Small Town Misfit

Tracy, CA
3:01 a.m.: A caller on the 200 block of West Carlton Way reported an ongoing problem with a couple that is having sex against a fence outside his apartment. Three people were watching the couple partake on this particular night.

Found in the Tracy Press

Waynesboro, GA
A 16-year-old Waynesboro boy was arrested after he showed police too much crack.

According to a report filed at the Waynesboro Police Department, the teen was walking around Magnolia Acres last week with no shirt and sagging pants which showed most of his underwear.

Chief Investigator Gene Boseman said that as a crowd gathered, the boy was told several times to pull up his pants and put on a shirt. Instead he said a few choice words and completely dropped his drawers.

When officers tried to apprehend him, he ran around the neighborhood acting “facetious” and pretending it was a joke.

Finally, he turned himself in on numerous charges including indecency and obstruction.

Investigator Boseman said police plan to cite anyone spotted with sagging pants.

“If you come to Waynesboro with your pants hanging down, we have a charge for you,” he said.

For first-time violations, juveniles will be officially warned and their parents notified, he said. After that, they’ll be charged. Those over 16 won’t get a warning.

Found in the True Citizen

Atlanta, GA
Around 2 a.m., police spotted a naked man screaming on Auburn Avenue. The man “was exposing his penis and buttocks and shaking,” an officer wrote. The naked man yelled, “Help! Get the snake out of my pants. Help!” The officer said he tried to calm the man. “There was not a snake in his pants, so I ordered him to put his clothes back on,” the officer wrote. The man, age 37, was arrested for public indecency.

Found in Creative Loafing

Charleston, SC
Officers responded to a call complaining of a loud pool party on Center Street in Folly Beach on July 6, according to a public safety report.

When officers arrived, they found five people around the pool and two men in it, one of whom was nude.

The naked 26-year-old man was asked to get out of the pool and get dressed. He had trouble standing when he got out, put on a towel and said with slurred speech that he was not nude, reports say.

The man was issued a ticket for disorderly conduct and was given a court date.

Found in the Post and Courier

Goleta Valley, CA
A man is wanted for assault after trying to remove a young woman’s underwear as she slept in Isla Vista.
The UCSB student, 20, was startled awake at 3:45 a.m. Quickly sitting up in her bed, the she saw a figure kneeling nearby. Turning on her bedroom light, she confronted the male, who said something unintelligible and turned to leave.

The victim told authorities she had to unlock her front door before the suspect with black hair and in his 20s could leave her apartment. Once he was out of the house, the woman immediately called authorities.

Deputies and university police canvassed the area for the suspect, believed to be wearing cowboy boots, with no results. The victim believes the suspect entered her Del Playa residence through an unlocked sliding glass door.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Appleton, WI
A caller reported being concerned about an elderly man living in the 2400 block of Joyce Street after she saw him come out of a house a few times naked and sit on a deer statue in the backyard. Police talked to the man, who denied it. They said he appeared mentally ill and contacted his family. They planned to make a doctor’s appointment for him.

Found in the Post-Crescent

Atlanta, GA
Around 1:30 p.m., an officer saw a nude man sleeping in a parking lot. “[He] had no clothes on and could be seen by anyone in the lot and by cars passing by on Peachtree Street,” the officer wrote. “[He] did have some clothes next to him.” The officer woke up the man and told him to get dressed. The 26-year-old man was arrested for indecency.

Found in Creative Loafing

Strongsville, OH
An Ohio State Highway Patrol trooper reported seeing a naked man in the grass just off the turnpike near West 130th Street.

The sight got even more bizarre when the man jumped on a John Deere tractor to get away.

The incident took place about 5:20 p.m. May 28.

The trooper called Strongsville police for assistance when he realized the man was on the other side of the fence and could not be reached from the turnpike. He watched the man ride the tractor to Blazey Trail, a report said.

Officers found the tractor, but no one was around — clothed or otherwise. They knocked on the door where it was found, but no one answered.

The trooper said he would follow up on the incident.

Found in the Sun Star

Goleta Valley, CA
Two women, 46 and 45, gave beachgoers a thrill when others found them showering nude at a Goleta Beach public restroom. Witnesses say the females were “thrusting their breasts in a lewd manner” while onlookers took photographs of the daring duo.

On the scene just before 8 p.m., deputies met the women — now dressed — lounging on the grass outside the restroom. A witness, who remained on the scene until authorities arrived, signed a citizen’s arrest form to have the two “provocative women” arrested.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Erie County, NY
A Lancaster man was charged with public lewdness on Como Park Boulevard. Police found the man with a pair of boxer shorts around his ankles. The suspect told police he was” getting a tan.”

Found in the Bee News

Grass Valley, CA
10:20 a.m. - A woman in the police station lobby was asking for a shower.

Found in the Union

Rio Grande, NM
4:21 a.m. — A State Road 76 caller said a woman just passed Las Lomas Apartments with no pants on. He couldn’t provide any other information about her. Police couldn’t find a pants-less woman in the roadway.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun