Small Town Misfit

Everett, WA
A Seattle man has been charged with a slew of crimes that involved an alleged shoplifting, assaults and a pet duck named Mr. Peepers. Snohomish County Deputy Prosecutor Paul Stern on Thursday charged Kenneth Blaine Quinlan, 35, with two counts of third-degree assault and one count each of vehicular assault and hit-and-run.

Authorities say that on March 23, Quinlan and his 39-year-old girlfriend drove to a Lynnwood shopping center, where he entered a Linens ‘n Things outlet and she went into a Petco store, taking the duck with her.

Stern wrote in court papers that a security guard thought he saw Quinlan shoplift an iPod speaker system, and a scuffle ensued.

Police say the guard chased Quinlan to the Petco store, where Quinlan got the car keys from his girlfriend and tried to escape.

The man jumped into the driver’s seat of the car as the woman walked out of the store with her duck. Not knowing what was going on, she tried to stop him from driving away and was knocked down by the open car door as it backed up. She dropped the duck.

A Petco employee saw what was happening and “ran to save Peepers from the front of the car” just as Quinlan drove forward, Stern wrote. The car ran over the woman, inflicting serious injuries including broken bones in her foot and ankle, he said.

Charging papers say Quinlan continued driving and didn’t stop until his vehicle struck another car nearby.

The girlfriend and guard were not seriously hurt. Mr. Peepers was OK.

Quinlan was being held in the Snohomish County Jail in lieu of $25,000 bail. A convicted felon and former heroin addict, he told officers that he’d just received a dose of methadone at a Lynnwood clinic and had used cocaine a few days earlier, according to court papers.

Found in the Olympian

Thanks Nightmare1970!

Chattanooga, TN
Police answered a suicide call on Bonny Oaks Drive.

The young man in question told them he was not contemplating taking his own life because “he was too handsome and too talented to even think of killing himself.”

Found in the Chattanoogan

Thanks Chuck!

Goleta Valley, CA
With one working as lookout, and the other acting without haste, two subjects managed to hide over 30 DVDs in their purses. After paying for a few select items, the women exited the store without paying for the hoard of movies.

When contacted by store security in the parking lot, one female blurted, “I’m not a thief, but I came in to steal DVDs because I never got my tires.”

The other woman claims to have “panicked” when she realized they were actually stealing the DVDs.

The women were arrested for commercial burglary despite the excuses.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Bozeman, MT
A man was trying on pants in the dressing room of a department store on West Main Street. The store closed while he was in the changing room. The man was locked inside the store and had no way out.

Found in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle

Strongsville, OH
A 41-year-old Strongsville man was arrested on charges of criminal damaging Friday after he punched a gasoline pump at the Pearl Road BP Oil station and left the store.

The clerk at the station told police the man came into the store and tried to pre-pay for his fill-up, but walked out when the store refused his credit card. Minutes later, another customer came into the store saying the man had walked back to the pump, punched it and shattered the glass. That customer was able to retrieve the license plate number to the Lincoln Navigator he was driving.

Police were able to contact the suspect later that day, at which time he tried to convince police that on the way back to his car, he stubbed his toe on the concrete island surrounding the pump which caused him to hit the pump.

Had he not been late for work, the man said he would have made an attempt to pay for the damage at the time, however, he said he planned to return later that day to make amends.

The man was cited for criminal damaging, a second-degree misdemeanor.

Found in the Sun News

Clovis, NM
About 7 p.m. Tuesday an officer was called to a cellular phone store in the 4000 block of North Prince for a report of criminal damage.
A store manager told the officer a customer had shown up five minutes after closing, and when told the store was closed, got angry and threw his cell phone and charger through the front window.

The store employees provided police with a description of the vehicle the man left in.

The window was valued at $500.

Police are seeking a warrant for criminal damage.

Found in the Clovis News Journal

Atlanta, GA
A woman was passed out in the driver’s seat of a red 2007 Dodge Caliber, with the keys in the ignition, on the emergency shoulder of I-285 North, according to Cobb County police. An Atlanta police officer arrived and took custody of the driver, a 25-year-old Marietta woman. After she failed several field sobriety tests, she was arrested for DUI. The officer checked her purse and found a silver flask containing a liquid. The officer opened the flask and smelled alcohol. Once they got to jail, the woman agreed to a Breathalyzer test and blew about three times the legal limit for blood-alcohol level. Her purse was inventoried again, and police started to take the flask away. “Can I have that back?” the woman asked. “You already have me for DUI, so I might as well finish getting drunk, right?”

