Small Town Misfit

Arlington, MA
At 10:48 a.m., an employee at a Massachusetts Avenue business called police after a man stole a bottle of Rogaine. The suspect is described as a white male in his 20s with a shaved head and “light returning hair growth.”

Found in the Arlington Advocate

Atlanta, GA
In Woodruff Park, a homeless man told police that he’d swallowed some rat poison and needed an ambulance, so an officer called Grady Memorial Hospital. When a Grady ambulance arrived, the homeless man said he wanted to go to Piedmont Hospital instead. The medic said the homeless man had to go to Grady because of his mental state. The homeless man got mad and walked away. The medic said he had orders from a doctor to take the homeless man to Grady. So the officer told the homeless man to put his hands behind his back. The homeless man refused and tried to fight the officer. So the officer doused the homeless man with pepper spray, arrested him and took him to Grady Hospital.

Found in Creative Loafing

Savannah, GA
A job applicant became upset when he took an application to a furniture store and was told the store wasn’t hiring employees on the spot. A store employee called police after the suspect became upset when he was told the application would be given to the appropriate department. At that point, the suspect began cursing and yelling and walked out. The complainant said that as the suspect was walking out of the store, he pushed open the door violently, causing it to loosen off the hinges. At that time, he began to bang his fists on the hood of a vehicle parked in the lot. The man began walking towards Abercorn Street. He was located by police and arrested for criminal damage to property.

Found in Connect Savannah

Santa Barbara, CA
Saturday, Oct. 21, 11:04 p.m. - Isla Vista Foot Patrol officers were biking northbound on Camino del Sur when they saw a man lying on the ground at a bus stop.

Two unidentified people were attempting to wake up and help the 18-year-old University of Southern California student who was face-down in a pool of spaghetti-vomit.

A deputy approached the man - who suddenly woke up - and began questioning him. The man told officers he lost his Italian dinner because he also had eaten peanuts, and has a nut allergy.

While the man did not display the normal symptoms of an allergic reaction to peanuts, the officer offered to call paramedics in case the man was in serious danger.

The suspect quickly ate his words and said, “No, I didn’t really eat peanuts. I had too many shots in a row.”

The officer noted that the man displayed a number of signs of intoxication, including bloodshot, watery eyes and an unsteady balance. He attempted to find out where the subject lived, but the Los Angeles resident merely pointed south and said, “over there.”

The deputy decided that the man was too intoxicated to care for his own safety or the safety of others, and arrested him for public intoxication.

The man was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Found in the Daily Nexus Online

Palm Beach, FL
A man entered a convenience store in the 1500 block of Northwest Avenue L in Belle Glade with a former employee. While the former employee chatted with the clerk, the man walked to a cooler and took a package of 40 hot dogs. The man stopped at the register to pay for a soda and gas, but did not pay for the hot dogs, valued at $55.60. A surveillance video was obtained from the store, but was not viewed because the store’s VCR was not working.

Found in the Palm Beach Post

Grass Valley, CA
10:40 p.m., a caller from Stone Arch Drive reported a woman inside a trailer was moaning in pain. Paramedics arrived and determined the woman was fine. The “moaning” sound was located in the yard. An owl yard ornament was operating on a low battery.

Found in The Union

Santa Barbara, CA
Sunday, Oct. 22, 3:19 a.m. - IVFP deputies received a request for service from the owner of Deja Vu Cafe on Embarcadero del Norte because an 18-year-old woman refused to leave the eatery.

When officers arrived at the scene, they found the subject crying at the counter. A deputy attempted to find out why the woman was upset, but during questioning, the disheveled subject kept exposing her bra to the officers and would not answer their questions.

During the incident, a man claiming to be the subject’s cousin stood outside waiting to take the woman home. However, the drunk diner said she did not want to go with the man because she did not know where she was.

The officers removed the woman from the restaurant, arrested her for public intoxication and transported her to the IVFP office for booking. As she sat in the office, the woman started ranting about various, unrelated topics, and told officers she wanted to have a conversation about the government.

The woman continued her rambling, telling officers they should treat her with respect because she was going to be on MTV.

After a while, the woman gave up trying to engage the officers, so she began talking to herself. She repeatedly asserted that the officers would “be the death of her” because they put on her handcuffs too tightly.

Despite the officer’s torturous restraining mechanisms, the subject managed to survive the booking. The woman was transported to the Santa Barbara County Jail, where she was housed, pending sobriety.

found in the Daily Nexus Online

Waynesboro, GA
An unidentified man paid for his sub sandwich and then said he’d be back for it later.

According to a report filed by the Waynesboro Police Department, a Subway employee was conned out of approximately $56 on Tuesday, Oct. 3, by a man who identified himself as Mike Williams. Witnesses said he paid for a sandwich with a $100 bill, then claimed he had been shorted on his change. After the employee gave the man his change, he couldn’t wait for his sandwich and said he’d pick it up after work.

Before leaving, he gave a female employee $2, telling her that was so she’d remember him. The employees realized the register was short $56 at the end of their shift.

Security tapes showed the black male, with a tattoo on his right arm, accepting his change from the employee, stepping back from the counter while placing something in his pocket, and then handing money back to the employee.

No further information on the identity of the man was available.

Found in the True Citizen

Bowling Green, OH
Subject reported his vehicle had been stolen from the Wal-Mart parking lot. When police arrived, he realized he’d simply forgotten where he parked it.

Found in the BG News

Grass Valley, CA
At 11:32 p.m., a man called from the 300 block of Alta Street to report people were making fireballs and compression from the fire was causing his house to shake. Police checked the area and were unable to locate the fireballs.

Found in the Union

Clovis, NM
About 11 a.m. Oct. 14 an officer responded to the 2000 block of Fairway Terrace to take a report of larceny. A woman said a 150-pound granite statue of a pelican had been taken from the front yard of the home. The statue was worth approximately $3,000, she said. The case is under investigation.

Found in the Clovis News Journal

Lake Worth, OH
When it comes to urinating in public, Lake Worth is No. 1.

“It’s a huge problem,” said Lake Worth Mayor Marc Drautz.

So huge that Drautz decided to use his neighborhood crime walks as an opportunity to remind residents not to use their city as a big outdoor toilet.

To do that, the mayor ordered up some door hangers. And being that Lake Worth is a city of many languages, he decided to point out this problem without relying on any words.

The computer image on the door hanger shows a stick figure standing the middle of a residential street.

“Don’t stand in the middle of the street?”

That’s what I said to myself when I saw the image, which was circled in red with a red slash through the middle of it.

But it turns out that what I thought was a dotted line in the middle of the road was actually supposed to represent staccato bursts emanating from the stick figure.

Computer whizzes don’t do clip art

Drautz admits that he, too, was confused when he first saw the door hanger.

“I thought it looked like somebody walking down the middle of the road,” he said.

The mayor called the effort a “first draft” and said that it’s just plain difficult finding computer clip art to remind people not to urinate in public.

Although, he said, even if people just think the door hanger is urging residents not to stand in the middle of the street, it isn’t a total loss.

“That’s not a bad message, either,” Drautz said.

Found in the Palm Beach Post