Small Town Misfit

Goleta Valley, CA
Carefully disguising rolls of nickels as rolls of quarters, a con artist entered a Fairview Avenue bank, exchanging the fraudulent rolls for $400 in cash. A bank employee made the discovery after the exchange took place and the thief was no longer in the area.

According to the report, the suspect disguised the rolls of nickels by placing two quarters at the end of each roll and binding the nickels with athlete’s tape. The nickel deposit totaled $81.71 rather than $400.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Scorro County, NM
A man reported at 11:11 a.m. that he had received checks totaling over $1 million and all the checks received had been bogus. He said they have been written on a bogus account or company, and that he does not know why he is getting the checks as no explanation is ever inserted into the envelopes with the checks. He stated he has a Web site called “Free American” and possibly this is the reason.

Found in the Small Town News Service

Goleta Valley, CA
Claiming his eyes had been “bleached by the sun on a recent trip to Jordan,” a young man tried to convince an Isla Vista bartender the photo on his identification card was, indeed, him. In an attempt to prove his point, the subject flagged down a nearby patrolling deputy. It was apparent to the deputy as well that the photo on the card was not the same person as the cardholder. In fact, the deputy pointed out, the eye color recorded on the card did not match. After a lengthy debate, the subject, 19, admitted his guilt.

After his arrest for providing false information to an officer, the officer asked: “Why?”
In response, the regretful, underage subject resident replied simply, “I’m a fool.”

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Atlanta, GA
At Phipps Plaza, someone called police and said a man dressed like a woman walked into Barney’s New York and wrote a bad check for some items. Two officers scoured the mall and found the female impersonator, who was now standing with a 33-year-old male magazine editor. The female impersonator took off running. Police detained the magazine editor and determined he had nothing to do with the bad check. According to the police report, the female impersonator wrote a bad check for $274.32 … and the female impersonator also left behind his purse, which contained $306.52 in cash. (Note: For those of you who despise math, the female impersonator apparently had enough cash on him to cover whatever he bought with the bad check.) His purse also contained more fake checks and a fake North Carolina ID, police said.

Found in Creative Loafing

Morgan County, GA
On April 17 a counterfeiting complaint was filed at a Eatonton Road auto parts store after a manager of the store reported that while he was counting the store’s money he noticed two $10 bills that appeared to counterfeit. Reports state that the bills appeared to be reproduced on common copy paper and that the edges were not even. Also, the back of the bill was upside down in relation to the front.

Found in the Morgan County Citizen

Jupiter, FL
Employees at a bank in the 6400 block of West Indiantown Road said a man wearing a wig and impersonating a woman tried to cash her stolen check by using her signature and stolen driver’s license. The woman’s purse and identification had been stolen in Boynton Beach. The man fled without getting any money.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

Gresham, OR
Police arrested Robert Dale Wood, 43, of Portland, on charges of first-degree attempted theft, first-degree forgery and identity theft at a bank in the 400 block of Northwest Burnside Road at 4:20 p.m. Thursday, March 23, according to a police report.

The man tried to pass a forged check for $922.37, but a teller noticed that it was written on an account closed due to fraudulent activity the week before and called the police. Officers contacted the man, who said “Willy,” a man he met in jail, gave him the check. The suspect knew the check was fake but didn’t think he’d get caught. He also told police that he was in jail for a similar crime, but that he was really trying to straighten out his life and couldn’t believe he’d screwed up again.

Found in the Gresham Outlook

Palm Beach, FL
A woman was arrested for using a counterfeit traveler’s check to buy a Sony PlaySation at a store in the 6200 block of Forest Hill Boulevard. When police questioned the woman she said, “I know what you’re arresting me for, I won’t do it again, just let me go and I will ride the bus back to Lauderhill.” Once police confirmed her check was counterfeit, she told police her cousin and another man gave her the check. She also added that the same people had more checks totaling at least $6,000 as well as fake U.S. currency.

Found in the Palm Beach Post