Small Town Misfit

Flatbush, NY
Police allege that George Tsotadze, a resident of the 1340 block of East 69th Street, was arrested on petit larceny charges after he was allegedly caught secreting several sticks of salami into his pants as he shopped at a grocery on the 2250 block of East 16th Street.

The spicy shoplifting attempt was spotted by a security guard, who stopped him as he allegedly tried to leave the store with his meat treats.

The sausage - $75 worth - was recovered.

Found in Flatbush Life

Lakewood, OH
A man made off with $100 worth of condoms at 3:30 a.m. from the CVS Pharmacy on Clifton Boulevard after wrestling with a store employee.

The robbery took place after a similar incident was reported on June 8.

Both times employees described the robber as being tall, slender and approximately 30 years old.

The individual was last seen running northbound on West 117th Street.

Found in the Lakewood Sun Post

Hamilton County, OH
For the third time in a month, police have arrested someone for stealing from the blind owner of the deli inside the Hamilton County Courthouse.

Andre Wilson, 43, of Winton Hills, was arrested at 8:30 a.m. today by sheriff’s deputies and charged with two counts of theft.

Kent Parker, the blind owner of the deli, contacted deputies about several items missing from his shop. Deputy Ken Pendleton reviewed videotape from the deli and identified Wilson as the man stealing a fruit pie and drink – valued at $2.30 – from the shop.

At 8:13 a.m. today, Wilson walked into the Courthouse and then into Parker’s first-floor deli.

He was seen stuffing milk, apple pies, juice and 13 Slim Jims – valued at $9.75 — in his pants without paying for the items, the sheriff’s office said.

He was arrested and charged with theft for the two incidents.

Because the charges involve stealing from someone who is blind, each of the charges is a felony.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Socorro, NM
An officer was sent to a store in the 900 block of South Highway 85 at 2:10 a.m. on a report of a man opening and eating the contents of a packaged sandwich on the shelf and drinking a cup of coffee. The officer escorted him out of the business, but he refused to respond to the officer. The sandwich-eater was told that he was under arrest, but he pretended not to hear. As one officer tried to arrest the hungry man, he resisted. Sandwich-eating-fool then put one officer in a headlock, kicked another and tried to kick a third. He was stunned with a Tazer twice. After being treated at the hospital, he was incarcerated. Damage $43 plus one ham sandwich and one bad cup of coffee.

Found in the Small Town News Service

Columbia, SC
A man in his late 20s or early 30s entered Total Wine on Harbison Boulevard on April 13 and left with almost $1,000 in alcohol hidden under his clothing. After the man perused the shelves of high-end liquor, apparently finding nothing that tickled his taste buds, he proceeded to the champagne area and loaded up and left. Later, the store clerk viewed the security video and discovered that the man had taken three bottles of champagne — two Dom Perignon and one Veuve Rose — with a total value of $999.

Found in the Free Times

Everett, WA
A Seattle man has been charged with a slew of crimes that involved an alleged shoplifting, assaults and a pet duck named Mr. Peepers. Snohomish County Deputy Prosecutor Paul Stern on Thursday charged Kenneth Blaine Quinlan, 35, with two counts of third-degree assault and one count each of vehicular assault and hit-and-run.

Authorities say that on March 23, Quinlan and his 39-year-old girlfriend drove to a Lynnwood shopping center, where he entered a Linens ‘n Things outlet and she went into a Petco store, taking the duck with her.

Stern wrote in court papers that a security guard thought he saw Quinlan shoplift an iPod speaker system, and a scuffle ensued.

Police say the guard chased Quinlan to the Petco store, where Quinlan got the car keys from his girlfriend and tried to escape.

The man jumped into the driver’s seat of the car as the woman walked out of the store with her duck. Not knowing what was going on, she tried to stop him from driving away and was knocked down by the open car door as it backed up. She dropped the duck.

A Petco employee saw what was happening and “ran to save Peepers from the front of the car” just as Quinlan drove forward, Stern wrote. The car ran over the woman, inflicting serious injuries including broken bones in her foot and ankle, he said.

Charging papers say Quinlan continued driving and didn’t stop until his vehicle struck another car nearby.

The girlfriend and guard were not seriously hurt. Mr. Peepers was OK.

Quinlan was being held in the Snohomish County Jail in lieu of $25,000 bail. A convicted felon and former heroin addict, he told officers that he’d just received a dose of methadone at a Lynnwood clinic and had used cocaine a few days earlier, according to court papers.

