Small Town Misfit

Chattanooga, TN
Police were called to a store on Highway 153 after a female clerk said she was frightened by questions asked by two white males.

She said the men asked when she was closing, when was the last time she had been robbed, and did she have anything to protect her against a robbery.

Officers located the men in the 5400 block of Highway 153.

Police said one of the men was the suspect who “set a female’s hair on fire.” No further details were given about that incident.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Durango, CO
A man was selling burritos and tacos door-to-door in Berndt Hall without a business license

Found in the Durango Herald

Jeffco, CO
A Jefferson County Sheriff’s deputy was sent to the Golden Panda Restaurant, 7470 S. Pierce St. at 3:30 March 14 on a report of a disturbance. A woman at the restaurant told the deputy she had gone to the bathroom and when she returned her table had been cleared off and her cell phone was missing.

While the deputy was talking to the woman, she started emptying her pockets and lifted her shirt, revealing a white sports bra with a cell phone held between her breasts. When the deputy tried to ask her about the phone the woman grabbed her children, screamed, “You’ll hear from my lawyer,” went outside and drove off in a gold van with the front hubcap missing. The deputy followed the woman outside, but could not get a license number from the van.

The deputy spoke to the restaurant owners who said they both saw the woman place the phone in her bra while standing in the bar area. The deputy told the owners to call the sheriff’s office if the woman returned.

Found in the Jeffco Sheriff’s Blotter

Kalispell, MT
1:19 p.m. Someone called in from Sunset Drive because there were arrows falling from the sky into their yard. A resident on Kings Way had been shooting them on their property. The shooter didn’t realize how far the arrows were going.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Goleta Valley, CA
A prospective juror was cited for disturbing the court when, during her interview, she began rambling about unrelated topics. The judge, concerned for her wellbeing, asked the agitated woman to leave the juror box.

While deputies escorted the woman, 56, out of the courtroom she continued her diatribe.

“Remember my name,” she shouted at other jurors as she was finally removed from the building.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Atlanta, GA
A 30-year-old man said he got home from work and found a checker/chess board in front of his apartment on Piedmont Avenue. A note was taped to the board. It read: “To [the man] from Satan. Welcome to hell. Play with me and you’ll see the dead. It’s not in your head Satan.”

Turns out the game board came from the lobby of the apartment complex.

The man said he didn’t know who was responsible for the threatening note/game board. Also, the man said he had been in conflict with evil spirits prior to this incident.

Found in Creative Loafing

Tracy, CA
10:57 p.m.: A man on the 1200 block of West 11th Street reported that he found black trash bags filled with marijuana while he was sifting through a trash bin, and he wanted to know if Crime Stoppers would give him a reward.

and…

8:57 a.m.: A caller from Hawkins Elementary School, 475 Darlene Lane, said that prescription bottles had been found in a trash bin.

Found in the Tracy Press

Brooklyn, OH
Workers at the Ohio License Bureau in Biddulph Plaza got a surprise Feb. 1 when a man trying to renew a fake identification card jumped over the counter in an attempt to retrieve his ill-gotten goods.

Employees called police after they tried to confiscate the man’s original fake ID.

According to witnesses, the man leaped over the counter and wrestled the card away from a worker before fleeing in the direction of the Giant Eagle grocery store. Police were unable to locate the suspect and his female accomplice.

Found in the Brooklyn Sun Journal

Grass Valley, CA
8:54 a.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Horizon Circle reported an agitated resident banging his head against the wall.

Found in the Union

Rio Grande, NM
10:43 p.m. — A caller said men were standing in the middle of McCurdy Road “trying to purposely get hit by a vehicle.” Police weren’t able to locate them.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Durango, CO
11:25 a.m. A hot tub was in a man’s front yard on La Plata Place, and it did not belong to him.

Found in the Durango Herald

Orange County, CA
Deputies responded to a welfare check call at 11:23 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 8 from a residence in Coto de Caza.

A woman on Hubbard Way reported that an iron had fallen on her husband’s head and she didn’t know what to do. The woman said she had called her insurance company before dialing 911.

The operator sent a deputy to check on the husband and called the Orange County Fire Authority for possible medical attention.

Found in the Orange County Regsiter