Small Town Misfit

Rio Grande, NM
4:21 a.m. — A State Road 76 caller said a woman just passed Las Lomas Apartments with no pants on. He couldn’t provide any other information about her. Police couldn’t find a pants-less woman in the roadway.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Richland, PA
David Cawley, 18, of Iroquois Avenue in McCandless waived a hearing March 28 on a charge of simple assault. Northern Regional police said that on March 19, Cawley, who was naked, jumped head-first into the open window of an officer’s patrol car in the 5600 block of Community Center Drive. Police said he injured the officer and two paramedics when taken into custody.

Found in the Pittsburgh Tribune Review

Redwood City, CA
4:56 a.m. March 31 A man exposed himself to a woman who took a photograph to use as evidence.

Found in the Mercury News

Los Alimitos, CA
Police received a call at 5:57 a.m. on Saturday from the 5100 block of Kearsarge Avenue regarding suspicious circumstances. A naked man in his 20s knocked on the caller’s door. He was wearing no clothes whatsoever.

The caller said he did not let the man in. His neighbor had a party the night before and the caller said he thought the naked man could have been from there, according to police reports.
Police arrived on scene and found the man in a back yard. After counseling with him, the naked man said he would comply.

Found in the Orange County Register

Jeffco, CO
A Jefferson County Sheriff’s deputy was sent to the Golden Panda Restaurant, 7470 S. Pierce St. at 3:30 March 14 on a report of a disturbance. A woman at the restaurant told the deputy she had gone to the bathroom and when she returned her table had been cleared off and her cell phone was missing.

While the deputy was talking to the woman, she started emptying her pockets and lifted her shirt, revealing a white sports bra with a cell phone held between her breasts. When the deputy tried to ask her about the phone the woman grabbed her children, screamed, “You’ll hear from my lawyer,” went outside and drove off in a gold van with the front hubcap missing. The deputy followed the woman outside, but could not get a license number from the van.

The deputy spoke to the restaurant owners who said they both saw the woman place the phone in her bra while standing in the bar area. The deputy told the owners to call the sheriff’s office if the woman returned.

Found in the Jeffco Sheriff’s Blotter

Athens, GA
A 72-year-old Oakwood Terrace woman looked out her window Thursday evening and saw a naked man hosing himself down outside her house, Athens-Clarke police said.

When the woman called out, the man told her that his friend had dared him to dive into her pond, and that he wanted to rinse off because the water was dirty, according to police.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Chico, CA
6:20 p.m. Resisting a peace officer on the 2300 block of Forest Avenue. “…There is a male subject locked in the men’s bathroom entirely naked inside the stall. Subject has been in there for over 25 minutes.”

And…

10:56 p.m. Suspicious subject reported on the 200 block of Humboldt Avenue. “Female walked by reporting party’s house … she was totally naked and seemed very drunk.”

Found in the Orion

Tonawanda, NY
A Town of Tonawanda gas station attendant got an early Valentine’s Day present that he didn’t want Wednesday night.

While the man was working his shift around 9:30 p.m., Lewis S. Mancini, 56, allegedly entered the store and gave the man a Valentine’s pillow, according to reports. Mancini then allegedly gave the man a nude photograph of himself with his phone number written on the back, and when the man looked back up Mancini had dropped his plaid shorts to expose himself, according to reports.

After the exposure, Mancini allegedly pulled up his shorts and took off running toward his apartment. When police followed the tracks of Mancini’s sandals left in the fresh snow to his door and confronted him about the incident, Mancini allegedly admitted to the exposure, claiming that he liked the attendant, according to reports.

Found in the Tonawanda News

Charleston, SC
A group of people leaving church saw a naked man smashing a guitar on the basketball court across the street. When the naked man noticed the crowd, he put the guitar down, turned around, and bent over, shaking his own musical instruments at the horrified congregation.

Found in the Charleston City Paper

Athens, GA
A naked man with his body slathered with petroleum jelly was arrested Tuesday evening after a woman complained he was lurking outside her apartment at Dougherty Commons.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Chattanooga, TN
A woman on Forestdale Lane said her husband began acting crazy soon after she got home. She said he got naked and went outside.

She was able to get him back in the house, then he started slapping her.

Police came to the door and a naked man answered. Officers got him to put on some pants.

The wife had red marks on her face and back from the slapping, police said.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Chico, CA
1:09 a.m. Suspicious subject reported on the 1400 block of Yosemite Drive. “Subject on the side of the road tried to jump into the back of reporting party’s truck … subject had stripped naked … he had gone into the roadway and was bending over, mooning them. She had to drive around him.”

Found in the Orion