Small Town Misfit

Columbia, SC
A 35-year-old woman called the cops Aug. 15 after a 36-year-old male acquaintance phoned and threatened her. She said that later that morning she discovered a dead rabbit dangling by a piece of string on her front porch.

Found in the Free Times

Erie County, NY
An Elmwood Avenue resident reported a sofa stuck in her doorway of her apartment.

Found in Bee News

Grass Valley, CA
At 9:01 a.m., a caller from the 16100 block of Auburn Road reported the theft of a full can of garbage.

Found in the Union

Boerne, TX

Found in the Boerne Star

Middlefield, OH
A case of missing manure in this Amish community has a village street cleaner so upset that she reported the messy poop pilferer to police.

It seems that someone, perhaps a home gardener, is taking manure droppings from hitching rail posts outside stores in Middlefield, located about 30 miles east of Cleveland.

The hitching posts are a common site in the Amish country of Geauga County and are used by Amish to secure their buggy horses while they shop.

Lisza Wright, who gets paid $25,000 a year by Middlefield to clean the three dozen hitching rail areas daily, told police last month that someone has been taking manure, with the manure left behind getting spread out and packed down, making her job harder.

Police Chief Joe Stehlik suspects a gardener looking for fertilizer.

Found by BornRandy in the San Francisco Chronicle. Thanks BornRandy!

Columbia, SC
A 48-year-old woman said she came home to her Woodbury Drive house and discovered that some grass had been dug up and moved to another spot in her yard. She said whoever did it used a shovel that she keeps in her back yard.
Found in the Free Times

Goleta, CA
Following a circus rodeo act inside the Earl Warren Showgrounds, a man wearing a wet shirt doused in alcohol was having trouble leaving the arena. At 7:30 p.m. the obviously intoxicated man approached a patrolling deputy, but not before falling.

When the Spanish-speaking man, 33, was asked how long he’d been in the United States, he replied, “Three beers.” Unable to care for himself, he was arrested for public intoxication and taken to jail.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Erie County, NY
A caller on Southwestern Boulevard said he heard excessive moaning behind his house. A patrol found it was a foreign exchange student praying loudly.

Found in Bee News

Wellington, FL
A man was standing in the middle of the road holding a butcher’s knife in one hand and a dead armadillo in the other in the 12800 block of Peconic Court. He was ordered to drop the knife and the animal and he did. After speaking with him, he said he was not on his medication. When asked if he wanted to hurt himself or others, he said no. He had just been released from the hospital.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

Lakewood, OH
Things didn’t go well for a woman arrested for petty theft while applying for a job at the IHOP restaurant on Detroit Avenue.

According to reports, a woman came into the eatery around 8 p.m. to fill out an application, and left with a charity container for the March of Dimes.

She returned the next day for her interview, and was astonished to discover officers had more questions for her than the restaurant’s manager.

The suspect was cited and released. Needless to say, she did not get the job.

Found in the Lakewood Sun Post

Chico, CA
1:54 a.m. Disturbance reported on the 900 block of East Avenue. “Subject in parking lot keeps approaching customers and asking where to get heroin.”

Found in the Orion Online

Rio Grande, NM
11:19 a.m. — Officers found a man down between the Rock Christian Church and Lowe’s SuperSave. The man appeared to have been assaulted. The officers joked that the detention center should get the man’s regular “suite” ready, as he is often picked up for detox. The officers said the man had broken his personal record, as it took him only 30 minutes to get drunk this time. The man was taken to the hospital, and the officers were later advised that the man was not drunk, he was having seizures.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun