Small Town Misfit

Appleton, WI
Suspicious incident: A woman called police after an unknown man left a note on her car apologizing for staring after seeing her naked through a window while walking his dog. The note indicated he would come back should she want to meet him.

Found in the Appleton Post-Crescent

Cincinnati, OH
Nicholas Donohue was pretty sure he knew who ripped out the stereo speakers from his car and thought he could give a good description.

Donohue called Cincinnati police at 8:14 p.m. Monday from 300 Central Parkway to report his 1998 Toyota had been vandalized. He described the culprit as a white man wearing white socks, a black and white shirt – and no pants.

Donohue was sure of the description because the man was asleep – or passed out – inside of his car.

Police arrested Kim Joseph LeBlanc, 36, of Norwood, and charged him with criminal damaging, public indecency and two outstanding arrest warrants for driving under suspension.

Donohue told police he went to his car and saw LeBlanc inside his car, naked from the waist down and passed out.

Donohue told police he tried to rouse LeBlanc, but the man started throwing CDs out onto the ground. He also noticed the car’s speakers had been ripped out.

LeBlanc told police he had done drugs and “a leprechaun had let himself inside” Donohue’s car, the police report noted.

LeBlacnc is set to be in court later today on the charges.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer

Thanks Luann!

Columbia, SC
An irate male patient at a hospital on Forest Drive assaulted two women Oct. 9. The man, who was admitted to the emergency room for a laceration and intoxication, became irritated for some reason and threw a urine bottle and a bedpan at one of the women. Another woman entered the room to check on the patient at the time that he was urinating in the bottle, whereupon he attempted to hit victim two with the urine, causing it to “splash and be wasted on the floor.”

Found in the Free-Times

Amherst, OH
5:12 p.m. – Fifth Third Bank, a woman threatened bank employees after accusing the bank of withholding her child support, which she claimed was in the millions.

Found in the Chronicle-Telegram

Atlanta, GA
A man said he was in his house on Sims Street around 12:30 a.m., when another man kicked in his back door. The man reportedly apologized and said he had the wrong house. The man, who wore a net cap, fled before police arrived. The damage to the back door is about $200.

Found in Creative Loafing

Rio Grande, NM
2:22 p.m. — A State Road 76 caller said she was having a problem with a neighbor. When the officer arrived she explained that witches were damaging the house and her neighbor is a witch. Police did not find any criminal activity.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Flathead County, MT
2:24 p.m. An Evergreen woman called in when she saw a man follow two kids on a bicycle to the park. She said the man looked like a bum. She then saw the man play with the kids. She didn’t think the man was the kid’s Dad. When Deputies looked into it they found the man was the kid’s Dad.

Found in the Beacon.

Atlanta, GA
A 58-year-old man walked into the police precinct in Underground Atlanta. He said another man told him he smelled bad and poured a cup of Downy fabric softener on him. Apparently, both men were at a homeless shelter on Pryor Street.

Found in Creative Loafing

Westlake, OH

A 65-year-old Elyria woman refused to stop for police Oct. 3 as she drove on Interstate 90 from Sheffield Village.

As it turns out the chase was only the start of her problems.

Apparently she didn’t learn from the Oct. 3 incident, which resulted in her being charged for driving with a suspended license. She decided to hop back behind the wheel and test the vigilance of police.

On Friday the woman was pulled over (this time without a chase) in Westlake and charged again with driving with a suspended license.

While in the city’s jail the woman then hit a jailer and was charged with assaulting a corrections officer, adding a felony charge to her already impressive list of infractions.

Found in the Sun News

Goleta Valley, CA

A young woman found in possession of a stolen bicycle on campus at UCSB wrote a heartfelt letter to the victim after being charged with petty theft.

A copy of the letter, also attached to the report, read: “To whom it may concern: I am personally writing to you, the owner of the bicycle to truly and sincerely apologize for the heartache that I have caused you. I, myself, have had a run with bike theft in my freshman year. I know the feeling of utter despair you must have felt … My pangs of regret and remorse run deep. I am sorry.”

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Goleta Valley, CA
“Get me out of here,” begged the USC student arrested in Isla Vista for public intoxication, “I’ll pay you 100 bucks, just get me out of here.”

Deputies apprehended the guy on Del Playa Drive after finding him stumbling alone after midnight. Lost and confused, the visitor thought he was on “27th Street,” he told deputies. He also thought he was born in “1817.”

and…

Asking complete strangers to help him find his way home, an intoxicated male was contacted by deputies at 1 a.m. as he wandered aimlessly near the intersection of El Embarcadero and Sabado Tarde in Isla Vista.

“I’m just trying to find my home,” argued the 19-year-old.
During his booking for public intoxication, the subject told deputies he was 8 feet tall.

and…

A 72-year-old man had to be carried to a patrol vehicle after his arrest for public intoxication. The Santa Maria resident, intoxicated and belligerent, was removed from an Amtrak train after lying down, blocking the aisle and refusing to move.

Due to his high level of intoxication, an ambulance was called to the scene to transport the man to the hospital for treatment. Deputies re-contacted the offensive man at the hospital, citing him for public intoxication. His response, according to the report, was to tell the deputies to go “piss on a rope.”

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Flathead County, MT
3:16 p.m. Someone shot a dog who had a cat “attached” to its mouth.

Found in the Beacon.