Small Town Misfit

Athens, GA
A Smyrna teacher was arrested in downtown Athens Saturday morning after a police officer saw him urinate on the Clarke County Courthouse.

An officer spotted David A. Van Horn, 39, urinating in front of the courthouse and wrote him a ticket, according to a police report. Van Horn refused to sign it, and was handcuffed and charged with public intoxication, the report said. Van Horn also had been yelling at women who passed by, calling them fat, the report said. Van Horn’s occupation was listed as a teacher in the Cobb County school system on the arrest report.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Columbia, SC
A Blythewood High School student snuck her 19-year-old Columbia boyfriend into the school May 10, and the two were walking down a hallway when a 41-year-old teacher, thinking the boyfriend was a student, instructed him to remove his hat. The boyfriend shoved the teacher against a wall and yelled, “I ain’t no student” and then threatened to beat the teacher’s “punk ass.” Another teacher separated them, and the girlfriend pulled the boyfriend toward an exit as he yelled, “We can take this outside, punk ass.” Several more teachers followed the two outside, where a cop caught up with them and put the boyfriend on trespass notice. The teacher wants to press charges.

Found in the Free Times

Gorham, ME
Caller reported that he left his vehicle for repairs and when he went to get it he was told it had been crushed and removed from the property.

Santa Barbara, CA
At approximately 12:10 a.m. on Thursday, September 13, Isla Vista Foot Patrol officers patrolling the corner of Camino Pescadero and Pasado Road observed a 21-year-old male who matched the description of a suspect thought to be vandalizing cars in the area.

The officers approached the suspect and smelled a strong odor of alcohol. The suspect’s friend told the officers his friend only had a case of beer and that the only car damaged belonged to the suspect. The officers confirmed that the damaged vehicle belonged to the suspect and found no other vandalized vehicles in the area.

The officers noticed a laceration on the suspect’ s hand and transported him to Goleta Valley Cottage Hospital. En route to the hospital, the suspect slammed his head into the Plexiglas screen and began to yell profanities. At the hospital, the suspect again began yelling expletives at doctors and nurses attempting to treat him. When the officers asked the suspect to lower his voice out of respect for neighboring patients, the suspect said, “They can suck it.” When officers asked the suspect why he broke his own car window, he said he couldn’t open the door, and with a broken window he could enter his vehicle like the “Dukes of Hazzard.”

The suspect was arrested for public intoxication and transported to Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Found in the Daily Nexus Online

Atlanta, GA
A 21-year old woman returned to her apartment on Lee Street and found a man and woman having sex in her roommate’s bed. At first, the 21-year-old thought the woman having sex was her roommate. However, when the man and woman ran out of the apartment, the 21-year-old realized that she had never seen the woman before. But, she said, the man looked familiar. No suspects at the time of report.

Found in Creative Loafing

River Forest, IL

Found in the Wednesday Journal

Chadron, NE
3:06 p.m. Woman came in to PD advised she was getting a divorce and has some of his stuff. Woman stated she didnít want to go to his house and thought she could leave it at the PD and have him pick it up. Attempted to contact him via phone but was unable to contact. No contact at his residence. Items are a jar of pennies, a Steelers football and a piece of Penn State aluminum foil. Items will be held at dispatch.

Found in the Chadron Record

Brunswick, OH
Police were called to Kidder Elementary School Friday morning after a parent spotted a 3-year-old boy driving a minivan in the school parking lot.

The woman who reported the incident told police she had to open the door to the minivan, put it in park and turn off the ignition, at which time she noticed two other toddlers in the car. The woman said she reported the incident to the boy’s mother, who was inside the school with her oldest son when the younger boy climbed out of his car seat and put the car into gear, as well as reporting it to the school.

The boy’s mother was advised not to leave her children or the keys in her car unattended. A report documenting the incident has also been forwarded to the Medina County Office of Job and Family Services.

Found in the Brunswick Sun Times

Chadron, NE
4:58 p.m. Caller from Regency Trailer Court advised that the neighbor kids are throwing a dead rabbit around request officers to talk with the kids. Unable to locate.

Found in the Chadron Record

Durango, CO
1:18 p.m. A man leaped out from behind a pharmacy in the 1100 block of Main Avenue to offer a woman packets of Kool-Aid. He told her to drink them.

Found in the Durango Herald

North Palm Beach, FL
When a resident of the 800 block of Foresteria Drive arrived home from work about 7:30 p.m., he was confronted by a neighbor who said he had just been robbed. The neighbor also said the robber was hiding in the resident’s home and that he was going to burn the home down if the robber didn’t come out. The resident called for help, and a deputy saw the neighbor walk up with two gas cans. The neighbor tried to hide the gas cans behind a commercial trash container, but he was caught and arrested, and the containers were discovered.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

Chico, CA
1:36 a.m. Suspicious subject reported on the 700 block of West Seventh Street. “Suspect in Cat in the Hat costume appeared to be (burglarizing). When Cat in the Hat saw the police, subject went into the side yard.”

Found in the Orion Online