Small Town Misfit

Goleta Valley, CA
A man is wanted for assault after trying to remove a young woman’s underwear as she slept in Isla Vista.
The UCSB student, 20, was startled awake at 3:45 a.m. Quickly sitting up in her bed, the she saw a figure kneeling nearby. Turning on her bedroom light, she confronted the male, who said something unintelligible and turned to leave.

The victim told authorities she had to unlock her front door before the suspect with black hair and in his 20s could leave her apartment. Once he was out of the house, the woman immediately called authorities.

Deputies and university police canvassed the area for the suspect, believed to be wearing cowboy boots, with no results. The victim believes the suspect entered her Del Playa residence through an unlocked sliding glass door.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Goleta Valley, CA
With the pair of Victoria’s Secret panties he was wearing poking out from under his red denim jeans, a shirtless man approached a Kaiser Avenue home, talking gibberish and refusing to leave. The concerned homeowner, who had never seen the young man before, called authorities for help.

Arriving on the scene around 11:30 a.m., deputies located the subject talking to other residents nearby. Behaving oddly and unable to stand still, the 19-year-old was apprehended for further questioning. Explaining how “after years of pain” he was finally “loving himself,” the “frantic” man continued his one-sided dialogue of peace, love and joy.

When asked about trespassing the man replied, “I wouldn’t leave their property until they told me from the bottom of their heart they wanted me to leave.”

Believed to be under the influence of a hallucinogenic, he was arrested and transported to jail for further drug evaluation.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Tracy, CA
9:57 p.m.: A woman on the 1900 block of East Street called police after she arrived home to find her husband naked on the couch with another woman’s underwear.

Found in the Tracy Press

Atlanta, GA
Two officers were sent to deal with a man who allegedly broke into a car at Piedmont Park. A witness said a man went up to a Chevy SLV and took a hammer out of the truck bed — and then walked away. The man returned, picked up a rock and threw it at the driver’s side window — but the window didn’t break, the witness said. The man slammed the rock again, and the window broke, the witness said.

The man allegedly reached into the car and “took a white pillowcase filled with 47 pairs of women’s underwear and three Cheri porno magazines and then proceeded to walk away from the vehicle,” an officer wrote. Police found the man – still carrying the white pillowcase – on Monroe Drive. The man, age 38, was arrested for entering an auto. “The bag of underwear, magazines and the rock were placed into property as evidence,” the officer wrote.

Found in Creative Loafing

Chattanooga, TN
A woman who was stopped for running a stop sign on Ocoee Street gave a driver’s license that turned out to be her sister’s.

Police wound up charging both sisters and taking them to the County Jail.

The woman who was driving the car gave the license of Sylvia Porter. Police did a check and found there was an active warrant against her.

At that point, the driver said Syliva Porter is actually her sister.

She identified herself as Berlinda Jones. She said there was no insurance on the vehicle she was driving.

Police went to Wheeler Avenue, where they found Ms. Porter. She was taken into custody on the warrant.

Back on Ocoee Street, officers found a glass crack pipe and a metal push rod in Ms. Jones’ purse.

Numerous charges were filed against Ms. Jones, including running a stop sign, driving without a license and without insurance, criminal impersonation and possession of drug paraphernalia.

After a search at the County Jail, they added one more - possession of contraband in a penal institute. They found crack cocaine in her underwear.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Huntington Beach, CA
A caller reported at 8:50 p.m. Saturday that two women were “throwing televisions” or computers and beating them with a “police officer stick” in the 6200 block of Warner Avenue.

One woman, who was wearing only an orange shirt and underwear, “kept pulling down her bottoms.” The other woman was wearing an orange shirt, a black “cape,” an orange boa and deer antlers on her head.

Police responded and found that the women were trying to smash their own television and that no crime had been committed.

Found in the Orange County Register

Tracy, CA
6:12 p.m.: A person on the 2300 block of Saffron Court complained that a neighbor mows his lawn in his underwear.

Found in the Tracy Press

Goleta Valley, CA
Lounging at a bus stop in her pink underwear, the woman detained by patrolling deputies was arrested for public intoxication. During her arrest, the 42-year-old, oblivious to her lack of clothing, continually asked authorities the date and where she was. Three emptied cans of beer found at the scene were noted and booked for destruction.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Bozeman, MT
A man was trying on pants in the dressing room of a department store on West Main Street. The store closed while he was in the changing room. The man was locked inside the store and had no way out.

Found in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle

Missoulal, MT
University of Montana maintenance staff removed four pairs of women’s underwear that were clogging the toilet near the trail to the “M” following the Rolling Stones concert, said Capt. Jim Lemcke with the Office of Public Safety.

“I don’t know what was going on in there,” Lemcke said. “Maybe it’s just very powerful suction in the toilet.”
Another theory is that someone intended to throw the panties onstage, but couldn’t get a ticket, and instead abandoned them in the outhouse.

“If Babe wants her panties back, they’re a little damaged, but here they are,” Lemcke said.
In fact, Babe’s panties were turned over to the Kaimin. Please call the newsroom at 243-4310 to claim.

Found in the Montana Kaimin

Mason, OH
A Wayne Township firefighter was released from the Warren County jail about 7:30 a.m. today after he was charged Tuesday night with drunk driving and wearing a woman’s wig and bikini in a public park.

Steven S. Cole, 46, Waynesville, was arrested about 5 p.m. Tuesday after Mason police received a report of an intoxicated man at Heritage Oak Park.

He was charged with driving under the influence, having an open container, public indecency and disorderly conduct, jail officials said today.

Cole is scheduled to appear Thursday morning in Mason Municipal Court.

The Enquirer will continue to update this story as information develops.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Chico, CA
3:45 p.m. Sex fondle/battery reported on the 1400 block of Neal Dow Avenue. “Suspects gave victim a ‘wedgie,’ pulled up her underwear.”

Found in the Orion