Small Town Misfit

Orange County, CA
A taxi driver told police at 1:42 a.m. Saturday that a female customer had gotten out of the cab near Heil Avenue and Rhine Drive and defecated in the street.

The woman then got back in the cab and gave directions to her residence but when they arrived, the house wasn’t hers.
Police arrived and assisted the woman in finding her home.

Found in the OC Register

Goleta Valley, CA
After a man involved in a traffic collision was arrested for cocaine possession, the deputy asked if he wished to have drug treatment or counseling.

“This is my treatment,” the 23-year-old answered, implying his time spent behind bars would keep him from using.

After admitting during the interview that he’d last used cocaine at a Carpinteria beach prior to the collision on North Fairview Avenue , he added, “It was good coke. I probably did two lines, but when I use, I usually do an eight ball at a time.”

It was noted in the arrest report that the subject’s attitude oscillated between happy, sad and angry. In his rambling conversation with the arresting Sheriff’s officer, he talked about becoming president of the United States and “turning the world into a skate park.”

At 1 p.m. after his arrest, the Whittier resident was transported to Santa Barbara County Jail.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Boulder, CO
A 26-year-old Longmont man was arrested on suspicion of criminal mischief on July 22 after police were called to Boulder Community Hospital, 1100 Balsam Ave. to contact a patient in the emergency room, according to Boulder Police reports. The man had been arrested earlier the same day by the Boulder Police Department on suspicion of DUI and careless driving resulting in bodily injury and was at the hospital for monitoring and a medical clearance. He was accused of biting through the electrical cord connecting a pulse oximeter to his finger. On the arrest report, the suspect indicated that he was a self-employed electrician.

Found in the Boulder Police Blotter

Goleta Valley, CA
A college student apprehended for obstructing law enforcement and public intoxication may also be held responsible for the financial expenditures incurred during his “unilateral decision to leap off a cliff” while trying to escape arrest in Isla Vista.

A fire engine with four personnel, a university paramedic, a university EMT and four deputies were called to assist in the arrest of the 20-year-old who intentionally hurled himself over a railing onto the beach below Del Playa Drive. The arresting deputy has requested the District Attorney reviewing the case hold the accused responsible for the financial burden he caused during his failed escape.

The subject’s 20-foot fall was slowed by the fact that his flip-flop became entangled in ice plant during his decent. Following contact with a rock outcropping, where he landed, the man lay unconscious for 15 seconds until he stirred awake. Despite suffering an arm fracture and a bruised lung, the young man got up and took off until captured on a stairwell leading up from the beach.

The subject was transported to Cottage Hospital for medical treatment before his arrest.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Lakewood, CO
Police were called to an apartment complex on the 400 block of South Youngfield Court at 5:22 a.m. June 30 after a Heineken bottle was thrown off a rooftop, smashing the rear windshield of a Honda parked below. According to police reports, the damage to the vehicle was $400. Police contacted about 15 suspects in an apartment where a party was going on. Several people were hiding from police in the attic crawl space and would not come down until officers crawled up after them, reports said.

The resident of the apartment, a 22-year-old man from Lakewood, was issued a summons for disobeying a police officer, as were the people in the attic. The people who were under 21 and consuming alcohol were cited as well, police said. No one admitted to throwing the beer bottle, reports said.

Found in the Lakewood Post

Lakewood, CO
Three guests at the Homestead Motel at 8837 W. Colfax Ave. were startled when a man started yelling andbanging on their door at 10:29 p.m. June 27. According to police reports, one of the guests said the man was kicking the door and screaming at her because her truck was blocking his path to a trash container. The man, a 41-year-old from Lakewood, told police he was “inconvenienced” because he had to walk an extra 15 to 20 feet. He said he was not a violent person, he only spoke violently, reports said. He was issued a summons for disorderly conduct and harassment.

Found in the Lakewood Police Blotter

Orange County, CA
A caller told police that a “ton of money” was flying around at the intersection of Talbert Avenue and Newland Street at 10:40 a.m. Wednesday. The caller said people were in the middle of the street trying to pick up the money.
When police arrived, they found no money in the street.

Found in the Orange County Register

Cincinnati, OH
Cincinnati police say James Barbour and Carol Walters picked a very public place to have sex – the median of a busy Downtown street during rush hour.

Someone called Cincinnati’s 911 center at 4:57 p.m. Wednesday to report a possible rape in the median at 200 West Central Parkway.

When police arrived, though, they said they found Barbour, 37, having intercourse with Walters, 48, who was wearing nothing but a T-shirt pulled up around her neck.

The arresting officer, who charged them with public indency, reported he could see the pair having intercourse “from the roadway.”

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Erie County, NY
West Seneca police received a call of a man sitting in the middle of the intersection of Graham and Dirksen avenues June 6. Officers saw a white male heading up Harlem Road. When Officer Bart Adams approached him, the man yelled that he was possessed by Satan and he was to be exorcised at 10 p.m. “because Lucifer will do bad things.”

When told to get into the car he went berserk, running in and out of traffic. Adams caught him and officers Rich Cotter and Mary Caulfield took him to police headquarters. At the police station he kicked over the Breathalyzer, claiming Satan did it. He was taken via Rural/Metro to the Erie County Medical Center.

Found in the Bee News

Atlanta, GA
A Marietta woman needed to use the bathroom around 4 a.m. at a gas station on Spring Street. When she couldn’t get into the bathroom, she got anxious and walked out a door marked “Emergency Use Only,” a manager noted. He told her to come back inside. He said she proceeded to squat and urinate on the side of the building. The manager said he got his security guards, and the woman ran around the building and scaled a large fence. “This must have been difficult, given her attire,” a police officer noted. (She was wearing a dress and high heels.)

The woman’s story: She couldn’t get into the bathroom, and she was afraid she was going to pee on herself. She said she did the only thing she could: exit quickly and urinate. She said she wasn’t trying to be malicious, but she had to pee really bad. She apologized to police and the store manager. She said she thought all the attention about the incident was a little extreme. The officer asked, “Why did you jump the fence?” The officer noted her reply: “She didn’t really have an answer, but only stated she didn’t understand why they wanted her picture.” She got a ticket for public urination.

Found in Creative Loafing

Atlanta, GA
On Tumlin Street, a woman said her husband was angry because she wouldn’t let a neighbor use some cooking oil. She said her husband went to the neighbor’s house to give him the cooking oil and wash his clothes. (The neighbor is also the husband’s friend.) She said her husband returned around 30 minutes later and hugged her and said he would be a better man.

The woman said she was in bed, and her husband got under the covers and started pulling on her ankles. She said this hurt, so she told her husband to stop, but he wouldn’t. She said she grabbed his hand and squeezed to try to make him stop. She said he let go, walked to the door and threw his phone at her — and the phone hit her arm. She said she threw the phone back at him. She said her husband screamed, “Don’t break my phone!” She said her husband then broke her phone.

She said she put on her clothes and told her husband she was calling the police, and he just flipped out. She said he pushed her onto the bed, jumped on her and pushed her head. He told her she was dirty and no good, she said. She retorted by saying that her ex-husband loved her more. Then, she said, her husband spit on her. Eventually, she said, the husband left the house with a friend, and she called 911.

Found in Creative Loafing

Kittitas County, WA
Nearly 10 adults were reportedly undressing for a photo shoot on Ginko Avenue.

Found in the Daily Record