Small Town Misfit

Marblehead, ME
A mother reported receiving annoying collect phone calls from her 28-year-old son, at 1:56 A.M., none of which she accepted.

Found in Marblehead Magazine

Durango, CO
12:57 p.m. A woman was cited for speeding, no proof of insurance, no seat belt, no front license plate and driving on a canceled or denied driver’s license on Eighth Avenue.

Found in the Durango Herald

Columbia, SC
A 35-year-old man and a 46-year-old woman who live together argued all night Nov. 18 at their residence on Connie Drive. Police were called twice. After they left the second time, the woman left the home and returned at 7:45 a.m. When she got home, the man still wanted to argue so she locked herself in the bathroom and fell asleep on the floor.

When she woke up for work, she discovered that her clothes and personal items were gone from the house. The man had burned her work clothes and threw them in the woods and tossed her personal paperwork in a pond. When cops showed up again, he admitted that he had taken out his frustration on the woman’s things, saying he was upset that she had left and wanted nothing of hers in the house. He was arrested and jailed for malicious injury to personal property.

Found in the Free Times

Bridgeton, NJ
Melissa C. West, 41, of Lincoln Street, was arrested early Sunday on Columbus Avenue for disorderly conduct, and was released on her own recognizance.

Police dispatched to Columbus Avenue at 3:24 a.m. Sunday for a report of a suspicious vehicle running in a private home’s driveway observed a man sleeping in the driver’s seat and West naked in the back.

West reportedly shouted profanities at police and threw a piece of cake at an officer, according to a police report.

Found in the Bridgeton News

Cary, NC
A Cary woman reported receiving 12 counterfeit travelers’ checks with a total face value of $6,000 from a man in Paris who had agreed over the Internet to rent a room in her residence. The checks were intended to cover rent and a security deposit. A package containing the checks arrived from Tampa, Fla. Nov. 14. The woman was notified Nov. 16 the checks were counterfeit. After learning the true nature of the checks, the woman sent the suspect more than 300 e-mails. The suspect replied, asking if the woman’s computer was malfunctioning.

Found in the Cary News

Grass Valley, CA
At 1:12 p.m., a caller from the 300 block of Mill Street reported a suspicious-looking man with an umbrella entered a laundry room through a window.

Found in the Union

Waynesboro, GA
Waynesboro police are looking for whoever stole a bathtub off West Seventh Street last week.

The victim told police he put the bathtub outside in order to do some remodeling.

According to the incident report, the claw-foot, cast iron tub is worth about $300.

Found in the True Citizen

Atlanta, GA
An officer saw a horse carriage in downtown Atlanta. He noted that the horse was dropping poop on the street as it passed by. The officer followed the horse carriage and pulled it over at Andrew Young International Boulevard and Peachtree Street. The horse-carriage driver said the horse had been maneuvering around some construction workers and that’s why the horse was dropping poop. The officer gave the driver a ticket for “improper diaper.”

Found in Creative Loafing

Columbia, SC
A 40-year-old man told police in late August that his 50-year-old male roommate accused him of stealing a bottle of lemon extract from the guy’s bathroom at their Willow Wind Road home in Hopkins. They argued about it and the 50-year-old told his roomie “he was going to get hurt real bad.” The 40-year-old then bolted from the house.

Found in the Free Times

Isla Vista, CA
Sunday, Nov. 26, 12:01 a.m. - An officer responded to a call for service on the 6600 block of Trigo Road after receiving a report that a 19-year-old man had broken into his girlfriend’s house.

The subject, who had just been pushed out of the residence by people inside, was attempting to climb up onto the balcony when the deputy made contact with him.

The officer immediately noticed that the discombobulated delinquent was extremely intoxicated.

During questioning, the man could not tell the officer where he lived, because he had “drank three bottles of Gatorade mixed with vodka.”

The subject repeatedly tried to tell officers something, but could not manage to put together a coherent sentence. As the man’s growing frustration got the better of him, he began to cry.

Officers then arrested the man for public intoxication. While deputies transported him to jail, the man became very emotional and again started to cry.

The subject confessed that his girlfriend had just broken up with him, and he had only wanted to give her a birthday card. The man admitted that he had made a mistake by drinking too much “cheap” vodka and apologized to officers for getting plastered.

The man was booked at the Santa Barbara County Jail, where he was housed, pending sobriety.

Found in the Daily Nexus

Rio Grande, NM
8:13 p.m. — A caller at the Flamingo Club said his brother hit him. The caller said his brother knows karate and he considers this to be a weapon. Police reported the altercation was verbal not physical.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Goleta Valley, CA
A handful of females fighting in Isla Vista, including an 18-year-old cosmetology student wearing “platform shoes,” were quickly subdued with a blast from a can of pepper spray.

The brawlers were arrested for unlawful fighting and challenging others to fight.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice