Small Town Misfit

Rio Grande, NM
9:42 p.m. – A man said someone stole his goat. He’d had problems before with his neighbor’s stealing the goat and had fixed his fence, he said, but now they had evidently found a new way to get his goat.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Colorado Springs, CO
Officers responded to the Wal-Mart at 3201 E. Platte Avenue in reference to an assault. When the officers arrived they were told that a male, Almustafa MUJIB, had come into the store smoking a cigarette. When an employee of the store asked MUJIB to extinguish the cigarette MUJIB struck the employee on the face with an open hand. MUJIB then left the store and walked towards a vehicle. When a second employee followed to record the license plate MUJIB confronted the employee and struck (her). As officers arrived and located MUJIB to detain him, he struggled and kicked Officer Inazu.

MUJIB was handcuffed and placed into a police vehicle. While in the vehicle MUJIB began kicking the vehicle door, breaking out the window and bending the door frame causing damage. In an attempt to regain control of MUJIB he was sprayed with oleoresin capsicum. MUJIB failed to comply with verbal commands. MUJIB then attempted to climb out of the vehicle through the shattered window. After repeatedly refusing to comply with verbal orders to remain in the vehicle, a conducted energy weapon was used to gain his compliance.

Found in the Colorado Springs Police Blotter

Chattanooga, TN
Mary Couch said someone poured dog food, tomato paste, Spam and various liquids on her 2001 Jeep Wrangler while it was parked at 300 Walnut St.

She said the vandals spelled out the words “slut” and “whore” with the liquids.

She said she was able to wash the offending words off.

Found on the Chattanoogan.com

Kittitas County, WA
A Brick Mill Road resident reported someone drove up his driveway and threw out what appeared to be a computer monitor and detonated it on his driveway.

Found in the Daily Record

Rio Grande, NM
2:31 p.m. – A Chimayó man said he wanted to file a report on an incident that happened the week before in which he was humped by two males along the side of the road. Dispatchers later corrected that report. The man said he was jumped, not humped.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Springfield, MT
12:13 a.m., 1100 block Main St. A male reported that a stripper at an area club kicked him in the head. The female told authorities she was only reacting to the fact the male threw change at her while she was performing.

Found in the Sprinfield News

Goleta Valley, CA
Believing she could fool the cab driver, once at her destination a young lady, who requested a taxi service from Santa Barbara to her Isla Vista apartment, ran from the car to her apartment where she turned off the lights in an attempt to hide from the bill. The driver, who waited patiently outside the apartment before knocking on her door, requested the help of authorities when he could not reconnect with the passenger.

Once on the scene, deputies met with the intoxicated female hiding inside her dark apartment. Admitting she was penniless, she agreed to write a check for the now $74 fare. However, too inebriated to legibly write the check, she was arrested for public intoxication as well as petty theft. The driver requested charges pressed against the defrauder due to the fact he missed the busiest part of the evening, losing significant income, while dealing with the woman.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Columbia, SC
A 76-year-old woman told a cop Feb. 16 that “evil persons are flying around” her Eastover house and “doing evil things to her body.” She asked the cop to listen to a noise that he identified as being jet aircraft from a nearby National Guard station. The woman insisted the “evil persons” were making the noise. The cop said he’d been to this woman’s home five times since her release from a hospital in 2004.

Found in the Free Times

Point Reyes Station, CA
A senior citizen tied up his small dog while at the Farmer’s Market, only to have a big dog attack it. Bystanders broke up the dogfight, but by then the small dog was tangled in its leash. When one of the bystanders tried to untangle the dog, its owner body-slammed her, she told deputies. The woman declined to press charges but said she doesn’t want it to happen again.

Found in the Point Reyes Light Sheriff’s blotter

Gorham, ME
Brookwood Dr. resident reported a pizza missing off the front table. The keys to the house and her truck were gone and $4,000 was missing. Woman did not want to make a report but asked for extra patrols as they had seen some vehicles around the area early in the morning.

Found in the Gorham Times

Columbia, SC
A 46-year-old woman called the cops to complain that a small plastic ball hit her car at her Faraway Drive apartment. When the police didn’t come fast enough, she called them twice more and said she had a knife, hoping it would speed up their response time. When they finally arrived, she told a deputy that next time she had a problem she would just dial 911. The deputy told her 911 was for emergencies only and asked whether she thought a plastic ball hitting her car was an emergency. Her response: Yes, it was.

Found in the Free Times

Saugus, MA
Female states that a male called her business identifying himself as her UPS driver and said that he had several televisions he could sell her. She was told to meet him in the parking lot of Best Buy. She sent her two nephews to purchase the TV. They handed the money to a male and he has not returned to the scene.

Found in The Saugonian