Small Town Misfit

Bozeman, MT
A door was in the northbound lane of South 19th Avenue. “Some type of animal head” was in the southbound lane of North 19th Avenue.

Found in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle

Brazoria, TX
A day after police found a 41?2-foot long water moccasin in the car of William Eric Johnson, authorities discovered a live, 6-foot alligator lounging in his back seat.

“It was like Crocodile Dundee, Brazoria style,” Brazoria Police Chief Neal Longbotham said.

Johnson, 30, had “several addresses,” including one in Tennessee but was possibly living at a trailer park in the 500 block of West San Bernard Street in Brazoria, Longbotham said. Johnson was charged with burglary of a habitation early Sunday after he was found with items missing from a trailer in the same park, Department of Public Safety Trooper Steven Stanfield said.

Johnson also was cited by a game warden for illegally possessing an alligator.

Johnson is accused of entering the trailer home of his employer’s son and stealing a Wii video game controller and a hair trimmer, among other items.

Longbotham said Johnson asked a neighbor to help him load some of the items into the Buick.

“A TV was too big for him to carry by himself, so he knocked on a door and asked for help getting it into his car,” Longbotham said. “The neighbor saw the man and the alligator and wanted no part of that.”

Johnson apparently drove toward Angleton on Highway 35 with the alligator loose in the back seat, police said. He caught Stanfield’s attention upon making a U-Turn near the intersection of highways 35 and 288.

“He made a second U-Turn and almost hit a car at a stop sign on the feeder road,” Stanfield said. “I pulled him over and, lo and behold, he had a 6-foot alligator in the back seat.

“He said he found it on the road and decided to get out and capture it,” Stanfield said. “It’s mouth wasn’t taped, it wasn’t bound. It was crawling around in the guy’s car. … He said he was taking him to a friend’s house.”

Be sure to check out the rest of the story in The Facts

Thanks Kathy!

Durango, CO
10:34 a.m. A man reported that someone was trying to spit on him in the 900 block of East Second Avenue.

Found in the Durango Herald

Chico, CA
12:18 a.m. Sex fondle and battery reported on the 1000 block of Nord Avenue. “Female reporting party went behind Speedy Burrito to urinate, and when she pulled down her pants to get the deed done, a transient sleeping nearby asked for oral sex while she was there. She freaked, ran off in a drunken stupor, tripped and bit her lip.”

Found in the Orion

Kalispel, MT
A daycare owner on Shady Lane in Kalispell called in to report that her neighbor had parked their motor home by her driveway and was improperly dumping their waste. The woman was worried about health issues and her daycare.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Durango, CO
A man reported that his grandmother was harassing him via text messages, according to a report in the 3900 block of Colorado Highway 151, in southeast La Plata county.

Found in the Durango Herald

Grass Valley, CA
A caller from a store on the 300 block of Sacramento Street reported a suspicious-looking man was sucking on gas nozzles and scaring customers and employees. He was wearing white-and-black polka dot pajamas. Police arrested the man on suspicion of trespassing and booked him into jail. The jail would not accept the man, and he was released to the custody of Behavioral Health Services for an evaluation at the hospital emergency room.

Found in the Union

Columbia, SC
A 35-year-old man who works at a Dollar Store on Two Notch Road hit on a 60-year-old woman Feb. 6. The man told her, “I’d like to have my way with you,” and, “If you were a younger woman I would put you up on a table and have you dance for me.” The woman said she felt uncomfortable and called the police to make a report.

Found in the Free Times

Tonawanda, NY
A Town of Tonawanda gas station attendant got an early Valentine’s Day present that he didn’t want Wednesday night.

While the man was working his shift around 9:30 p.m., Lewis S. Mancini, 56, allegedly entered the store and gave the man a Valentine’s pillow, according to reports. Mancini then allegedly gave the man a nude photograph of himself with his phone number written on the back, and when the man looked back up Mancini had dropped his plaid shorts to expose himself, according to reports.

After the exposure, Mancini allegedly pulled up his shorts and took off running toward his apartment. When police followed the tracks of Mancini’s sandals left in the fresh snow to his door and confronted him about the incident, Mancini allegedly admitted to the exposure, claiming that he liked the attendant, according to reports.

Found in the Tonawanda News

Charleston, SC
A group of people leaving church saw a naked man smashing a guitar on the basketball court across the street. When the naked man noticed the crowd, he put the guitar down, turned around, and bent over, shaking his own musical instruments at the horrified congregation.

Found in the Charleston City Paper

Charleston, SC
A man filed a complaint about an argument with his wife that turned a little violent (she bit, choked, shoved, and slapped him around). Then it turned really violent (she “tried to stick my penis in my butt”).

Found in the Charleston City Paper

Charlotte, NC
A man called a woman recently and said, “This is your neighbor from four doors down. I need to tell you what you’ve done wrong at night. I’ve seen you through your windows, and I have naked pictures of you, which could be really embarrassing if I sold them on the Internet. Do you want to do what I say so I won’t put them on the Internet? If you have good character you will not tell anyone I’ve called.”

Found in Creative Loafing