Found in Creative Loafing

Don’t smoke pot in front of a building under investigation for illegal drug activities. On June 18, while police were conducting an undercover surveillance mission of a Colleton Street apartment building, an officer noticed two people apparently smoking marijuana, toking on a joint in plain view of the public. A third person was hanging out with the bud smokers but not indulging in the Mary Jane.

The cops approached and said they were investigating illegal drug activity. The smokers then called one of the officers by name and said, “We aren’t selling drugs. Now we are smoking weed, we are not going to lie about that but that’s all we are doing.” The police attempted to locate the joint but had no luck and questioned the three about it. Perhaps victims of pot smokers’ memory loss, they told the police they did not recall what happened to it. All three were arrested and charged with loitering for narcotics.

Found in the Free Times

She could use some alcohol detox. Find information on addiction to alcohol and how to fight it at Medicalonline.com.au

Tracy, CA
A woman called to say that her 13-year-old son had shot out her 9-year-old son’s tooth with a pellet gun about two weeks ago.

She said the boys are allowed to play with guns unsupervised when they visit their father’s house in northern Tracy. She wanted an officer to go with her when she speaks with the father.

Found in the Tracy Press

Bridgeton, NJ
Melvin L. Ford Jr., 51, of Atlantic Street, was arrested Friday night for shoplifting after it was discovered that he had attempted to steal 18 types of deodorant from the East Broad Street Rite Aid by hiding them in his pants.

He was released on his own recognizance.

Found in the Bridgeton News

Missoulal, MT
University of Montana maintenance staff removed four pairs of women’s underwear that were clogging the toilet near the trail to the “M” following the Rolling Stones concert, said Capt. Jim Lemcke with the Office of Public Safety.

“I don’t know what was going on in there,” Lemcke said. “Maybe it’s just very powerful suction in the toilet.”
Another theory is that someone intended to throw the panties onstage, but couldn’t get a ticket, and instead abandoned them in the outhouse.

“If Babe wants her panties back, they’re a little damaged, but here they are,” Lemcke said.
In fact, Babe’s panties were turned over to the Kaimin. Please call the newsroom at 243-4310 to claim.

Found in the Montana Kaimin

Atlanta, GA
In midtown, two men got into a fight over a dog. Police responded and tried to sort out the dogfight between two men, who don’t live together. Here are the two men’s stories:

A 42-year-old man said he owns the dog, but he wanted to take the dog away from a 53-year-old man’s home on Penn Avenue. He also said he keeps some clothes there. But, he said, when he arrived at the 53-year-old man’s house, he saw that his clothes were on fire. He said the 53-year-old man rushed toward him and hit him with a shovel, so he left and went to the hospital.

The 53-year-old man’s story: He said he and the 42-year-old are friends, but the 42-year-old doesn’t take care of the dog. He said the 42-year-old uses him for money, and when he doesn’t give him money, he wants the dog back. The 53-year-old said he loves the dog. He was charged with aggravated assault and went to jail.

Found in Creative Loafing

Don’t smoke pot in front of a building under investigation for illegal drug activities. On June 18, while police were conducting an undercover surveillance mission of a Colleton Street apartment building, an officer noticed two people apparently smoking marijuana, toking on a joint in plain view of the public. A third person was hanging out with the bud smokers but not indulging in the Mary Jane.

The cops approached and said they were investigating illegal drug activity. The smokers then called one of the officers by name and said, “We aren’t selling drugs. Now we are smoking weed, we are not going to lie about that but that’s all we are doing.” The police attempted to locate the joint but had no luck and questioned the three about it. Perhaps victims of pot smokers’ memory loss, they told the police they did not recall what happened to it. All three were arrested and charged with loitering for narcotics.

Found in the Free Times

Our web site is for people who really love dogs. Find great resources on great dog gifts like a plush dog toys at OooWoo.com.

Tracy, CA
12:47 p.m.: A woman in western Tracy said that her that husband was upset that she was dancing at a party the previous night and had told her, “I’m busy right now, but when I come back, I will hit you.” The man was gone when police arrived.

Found in the Tracy Press