1:30 a.m. Sunday, August 12 in a Clifton Boulevard building. Police said there was no fight; however, a woman apparently did yell in pain after hurting herself. It seems that she was putting out Christmas decorations and tripped over one of the boxes.

Found in the Lakewood Sun Post

Atlanta, GA
At about 1 AM, a man called police from his apartment on Peachtree Road. He said a burglar was holding a gun to his head. Police raced to his apartment, where the front door was partially open. The caller was sitting on the sofa, watching a porn video. He wasn’t wearing any pants — or underwear, for that matter. The man said there was no burglar in his apartment, and in fact, he made up the story. Police noticed several crack pipes on the living-room table. The man, 41, went to jail for reporting a fake crime.

Found in Creative Loafing