Small Town Misfit

Grass Valley, CA
At 8:26 p.m., a caller from a hospital reported a man with dreadlocks and dark clothing was acting strange, doing karate moves and had no reason for being on hospital property. A security guard advised the man was there on hospital business.

Found in the Union

Medina, OH
A 27-year-old Medina man was arrested for disorderly conduct by intoxication and drug possession after police found him passed out near the intersection of South Court Street and Lafayette Road just before 5 a.m. Sept. 16. According to police reports, the man was in the middle of the road in a fetal position, smelled of alcohol and was snoring.

Found in the Medina Sun

Atlanta, GA
Three gunmen held up Starship Enterprises Adult Video at 4872 Memorial Drive in Stone Mountain early Wednesday morning. They took $230 in cash and escaped on foot after restraining two employees with leg irons and fur handcuffs sold in the sex paraphernalia store.

According to a police incident report, three masked men, wearing white T-shirts and jeans, entered the store after midnight. The gunmen began “yelling verbal commands” at Adell Sharp, 20, who was working the front register, and Lydon Blackman, 41, who was in the back of the store sweeping up.

One robber ordered Sharp to get on the floor while he emptied the cash register.

A second robber ordered Sharp and Blackman into the back room where he handcuffed Blackman with a “pair of silver leg irons from the store” to a sink. The gunman bound Sharp with a pair of black fur handcuffs, according to the report.

No one was injured in the robbery, which was captured on a video, according to the police report. The gunmen, who ran away, also stole several portable scales from the store, valued at about $700.

Found in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Thanks SLY!

Atlanta, GA
A woman called police about a man trespassing on the patio of her condo on Chaumont Square. An officer arrived and talked to the man, who said he’s the foreman for the grounds on the golf course at the condo complex. He said he noticed that the woman’s back patio was open, so he went there to get a bucket. He said he took a bucket so he could fill it with water and put out a fire on his lawn vehicle. He said if he didn’t put out the fire, the vehicle would have exploded because it contained 15 gallons of hydraulic fuel and 15 gallons of gas. He did manage to put the fire out.

After hearing the man’s explanation, the police officer asked the woman if she still wanted to press charges. “Yes,” the woman answered. So the man was arrested for trespassing and taken to jail.

Found in Creative Loafing Atlanta

Solon, OH
A Solon boy, 9, allegedly stole tennis shoes right off the feet of another 9-year-old boy Friday afternoon.

The victim said he was riding his bike near Solon Skatepark when the other boy approached, pushed him off his bike and yanked off his Heeley shoes.

The suspect rode away on his own bike with the shoes. Both boys attend Solon Schools.

Police have identified the suspect.

Found in the Solon Herald Sun

Rio Grande, NM
1:15 p.m. —A man wearing a golf shirt and walking with a child approached Lowe’s Home Improvement customers and declared he was Jesus. The child with “Jesus” had a bloody nose. Police made contact with the man, called his wife and determined it was okay for him to be with the child and that declaring oneself Jesus was not a criminal activity.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Grass Valley, CA
A 3:40 p.m. caller from the 11600 block of Ragan Way heard a person yelling profanities loudly and saying “The Taliban will come and get you,” at no one in particular.

Found in The Union

Grass Valley, CA
A 10:15 a.m. caller from the 10900 block of Castaway Court said someone stole his medical marijuana plants out of his greenhouse.

A 10:27 a.m. caller from the 11800 block of Mooney Flat Road reported someone stole his medical marijuana plants overnight. The caller said two people were now walking around his property in camouflage clothing probably back to pick up the plants they had stashed somewhere.

Found in the Union

Erie County, NY
A worker dispute involving a former employee putting a potato in the tailpipe of a car belonging Wales Center woman was reported on Route 20A.

Found in Bee News

Bozeman, MT
A caller wanted to know the minimum amount of heat, electricity and phone service she and her ex-husband could provide to their kids. The woman was warned not to endanger her children’s welfare.

Found in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle

Waynesboro, GA
A burglar spoiled his own getaway when he fell asleep at the crime scene Saturday.

Police were called to the Burke County Extension Office when an early-morning walker noticed the glass door was broken.

Officers found that several offices had been rooted through, and employees who arrived on the scene reported missing food and pocket change.

“He ate the ice cream out of our freezer, and he drank our Hawaiian Punch,” Burke County Extension Coordinator Will Duffie said, adding that the burglar had also eaten up most of the 4-H Club’s beef jerky fundraiser.

As officers continued to check the building, they found one office that was locked.

“They shined the flashlight through the window and saw part of a body … that was asleep on my couch,” Duffie said.

After back-up arrived, police roused the sleeping burglar by knocking on the door. After he let police in, James Allen Cobb, 19, of Millen was arrested for burglary.

According to officers, Cobb didn’t know the extension office parking lot is a popular exercise loop and had hoped to stay in the complex for the weekend.

Duffie said that while no valuables are kept at the extension office, there are plenty of free educational brochures - none of which were taken during the burglary.

Found in the True Citizen

Beaver County, PA
Alfred Lee Andrews, 27, of 247 Richard St., Koppel, was charged by Norfolk Southern Railway police with interference with a train. On Aug. 30, Andrews was walking along railroad tracks in Big Beaver when he apparently sat on the tracks, fell asleep and was hit by a train, police said.

Andrews was hospitalized for several days and released.

Found in the Times Online

Thanks Arnold!