Small Town Misfit

Mukilteo, WA
Officers contacted three juveniles who were smearing human feces on the exterior doors/windows of the middle school. The juveniles were identified. Arrangements were made with school officials for the juveniles to clean off the feces. The juveniles were then released to parents.

Found in the Mukilteo Beacon

Kalispel, MT
A daycare owner on Shady Lane in Kalispell called in to report that her neighbor had parked their motor home by her driveway and was improperly dumping their waste. The woman was worried about health issues and her daycare.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Orange County, CA
A taxi driver told police at 1:42 a.m. Saturday that a female customer had gotten out of the cab near Heil Avenue and Rhine Drive and defecated in the street.

The woman then got back in the cab and gave directions to her residence but when they arrived, the house wasn’t hers.
Police arrived and assisted the woman in finding her home.

Found in the OC Register

Grass Valley, CA
At 10:12 a.m., a caller from the 21000 block of Maben Road reported that someone had broken into the house and defecated inside.

Found in the Union

Bozeman, MT
• A man was “hog tied” outside a home on Rose Street after he started fighting with people. When officers arrived, the man was tied up on the sidewalk. An officer gave him a ride home.

• A child on South Church Avenue called 911 because he was mad at his mom.

• A woman on South 14th Avenue told police that someone put dog poop on her friend’s vehicle.

• Teenagers were in the lobby of the Law and Justice Center. They wanted to photograph an officer for a scavenger hunt.

• Four men in a vehicle on West Madison Avenue flashed passersby with a nude picture of a woman.

Found in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle

Atlanta, GA
Three men from South Carolina were visiting Atlanta. They called police to their hotel room. One man, 20, said he and his friends were in town for a concert at the Masquerade. He said they searched the Internet for the closest hotel to the Masquerade — and that’s how they wound up at the hotel on Ponce de Leon Avenue. The officer asked them to explain exactly why they called police to their hotel room. The 20-year-old man said he walked into the hotel room and immediately noticed there was no smoke detector. Then, he said, he opened the bathroom door and noticed the towels had yellow and brown human feces on them. He said his friends tried to turn on the radiator, and the knob fell off and the radiator was extremely hot to the touch. The officer examined the hotel room and “confirmed the room was just as [the 20-year-old man] stated.”

The officer explained that this was a civil issue and nothing criminal had occurred. He did file a police report for a health-code violation. The officer noted, “I also told the gentlemen that since the receipt stated on it ‘no refunds,’ that this issue was for a courtroom.” The three men left the hotel without a refund. Welcome to Atlanta!

Found in Creative Loafing

Chattanooga, TN
Officials at the Post Office on S. Hawthorne Street said once again someone has defecated in the parking area.

Postal officials installed a camera, “but the offender moved his location out of what has been his normal area of occurrence.”

Officials are to continue monitoring the camera and adjust its line of sight.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Grass Valley, CA
At 7:14 p.m., a man called from the 16000 block of Annie Drive to report that he found animal feces and a note in his mailbox. The man also stated the incident was part of an ongoing issue with animal feces. He said he put animal feces in a bag and tied it around a dog’s neck. The dog’s owner put the feces in the caller’s mailbox.

Found in the Union

Boerne, TX

Found in the Boerne Star

Middlefield, OH
A case of missing manure in this Amish community has a village street cleaner so upset that she reported the messy poop pilferer to police.

It seems that someone, perhaps a home gardener, is taking manure droppings from hitching rail posts outside stores in Middlefield, located about 30 miles east of Cleveland.

The hitching posts are a common site in the Amish country of Geauga County and are used by Amish to secure their buggy horses while they shop.

Lisza Wright, who gets paid $25,000 a year by Middlefield to clean the three dozen hitching rail areas daily, told police last month that someone has been taking manure, with the manure left behind getting spread out and packed down, making her job harder.

Police Chief Joe Stehlik suspects a gardener looking for fertilizer.

Found by BornRandy in the San Francisco Chronicle. Thanks BornRandy!

Rio Grande, NM
4:53 p.m. – A truck from Reggie’s Septic Service was spilling sewage all over the road as it drove down Highway 84/285, another motorist reported.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Bozeman, MT
A resident of North River Rock Drive claimed his neighbor, upset about the resident’s dog going to the bathroom in his yard, smeared dog feces on the resident’s lawn furniture and left an angry note.

Found in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle