Small Town Misfit

Grass Valley, CA
At 8:12 p.m., a caller from the hospital on Glasson Way reported a bearded man wearing leather was handing out literature with nude photography to young women while he was visiting a patient. The caller said the man looked like a “motorcycle type.” The caller said the man left.

Found in the Union

Bozeman, MT
• A man was “hog tied” outside a home on Rose Street after he started fighting with people. When officers arrived, the man was tied up on the sidewalk. An officer gave him a ride home.

• A child on South Church Avenue called 911 because he was mad at his mom.

• A woman on South 14th Avenue told police that someone put dog poop on her friend’s vehicle.

• Teenagers were in the lobby of the Law and Justice Center. They wanted to photograph an officer for a scavenger hunt.

• Four men in a vehicle on West Madison Avenue flashed passersby with a nude picture of a woman.

Found in the Bozeman Daily Chronicle

Waynesboro, GA
A Sardis woman and her son were arrested after the family lashed out at deputies with a colorful array of curse words at the Cotton Gin Food Market.

When deputies initially tried to speak to Kody Burke, 18, who was observed avoiding a road block, he said “they can’t (expletive) touch me.”

His juvenile brother then angrily approached deputies, yelling “Y’all ain’t gonna (expletive) with my brother. What the (expletive) did he do?”

Their mother, Krystal Jackson, 36, joined in, saying, “(Expletive) this (expletive).” When deputies warned her of her language, she continued, “Y’all ain’t gonna do a (expletive) thing to my son. He can do any (expletive) thing he wants to.”

When deputies proceeded to take Jackson into custody, Burke screamed, “Y’all better not do anything to my mother-(expletive) momma.”

Both mother and son were charged with disorderly conduct.

Found in the True Citizen

Newport, KY
A Newport woman was arrested last night for stabbing her fiancé with a grill fork during a domestic dispute.

Gwendolyn Evans, 39, allegedly stabbed Dennis Farrell, 46, of Alexandria, at her West 10th Street home around 8 p.m. Monday. She is charged with assault in the second degree, a felony.

The couple, who told police they are engaged, said they began arguing and hitting each other. Evans stabbed Farrell once in the side and once in the back with the grill fork, according to the police report.

“She alleges that he had struck her, so when he turned around she stabbed him in the back with a grill fork,” said Newport Police Ofc. Tom Collins.

She is being held in the Campbell County Detention Center in Newport. As of 8:30 a.m. Tuesday, no bond nor arraignment date had been set. Farrell received treatment for the injuries at University Hospital.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Don’t smoke pot in front of a building under investigation for illegal drug activities. On June 18, while police were conducting an undercover surveillance mission of a Colleton Street apartment building, an officer noticed two people apparently smoking marijuana, toking on a joint in plain view of the public. A third person was hanging out with the bud smokers but not indulging in the Mary Jane.

The cops approached and said they were investigating illegal drug activity. The smokers then called one of the officers by name and said, “We aren’t selling drugs. Now we are smoking weed, we are not going to lie about that but that’s all we are doing.” The police attempted to locate the joint but had no luck and questioned the three about it. Perhaps victims of pot smokers’ memory loss, they told the police they did not recall what happened to it. All three were arrested and charged with loitering for narcotics.

Found in the Free Times

I guess she is going to need a lawyer. If they were married she could get some divorce forms . You can find great information on legal forms, as well as government forms at forms-legal.com.

Palm Beach, FL
On Monday, March 19, cops received a call from a woman who’d returned home to find her apartment with a strong odor of marijuana. After entering her bedroom she found her television on and playing a pornographic movie, as well as, a cigarette butt in her bed. In her kitchen she found a new package of cheese and a package of turkey had been opened. She found a large plastic bag containing smaller bags with marijuana and in a laptop was stolen. The victim suspects a possible suspect is her ex-boyfriend. The officer found the deadbolt was forced open and the evidence was taken in for investigation.

Found in the Weekday Newspaper

Tuscon, AZ
Suspicious activity was reported at 8:30 p.m. March 15 in the 2000 block of North Avenida Tabica. A resident told police the following: A UPS driver stopped at her house and asked for some aspirin. She invited him inside her house. She gave him a glass of water, Motrin and a cupcake. He asked her personal questions but did not make a pass at her. She called UPS and was informed that drivers are not allowed into clients’ homes. She said her husband suggested she report the incident.

Found in the Arizona Star

Atlanta, GA
Three men from South Carolina were visiting Atlanta. They called police to their hotel room. One man, 20, said he and his friends were in town for a concert at the Masquerade. He said they searched the Internet for the closest hotel to the Masquerade — and that’s how they wound up at the hotel on Ponce de Leon Avenue. The officer asked them to explain exactly why they called police to their hotel room. The 20-year-old man said he walked into the hotel room and immediately noticed there was no smoke detector. Then, he said, he opened the bathroom door and noticed the towels had yellow and brown human feces on them. He said his friends tried to turn on the radiator, and the knob fell off and the radiator was extremely hot to the touch. The officer examined the hotel room and “confirmed the room was just as [the 20-year-old man] stated.”

The officer explained that this was a civil issue and nothing criminal had occurred. He did file a police report for a health-code violation. The officer noted, “I also told the gentlemen that since the receipt stated on it ‘no refunds,’ that this issue was for a courtroom.” The three men left the hotel without a refund. Welcome to Atlanta!

Found in Creative Loafing

Mukilteo, WA
Officers received a third party report of a child living in the woods near the playground area around the 11100 block of Chennault Beach Rd. The child was reported to be covered in mud and had “snake bites” all over her. There was no age, race, name, or any other information on the child. Officers checked the wooded area but did not see any evidence of anyone living in the woods.

Found in the Mukilteo Beacon

Goleta Valley, CA
In response to a report of an unstable Isla Vista resident, deputies performed a routine welfare check of the person. Officers meeting with the 39-year-old subject believed her to be behaving suspiciously.

After some questioning, she admitted drinking methamphetamines. The woman explained that, rather than smoking or injecting her drug of choice, she dissolves it in her coffee. She was arrested for being under the influence of a controlled substance.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Columbia, SC
While driving her usual bus route on Forest Drive, a 40-year-old woman was uncomfortably surprised when one of the passengers sitting behind her started caressing her behind. The driver immediately stopped the bus, at which time the fanny fondler exited the bus and ran away.

Found in the Free Times

Atlanta, GA
A 21-YEAR-OLD WOMAN said another woman showed up at her home on Pryor Street and poured gasoline all around her house and lit her porch on fire. She said this woman wants her boyfriend, and that’s what the dispute is about. The 21-year-old said she put out the fire before any damage occurred. She said this woman fled in a black Ford Taurus with front-end damage.

Found in Creative Loafing

Redwood City, CA
A man standing naked in the backyard and reportedly threatening his landlord with a rake was arrested.

Found in the Mercury News