Small Town Misfit

Seven Hills, OH
An East Parkhaven Drive resident called police just after 1 p.m. Oct. 5 to report that an elderly woman was driving in a maroon car and appeared to be in need of assistance.

When police arrived on scene, they saw the woman in the maroon car and the caller following in another car. An officer pulled in front of the woman stopping her from proceeding.

The 95-year-old Garfield Heights woman said she was trying to get away from the man that was following her and she was taking “Richard” to Hillside Road. However there was no other person in the vehicle.

The caller told police that he noticed the woman sitting in front of his home and she seemed to be having a problem.

He went to see if she needed help and noticed that the woman was using a Ouija board. She drove away and he called police.

According to the woman, “Richard” is the Ouija board and he is from outer space.

A Seven Hills Fire Department rescue squad was called and the elderly woman was taken to Parma Community General Hospital for evaluation.

Found in the Parma Sun Post

Denver, CO
On Oct. 3 at 11:55 a.m. a 35-year-old Conifer resident told police when she pulled up in the drive-through at the Taco Bell on 17764 S. Golden Road in Golden, she heard the driver of a Jeep in front of her, yell at the female driver in front of him and spit on her vehicle. She said she heard the Jeep driver call the woman an expletive and he yelled at her to apologize to him for cutting him off. The woman said as he pulled up to the drive-through call box, she heard him say, “Can you spit in that lady’s food for me?”

The police contacted the 43-year-old driver of the Jeep as he was leaving the establishment and told him if they heard from the female who was in front of him, he would be contacted by police. He denied yelling profanities or spitting on any vehicle. As of Oct. 4 the female driver had not contacted the police and the case was closed.

Found in the Golden Police Blotter

Goleta Valley, CA
With pants unfastened, a young man weaving in and out of oncoming traffic in Isla Vista struggled to keep his trousers up. Noting his inability to belt his trousers, deputies contacted the 19-year-old after midnight in the 6600 block of Del Playa Drive.

Upon questioning, he dropped his drawers to the ground and pulled a beer mug he’d been concealing out of his pant leg.

When asked how much alcohol he’d consumed, the Vacaville resident replied, “I’ve had quite a bit.”

After assisting the man in fastening his pants, officers arrested him for public intoxication and transported him to jail.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Atlanta, GA
At a check-cashing business on Forsyth Street, a clerk said a man came in to cash a Georgia Department of Corrections resident account check for $11,584.79. The clerk said she went to the safe to get $10,000, but got $20,000 without realizing it. She said she gave the man $20,000, plus an additional $1,237.25. (Total: $21,237.25. For those of you who despise math: If she hadn’t given him the extra $10,000, the total would have been $11,237.25 — thus shorting him $347.54. Either way, her math skills appear seriously flawed.) The clerk said she didn’t realize she gave away the extra money until she counted the money in the safe later.

Found in Creative Loafing

Annapolis, MD
A man tried to set two women’s clothes on fire Monday night on West Street, police said.

At 9:09 p.m., officers responded to the intersection of West Street and Madison Place for a report of an assault. The women told the police an unknown male had approached them while they were walking down West Street and began yelling at them. He then attempted to set their clothes on fire with a cigarette lighter.

The suspect fled the scene before police arrived and officers were unable to find him. Neither of the women were injured during the incident.

Found in Hometown Annapolis

Chico, CA
8:05 a.m. Suspicious circumstance reported on Trinity Lane. “Reporting party observed truck just drove by very slowly. Two males with ski masks got out and began to wipe down the entire truck. Now they have fishing poles out.”

Found in the Orion

Columbia, SC
A man entered a North Main Street store Sept. 28 and packed a shopping cart with 20 cases of Budweiser and exited the store without paying.

Found in the Free Times

Missoula, MT
A worried mother called police and requested they check on her daughter, who had sent her a text message the night before saying only that “something had happened,” and then failed to answer repeated phone calls, Director of Public Safety Jim Lemcke said. Officers and RAs responded to the girl’s room but she did not answer the door, which was unlocked but had a chain in place. They cut the chain to get in, and discovered the girl and a young man asleep in bed together. “So there was embarrassment all the way around,” said Lemcke, “but everyone was fine.” Officers told the girl to call her mother.

Found in the Montana Kaimin

Mukilteo, WA
A party called and requested an officer escort him to his mailbox in the apartment complex. The party said that he wanted the police there to keep the peace and avoid problems with the management. The party was advised that he could call 911 if a disturbance arose while he was getting his mail.

Found in the Mukilteo Beacon

Orange County, CA
A Garden Grove man accused of sneaking up to girls at the Bella Terra shopping center and taking photographs under their skirts will be arraigned Dec. 3, officials said.

Jason Hanavan, 30, was arrested Monday on Edinger Avenue and Beach Boulevard and charged with invading privacy with a concealed camera, said Huntington Beach police Lt. Mitchell O’Brien.

A witness reported that a man wearing an “Irish’’ hat was going up to girls with short skirts and taking photographs up their skirts, police Officer Corby Bright said. The witness notified security at the Barnes & Noble in the center, Bright said.

Found in the Orange County Register

Chattanooga, TN
Police answered a call of a disorder in a car on Dallas Road.

Charles Mooney and India Kendrick said they were not fighting. They were jamming to some rock music.

Found in the Chattanoogan

Rio Grande, NM
1:06 p.m. - A Guachupange caller said a man came to her door pretending to be a Jehovah’s witness, entered the house and asked her if she wanted to do a line (of cocaine). As he was leaving he told her he would be coming back and she could perform oral sex on him. She said he left in a tan colored Chevy Trailblazer headed into Española. Officers were advised.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun