Small Town Misfit

Malden, MA
John Farrell, 17, of 133 Rockland Rd., Medford, was minutes out of his court appearance for an unrelated crime at the Malden District Court Oct. 14, when, police said, he decided to steal a car for the ride home. Farrell targeted a vehicle near the Bebee School and had begun to break into it with a bent coat hanger when the owner of the car, a teacher at the Bebee School, saw the incident taking place from inside the school. Police were called, and Farrell was arrested on the charges of attempting to commit a crime and possession of a burglarious instrument.

Found in the Malden Observer

Danville, KY
8:16 a.m., welfare check requested on female standing in backyard on Walnut Street screaming into treeline; she advised she was looking for pet squirrel.
Found in The Advocate

Lake Tahoe, NV
A victim claimed that he had been battered at the Tahoe Biltmore. Several witnesses, who claimed they were sober, said that the victim turned around suddenly (apparently to run) after becoming involved in an argument and ran into a square mirrored post.

The subject was transported to Incline Hospital and then refused treatment. Medical personnel stated that his injury probably resulted from striking a sharp object, rather than being battered. The victim then changed his story several times and declined to make a report to police. Maybe his head hurt too much to remember what happened.

Found in The Bonanza

Erie County, NY
Police received a call from a husband in Snyder, who wanted police to explain “the finer points of living in the United States” to his Columbian wife who wants to leave.

Foun in Bee News

Nevada City, CA
At 7:20 a.m., a caller from the 300 block of Clay Street reported someone had apparently thrown a large amount of mayonnaise on two vehicles in the area.

Found in The Union

Columbia, SC
A father called police at 11:30 p.m. Wednesday to report that someone had spit on his daughter. The girl was working at the drive-through window of a fast-food restaurant. A customer was upset because of a problem with a food order and spit at her, the father said.

Found in The State

Palo Alto, CA
ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY WEAPON A 36-year-old woman was arrested about noon Tuesday after becoming impatient with a woman making a U-turn on Scott Street at Addison Avenue. She subsequently got out of her car, ordered the woman to roll down her window and, when she complied, punched the woman in the face.

Found in The Mercury News

Arcata, CA
A Valley West apartment dweller reported her landlord lingering around her front door, announcing that “I would love to fold your underwear,” and possibly shining a flashlight beam into her bathroom. To her, these services seemed to be somewhat outside the envelope of traditional landlord-tenant interaction, though for him they might be considered amenities.

Found in the Arcata Eye

Erie County, NY
A caller reported to police that they had just witnessed a cat being hit by a car. The person then called back to report that they too had run over the cat, which then reportedly limped away.

Found in Bee News

Erie County, NY
A one-pound propane can was placed in a sealed coffin that was then placed in the oven to be cremated. When the worker went to get the remains, all that was left was the burnt split open propane tank among them.

Found in Bee News

Palm Beach, FL
A woman was arrested for using a counterfeit traveler’s check to buy a Sony PlaySation at a store in the 6200 block of Forest Hill Boulevard. When police questioned the woman she said, “I know what you’re arresting me for, I won’t do it again, just let me go and I will ride the bus back to Lauderhill.” Once police confirmed her check was counterfeit, she told police her cousin and another man gave her the check. She also added that the same people had more checks totaling at least $6,000 as well as fake U.S. currency.

Found in the Palm Beach Post