Found in the Olympian

Thanks Nightmare1970!

Goleta Valley, CA
With one working as lookout, and the other acting without haste, two subjects managed to hide over 30 DVDs in their purses. After paying for a few select items, the women exited the store without paying for the hoard of movies.

When contacted by store security in the parking lot, one female blurted, “I’m not a thief, but I came in to steal DVDs because I never got my tires.”

The other woman claims to have “panicked” when she realized they were actually stealing the DVDs.

The women were arrested for commercial burglary despite the excuses.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Click on over to Creative Loafing. They’ve got a fantastic collection of blotter bests, from $1.99 hookers to posessed chessboards. Here’s a sample:

Atlanta, GA
At Lenox Mall, security guards said a man walked into a department store, grabbed a Girbaud suit, rolled it up and left the store.

A few minutes later, the man walked back into the same store. Now he was wearing the suit that he allegedly just stole. Security guards stopped him. They said the man took off the suit and ripped it up — then he poured ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise on the suit.

Again, the man left the store. This time, security guards caught him.

Found in Creative Loafing

Columbia, SC
A man entered S-Mart on Two Notch Road on Jan. 26, popped open a cold brew and proceeded to drink it inside the store. The suspect refused to pay for the beverage, because he had no money.

Found in the Free Times

Warrensville, OH
A Warrensville Heights teen, her mother and grandmother were arrested at about 2:35 p.m. Jan. 18 after they allegedly beat up a worker at Old Navy, 6025 Kruse Drive.

Witnesses said the girl, 15, and two women, 22 and 43, were standing around a merchandise table when the worker approached. She asked the girl and women to move so she could work on the table.

One of the assailants whipped her jacket at the worker’s face, knocking off her glasses and headset. Another grabbed the worker’s hair and pulled her to the floor.

The three began punching and kicking the worker while she lay on the floor. One of the assailants threatened to shoot the worker.

A male customer grabbed the worker off the floor and dragged her to the back of the store to rescue her. That’s when police arrived. The worker had “minor visible injuries” on her head and broken fingernails.

All three assailants were charged with misdemeanor assault. The mother was also charged with disorderly conduct because she used a profanity when addressing an officer. She said, “Get your hands off me, (BLANK), I’m pregnant.”

The mother was wanted in Warrensville Heights for failure to appear in court.

The teen was turned over to her other grandmother, who was in the store but did not take part in the attack.

Police said shoplifters have recently targeted Old Navy and that these women may or may not have been involved.

Found in the Solon Herald Sun

Cincinnati, OH
The well-intentioned actions of onlookers at the Remke’s grocery in Newport ended up helping an alleged thief go free, and almost put the security officer on her trail in danger.

The whole affair started with a $3 bottle of shampoo. That’s what Remke’s Loss Prevention Officer Shelby Sebastian told police he saw a short white woman with curly black hair take from the store about 11 a.m. on Dec. 2.

Sebastian followed. But, when he tried to stop the woman, she pitched a very public fit outside the busy store.

“She began to struggle and screamed for help, as if she was being attacked,” the offense report states.

Shoppers saw what they took to be a young woman struggling with a man, screaming for help. Anyone would have sprung to her aid and the bystanders at the Carothers Road grocery that morning were no exception.

“Concerned bystanders grabbed (Officer Sebastian) and allowed the suspect to flee. By the time (Sebastian) was able to explain the situation to the well-meaning, but uninformed bystanders, suspect was getting into her car.”

Determined to get his woman, Sebastian rushed to the woman’s green Pontiac Bonneville where his suspect and two young children were seated. But, as he leaned into the car to detain his suspect, she peeled out of the parking lot.

Though Newport police used license plate information to identify the suspect - whom they believe is from Bellevue - they have been unable to find her.

Sebastian did not return calls about the incident, but police are stilling trying to apprehend that day’s damsel-in-distress-who-wasn’t. And if they do, she will find her petty shampoo theft might end up costing her years in jail if she is convicted of an additional felony charge of wanton endangerment.

Those who mistakenly helped her escape will not be charged, police said.

Found in the NKY.com
Thanks Luann!

Delray Beach, FL
A man was arrested after he was seen eating an entire cooked chicken and jalapeno peppers in the aisle of a grocery store in the 1500 block South Federal Highway and taking an AirWick oil refill without paying.

Found in the Palm Beach Post