Small Town Misfit

Columbia, SC
A 38-year-old man went to the strip club Platinum Plus on Jacob Road Dec. 15. While he was there, some dancers approached him and invited him into the Champagne Room for a private performance. Told he needed to buy a bottle of champagne, he provided a credit card. The man signed the purchase slip and had to authorize his purchase over the phone, which he believed to be legitimate. He says he was fraudulently charged approximately $10,000 and was intimidated by the club’s bouncers.

Found in the Free Times

Waynesboro, GA
A man brought his friend into the emergency room last week because he was worried witchcraft might affect their unborn child.

According to a report, the man said someone at school told him another person had used witchcraft on his pregnant friend so he took her to the emergency room to be examined by a physician. The woman asked him why he brought her to the ER, and when he explained the possibility of witchcraft harming their baby, she “said a few words,” left the hospital and did not return.

The man told officers she had not been acting strangely but that he just wanted her to “be checked.”

Found in the True Citizen

Lake Oswego, OR
12/15 10:41 p.m. A woman who was late returning home requested police turn off her Christmas lights.

Found in the Lake Oswego Review

Brooklyn, NY
An 18-year-old area man was taken into custody last week for allegedly shooting his 23-year-old uncle, police said.

Officials said that both men were inside their home on the 200 block of East 89th Street on December 18 when the unnamed 18-year-old allegedly said something rude to their grandmother.

Police were told that the 23-year-old yelled at his nephew, demanding that he stopped disrespecting the family matriarch when the 18-year-old allegedly pulled a gun, shooting his uncle in the torso.

The uncle was taken to Brookdale Hospital where he was listed in stable condition after treatment.

Charges against the 18-year-old were pending as this paper went to press.

Found in the Canarise Digest

Manchester, NH
As they ordered him to put down his beer, police said they watched as a 27-year-old man stopped Christmas night for drunk driving continued to chug from a 40-ounce bottle of Olde English.

Later at the police station’s booking area, Patrick Allain - arrested on his fourth charge of driving while intoxicated - told officers: “You can charge me with whatever you want. It’s not going to stop me from drinking and driving.”

Yesterday in Manchester District Court, police prosecutor Steven Reardon described Allain as having “utter disregard” for others.

“Mr. Allain poses an extreme risk to the public,” Reardon told Judge Norman Champagne.

Reardon said Allain, who gave his address as New Horizons shelter, has been convicted of driving while intoxicated at least three times. His license was suspended in Hooksett District Court May 31 for driving drunk.

Allain was arrested at 6:45 p.m. Monday after police responding to a report of a drunk driver at Bridge and Beech streets and pursued him with sirens and flashing lights.

Reardon said a motorist spotted Allain’s erratic driving and called police on a cell phone. The driver continued to follow Allain and report his location to police.

After Allain stopped at the west end of the Bridge Street bridge, officers approaching the vehicle said he continued to drink from a bottle of beer, despite commands to stop and get out of the vehicle.

Reardon said before being pulled over, Allain had hit two vehicles, causing property damage but no injury. Police Community Information Officer Sgt. Maureen Tessier said Allain also crossed over the center line, putting people in other vehicles - including a police officer in a marked cruiser - in danger.

Allain could enter no plea to the felony in district court and a probable cause hearing was set for Jan. 9.

Allain, who was charged with hitting two vehicles and failing to stop to provide required information, yesterday said he’d just gotten a new job. He asked Champagne to set bail at personal recognizance, instead of the $25,000 cash/corporate surety bail sought by the prosecutor.

Champagne set bail at $25,000, with conditions of no alcohol consumption and no driving until Allain’s privileges are restored.

Found in the Union Leader

Waynesboro, GA
Officers helped transport a delusional patient who mistook an emergency medical technician’s hand for a piece of chicken.

According to a report, officers responded to a call for assistance from the Burke County EMA on Saturday and upon arrival were told the patient had attempted to drink from an ashtray, urinate in a corner of his residence and was “under the impression” that one of the EMT’s hands was a piece of chicken.

The man was transported to Burke Medical Center for treatment.

Found in the True Citizen

Grass Valley, CA
At 6:06 p.m., a caller reported a car parked in front of a business on Freeman Lane in which one of the passengers was wearing women’s undergarments. Police could not find the vehicle.

Found in the Union

Goleta Valley, CA
Deputies are investigating an act of vandalism that left up to 40 Christmas trees missing their peaks. The vendor, who estimated his loss at over $5,000, told deputies it appeared the vandal entered through the chain link fence gaining access to the freshly cut trees before lopping off the top two-feet of them. On-site security heard a loud noise during the night, but assumed the commotion came from a nearby party.

and…

The 19-year-old man accused of spitting on a bus driver was easy to spot by the clothing he wore. The accused, reportedly obnoxious and dressed in a bright red Santa hat, was stumbling near a bus stop in the Calle Real area when first encountered by the MTD driver. Although the driver had left before authorities arrived on scene, just after 10 p.m., the intoxicated, argumentative Santa imposter was simple to locate. He was arrested for public intoxication.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Happy Holidays!

Erie County, NY
A 43-year-old Depew woman reported that her 41-year-old husband hit her with a hot dog during an argument.

Found in Bee News

Atlanta, GA
At Phipps Plaza, someone called police and said a man dressed like a woman walked into Barney’s New York and wrote a bad check for some items. Two officers scoured the mall and found the female impersonator, who was now standing with a 33-year-old male magazine editor. The female impersonator took off running. Police detained the magazine editor and determined he had nothing to do with the bad check. According to the police report, the female impersonator wrote a bad check for $274.32 … and the female impersonator also left behind his purse, which contained $306.52 in cash. (Note: For those of you who despise math, the female impersonator apparently had enough cash on him to cover whatever he bought with the bad check.) His purse also contained more fake checks and a fake North Carolina ID, police said.

Found in Creative Loafing

Rio Grande, NM
“That giant was just in my backyard and I’m scared,” a different Calle Don Leandro caller said. The caller was not sure if the giant was still in the area. Police were unable to locate the giant.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Fairview Park, OH
Getting shot during a job-related errand apparently wasn’t serious enough to keep a dutiful employee from driving back to his place of work.

At 4:30 p.m. Dec. 14, an 18-year-old North Olmsted man returned from running the errand for his manager at a Lorain Road business. The employee was covered in blood.

When asked what happened, the employee told his co-workers “I was shot,” according to a Fairview Park Police Department report.

Police found the young man sitting in a chair and in obvious pain from a bullet wound to his upper-right arm.

Paramedics arrived to take him to Fairview Hospital, where he would be treated. However, he was a bit reluctant to tell officers what actually happened, police said.

After repeated questioning, he told them that, while running the errand, he saw some friends walking near West 220th Street and Clifford Drive. He pulled the car over and, while talking to them, Kevin Sokolowski, 18, of Fairview Park, pulled out a gun to show it off, the police report said. The gun went off.

Police had Sokolowski’s description, and a patrolman spotted him walking along West 210th Street. When the patrolman pulled up, Sokolowski immediately began crying and said he didn’t mean to do it.

Police charged him with assault, a second-degree felony punishable by 2-8 years in prison. He was released on bond.

Police said the 9mm semi-automatic handgun came from a 40-year-old Parma man, who provided it to a juvenile so the youngster and the Parma man’s brother could go shooting at a range.

Instead, the juvenile carried the gun around, and later let Sokolowski carry it. Charges may also be filed against the Parma man and the juvenile, police said.

Found in the Sun News