Small Town Misfit

Erie County, NY
A Nadine Drive resident reported having some type of paint or petroleum product on her house, possibly from an airplane. Police found no cause for the complaint, it was goose droppings.

Found in Bee News

Durango, CO
1:54 a.m. Two women were screaming “We love snow” while jumping on a trampoline in the 700 block of East Fourth Avenue.

Found in the Durango Herald

Hilton Head, SC
Rita Miguel Caruso of 15 Ansley Court was hitting golf balls into her house and later began hitting golf balls at neighboring houses early that morning. After that, she began hitting several potted plants on the walkway of a neighbor’s house.

A witness said Caruso then retrieved a jar of honey and threw honey on the front door of a neighbor’s house and on the driveway and front bushes of another neighbor’s house, the report states.

She then poured honey into water in a ditch.

According to the report, Caruso then retrieved silly string and sprayed it on reindeers and the front door of a neighbor’s house before throwing the empty canister at a truck in the driveway.

The report states that when deputies arrived around 10:40 a.m. to speak with Caruso in the backyard of her house, she attempted to walk into the house and the deputies stopped her. As the deputies tried to detain her, Caruso kneed one of them in the groin area.

Found in the Island Packet

Gorham, ME
Truman Rd. caller reported a porcupine hanging around her yard again. The same thing happened last year and her husband tried to scare it away but it was not afraid of him.

Found in the Gorham Times

Chadron, NE
4:05 a.m. Received a 911 call from the 300 block of West Second St. Nobody would answer. At one point caller did say one word but then hung up. PD made a return call but was hung up on. Caller wanted cigarettes. Another party brought caller cigarettes and told her to go to sleep.

Found in The Chadron Record

Nevada County, CA
At 10:29 p.m., a caller reported a woman kneeling in Squirrel Creek Road wearing a fur coat and no pants. When the caller walked up to the woman, she began playing a flute. Deputies were unable to locate her.

Found in The Union

California State University
7:45 p.m. Disturbing subject reported on the 600 block of Mangrove Avenue. “Naked man dancing in the Laundromat, talking to himself, wearing a green cloth around his waist. Disposition: Subject doing his laundry and has a blanket wrapped around him. He was advised of proper laundry room etiquette.

Found in The Orion Online

Gresham, OR
A 29-year-old Gresham woman reportedly threw Pine-Sol® on her ex-boyfriend, a 27-year-old Corbett man, in the 1700 block of Northeast Elliot Place at 10:11 p.m. Wednesday, Nov. 2. The victim told police she threw the cleaner in his eyes. She said the man shoved her in front of their 4-year-old son.

When an officer arrived on the scene, he noted a strong smell of Pine-Sol® upon entering the duplex. He even lost his balance and slid on the wet floor. The woman informed him that he slid on Pine-Sol® she had thrown at her ex-boyfriend of two years.

She said he arrived to drop off their son. When she opened the door, her ex reportedly shoved the child into her arms, causing her to fall. She said she had “no choice” but to grab the nearby Pine-Sol® and throw it on the man.

Found in the Gresham Outlook

Anderson Valley, CA
On Sunday, October 12, 2003, Guy Blackwelder, 54, of Ukiah, was cited on suspicion of battery for allegedly spraying one of his North Main Street neighbors with insecticide. The woman sprayed had a restraining order against the suspect.

Found in the Anderson Valley Advertiser

Logan, UT
An individual called Logan police and stated that he is nude and would like an officer to bring him some clothing. He stated that he had been drinking.

Found on The Statesman

Tucumcari, NM
At 4:12 a.m., a female called to report harassment. She said a man told her he was going to kill someone in the emergency room. Police on the scene told the man to go to bed.

Found in the Quay County Sun

Nevada County, CA
At 6:36 p.m., a man called from Calcite Court to report that a man with a mustache wearing a black leather jacket came to his door and said “God sent me.” The caller told the man he was not interested.

Found in The Union