Small Town Misfit

Falls Church, VA
Assault, Eden Center, 6799 Wilson Blvd., April 16, 3:41 p.m., unknown person(s) got upset with the victim over a parking space. The suspect(s) exited the vehicle and chased the victim with a knife. The victim fell injuring the right upper arm. The suspect(s) slashed both front tires of the victim’s vehicle with the knife and fled the scene. The victim injuries were minor and the victim declined medical treatment.

Found in the Falls Church News

Jupiter, FL
Employees at a bank in the 6400 block of West Indiantown Road said a man wearing a wig and impersonating a woman tried to cash her stolen check by using her signature and stolen driver’s license. The woman’s purse and identification had been stolen in Boynton Beach. The man fled without getting any money.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

Columbia, SC
A 27-year-old man filed a report with USC police April 7 when he discovered two projectors, which should have been removed from a building on Assembly Street in February, were not removed. That building, the Carolina Plaza, was imploded Feb. 5.

Found in the Free Times

North Olmstead, OH
Police got a call about 8:30 p.m. April 12 from Ambiance on Great Northern Boulevard about a man inviting female patrons of the store to his dungeon. The man was just pulling out of the parking lot when officers arrived, but they stopped him and talked to him. The man smelled of alcohol and had blood-shot eyes, but told police he only had one beer. He also told them he called his place the dungeon.

Officers talked to a woman involved, who said the man talked to her through his car window, told her his prices were cheaper than Ambiance’s and had numerous Internet sites that he sold items from. The man also kept stressing they were adult sites and he had a dungeon if the woman was interested.

The woman, who actually worked at Ambiance, told the man to wait because she needed a piece of paper to write the information on. Instead, she called the police.

The man failed roadside sobriety tests and was arrested and taken to the police station. He registered a .185 percent blood-alcohol level there and has many prior convictions for drunken driving.

He was released on bond for court and is now back in his dungeon.

Found in the Sun News

Rio Grande, NM
2:19 p.m. – A man said he found rat feces in the ketchup at a Riverside Dr. hamburger stand.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Palm Beach, FL
The owner of a black, 1998 Ford Taurus, a 72-year-old Lake Park woman, lost her vehicle about 6 p.m. at the intersection of U.S. 1 and Silver Beach Road in Lake Park. She pulled up to use a pay phone and left her keys in the car. When she returned to where her car was parked, it was gone. The victim waited four days to report the crime because she didn’t want to bother the deputies.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

San Jose, CA
Officers initiated a traffic stop about 12:30 p.m. Tuesday when a man pulled in front of their patrol, which was in the turn lane off North Shoreline Boulevard onto Plymouth Street, and came to a stop. The man, who allegedly exited his vehicle and started yelling obscenities at the officers, challenged them to handcuff him and take him to jail. He then ran toward the officers, who arrested him.

Found in the San Jose Mercury News

Milford, MI
A 37-year-old Milford man arrested for operating while intoxicated told the arresting officer he was a Detroit cop, and reportedly asked for preferential treatment — but was refused.

According to reports, police saw the man roll through a stop sign on Cooley Lake Road near Weaver on Saturday evening, then make a wide turn, causing the police officer to swerve out of his way. The driver then stopped in the middle of the road. When police approached, he appeared intoxicated, smelling of alcohol and slurring his speech. When asked for identification, police saw a silver badge in his wallet, and he said he was in law enforcement. He said he had drunk four beers, police say, and asked for “a break.” He failed field sobriety tests and a preliminary breath test registered a .259 blood alcohol level. During the incident, police say he was loud and obnoxious, chastising the police for arresting him. The arresting officer said the man later told him they should go out for a beer some time, but he couldn’t pay because the incident was going to cost him his job.

While lodged in the Milford jail, he asked if he could cut a deal. Police told him the matter would be addressed in court. He was charged for operating while intoxicated and having open intoxicants in a motor vehicle.

Found in the Observer

Gresham, OR
Police arrested Robert Dale Wood, 43, of Portland, on charges of first-degree attempted theft, first-degree forgery and identity theft at a bank in the 400 block of Northwest Burnside Road at 4:20 p.m. Thursday, March 23, according to a police report.

The man tried to pass a forged check for $922.37, but a teller noticed that it was written on an account closed due to fraudulent activity the week before and called the police. Officers contacted the man, who said “Willy,” a man he met in jail, gave him the check. The suspect knew the check was fake but didn’t think he’d get caught. He also told police that he was in jail for a similar crime, but that he was really trying to straighten out his life and couldn’t believe he’d screwed up again.

Found in the Gresham Outlook

Palm Beach, FL
Officers were called to a home in the 300 block of Lighthouse Drive about 9:42 a.m. A woman told them that earlier that morning, her neighbor threw an old toilet in her yard. The neighbor was gone when officers arrived.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

Gresham County, OR
Police arrested David Dennis Franklin, 23, of Gresham for fourth-degree domestic violence assault in the 19500 block of Northeast Halsey Street between 11:30 p.m. Saturday, March 25, and midnight Sunday, March 26, according to a police report.

The victims, a 47-year-old Gresham woman and a 46-year-old Gresham man, are the man’s parents. They told police that they were celebrating the father’s birthday, listening to country music and drinking beer when the intoxicated suspect changed the music to heavy metal.

When the parents confronted their son about the music, he threw things around the apartment, head-butted the mother and pushed her onto the couch. The father came to the mother’s defense, but the son punched him in the face and left.

However, when he returned and knocked on the door, the mother thought it was the police and opened it. Instead, it was the son, who head-butted her again. This time he hit her so hard she flew back against the wall.

The father grabbed the son, who gave his father a black eye and bit his father’s thumb so hard it needed stitches. The father ended up punching the son in the head until he let go.

The suspect told police that his parents assaulted and threatened to kill him. He also told police that his mother head-butted him for no reason. He insisted he’d done nothing wrong.

He said he couldn’t hear out of his left ear, but other than it being slightly bruised and swollen, doctors said there was nothing wrong with it.

Found in the Gresham Outlook

Boerne, TX

Found in the Boerne Star and Hill Country Recorder