Small Town Misfit

Goleta Valley, CA
A man is wanted for assault after trying to remove a young woman’s underwear as she slept in Isla Vista.
The UCSB student, 20, was startled awake at 3:45 a.m. Quickly sitting up in her bed, the she saw a figure kneeling nearby. Turning on her bedroom light, she confronted the male, who said something unintelligible and turned to leave.

The victim told authorities she had to unlock her front door before the suspect with black hair and in his 20s could leave her apartment. Once he was out of the house, the woman immediately called authorities.

Deputies and university police canvassed the area for the suspect, believed to be wearing cowboy boots, with no results. The victim believes the suspect entered her Del Playa residence through an unlocked sliding glass door.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Lake Worth, FL
A man in the 700 block of North K Street said a stranger approached him and asked for directions. The man later noticed the stranger in an alley, so he became suspicious and decided to follow him on his bicycle. The man saw the stranger carrying several fishing poles. When he realized he was being watched, the stranger began to run away.

The man then alerted his neighbor, who checked her storage shed and noticed her fishing poles were missing. Both the man and his neighbor tried to chase the unknown man. Police found him hiding in an apartment in the 600 block of North L Street. Several other fishing poles also were in the apartment. He was charged with residential burglary and grand theft.

Found in the Lake Worth Post

Isla Vista, CA
Sunday, Nov. 26, 12:01 a.m. - An officer responded to a call for service on the 6600 block of Trigo Road after receiving a report that a 19-year-old man had broken into his girlfriend’s house.

The subject, who had just been pushed out of the residence by people inside, was attempting to climb up onto the balcony when the deputy made contact with him.

The officer immediately noticed that the discombobulated delinquent was extremely intoxicated.

During questioning, the man could not tell the officer where he lived, because he had “drank three bottles of Gatorade mixed with vodka.”

The subject repeatedly tried to tell officers something, but could not manage to put together a coherent sentence. As the man’s growing frustration got the better of him, he began to cry.

Officers then arrested the man for public intoxication. While deputies transported him to jail, the man became very emotional and again started to cry.

The subject confessed that his girlfriend had just broken up with him, and he had only wanted to give her a birthday card. The man admitted that he had made a mistake by drinking too much “cheap” vodka and apologized to officers for getting plastered.

The man was booked at the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Found in the Daily Nexus

Anchorage, AK
On June 2, a concerned citizen called Palmer police to report a man in a long black trench coat strolling down the road, brandishing a five-foot sword. Five months later, the strange specter appeared again. At Midnight on November 7, a Palmer resident reported a man dressed all in black standing near a cluster of shopping carts outside Carrs. According to the caller, the man was carrying a sword in a sheath and mumbling to himself. By the time an officer arrived, he had disappeared.

Found in the Anchorage Press

Chico, CA
4:39 p.m. Urinating in public reported on the 600 block of West Eighth Street. “Reporting party got home and found a subject in her backyard urinating on her vehicle. Reporting party told him to stop, and the subject flipped her off and continued on his way.”

Found in the Orion Online

Springfield, MT
3:47 p.m., 700 block 64th St. Caller reported her kids were playing in the front yard when a man walking down the street came over and told them he was the “pizza man.” He asked them if they thought “my pizza is good,” and asked them how old he was. Then he left, and police couldn’t find him.

Found in the Springfield News

Durgango, CO
12:08 a.m. A woman heard three or four men possibly climbing up the side of her house using a rope in the 100 block of West 32nd Street.

Found in the Durango Herald

Marblehead, MA
Report of a Lafayette Street resident concerned about a person kneeling by the river behind her house, at 2:34p.m. According to the report, the person “appeared to be reaching for something in the river” and had been there “for awhile.” After using a pair of binoculars to look closer, however, the caller realized that what she had thought to be a kneeling person was actually a rock.

Found in Marblehead Magazine

Chadron, NE
1:59 p.m. Caller from the 400 block of Third Street advised of a strange man that’s been hanging around the above location. Caller advised that a subject has been calling her and her employees and singing Elvis songs to them.

Found in The Chadron Record

Erie County, NY
A man wearing a bra and underwear was reported in a Cheektowaga cemetery.

Found in Bee News

Bentonville, AR
At 8:52 p.m. Saturday, Becky Bumpus, at 909 Durham Place, reported a white male wearing either a skirt or towel was hiding in the bushes and claiming to be a bounty hunter.

Found in the Daily Record

Fergus Falls, Minn.

Police are trying to determine if a man was telling the truth when he claimed that he was attacked by a man holding a gun Thursday night on the 900 block of East Vernon.

The alleged victim told police that he ran six blocks when attacked, and was able to give a description that the man was wearing a mask.

Police said they did not find anybody out walking in the area who was wearing a mask.

Found in The Fergus Falls Daily Journal