Small Town Misfit

Durango, CO
7:56 p.m. Several skateboarders were using the emergency room exit as a ramp and wouldn’t leave at Mercy Regional Medical Center.

Found in the Durango Herald

Durango, CO
2:26 p.m. Two women were skinny dipping at Durango Lodge, 150 East Fifth St., and they wouldn’t leave.

Found in the Durango Herald

Campbell, CA
Bascom Avenue, 7:49 p.m. Thursday A woman told police her husband intentionally fell on her while he was trying to fix the curtains.

Found in the San Jose Mercury News

Erie County, NY
Town of Tonawanda Police responded to a welfare check and upon entering the apartment found several marijuana plants. The woman begged police not to confiscate them because “they were not big enough to smoke yet.”

Found in Bee News

Erie County, NY
A woman reportedly left her purse in her unlocked vehicle as she used a restroom in Ellicott Creek Park. After she returned to her vehicle and drove away, she realized her purse was missing. When she returned to the park later that evening she was chased away by skunks.

Found in the Bee News

Grass Valley, CA
At 11:31 a.m., a man called from a business on the 400 block of Sutton Way to report his mop bucket was stolen and vandals dumped over his recycling. Police took a report for petty theft.

Found in the Union

Atlanta, GA
An officer responded to a call about a store clerk lying on top of a suspected shoplifter outside a store on Metropolitan Parkway. When the officer arrived, he saw the clerk and an unidentified man struggling on the ground with the suspect. Both the clerk and the suspect were bleeding and exhausted, the officer noted. “I also observed an open carton of Snickers candy bars next to where the struggle had taken place.”

The officer handcuffed the suspect. The unidentified man, who had blood on his clothes, said, “It’s unbelievable how strong that guy is.” He said he’d helped the clerk stop the suspect, but he was in a hurry and didn’t want to be listed in the report. The suspect was arrested for allegedly trying to steal the 24-pack of Snickers candy bars (worth $50). He has “13 1/2″ tattooed on his arm.

The clerk said during the struggle, the suspect bit down on his arm and wouldn’t let go until police arrived. Grady medics said the clerk should go to a hospital. The clerk declined, saying he couldn’t leave work.

Found in Creative Loafing

Goleta Valley, CA
Amid an unruly crowd of bar patrons outside a Calle Real drinking establishment, a 21-year-old female was arrested for “willfully teasing” a deputy’s canine. The woman, who claims she was simply “blowing kisses” at the pooch, had been told twice to discontinue the affectionate distraction agitating the dog.

Through tears, during her arrest, the emotional university student yelled, “I was only blowing kisses at the dog.”

After transporting the subject to Santa Barbara County Jail, according to the report, the arresting deputy was informed by custody personnel that the woman’s offense was not “bookable within the Santa Barbara jail facility.” As a result, the subject was issued a citation and released from detention just before 3:30 a.m.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Orange County, CA
Police received a call that someone in a white and green ice cream truck was selling Airsoft guns to children Tuesday. The incident occurred at 6:34 p.m. in the area of Bushard Street and Bickley Avenue.
Police contacted the driver of the truck who said he would check with the city on the provisions of his business license.

Found in the OC Regsiter

Chadron, NE
12:18 a.m. Caller from the 1100 block of Second St. in Crawford advised there was a male walking on Highway 20 near the above location with only a T-shirt on.

4:53 a.m. Caller from the 100 block of West Second St. requested officers at the above location because there were kids on the roof.

11:43 a.m. Caller from the 500 block of Main St. advised someone had smeared nacho cheese all over the windshield of her van.

5:36 p.m. Caller from the 200 block of Morehead advised that a juvenile at the above location was hitting a dog with a hose.

Found in the Chadron Record

Erie County, NY
A Tonawanda man on a motorcycle struck a parked car. Upon police arrival, the driver was sitting on top of his motorcycle and smelled like alcohol. When asked if he had been drinking, he replied, “Way too much.”

Found in the Bee News

Royal Palm Beach, FL
A man in the 200 block of Southwest Third Street was drying a towel in the oven when it caught fire. The man was not aware the towel was on fire. He laid it on the bed, which caught fire. There were no smoke detectors or fire extinguishers in the apartment. The fire was determined to be accidental.

Found in the Palm Beach Post